To be upset after comment from friend?

[SlowStarters]

For context, I used to be very overweight and unfit, mostly due to MH issues. I lost 38 kilos, and I've kept it off for 6 years now. I discovered I loved hiking and enjoy 10-15k hikes around the Brecon Beacons, for example.

I'm not a 'natural' sportsperson in any way. I'm very short, big bust, mild asthma, but I'm proud of my achievement and want to improve my fitness more so I recently started running. My legs are strong from the hikes but I am slow.

And I say running. Well. More sweaty, breathy jogging, really.

I ran jogged my first full non-stop 5k distance yesterday. I felt elated! I met a friend for coffee this afternoon and told her I'd managed my first 5k in 39 minutes and I was hoping next time I'd knock a minute or two off the time.

She actually scoffed and said she could walk 5k quicker than that. Then she changed the subject.

I can't believe I felt, and still feel, utterly deflated. I know it's really slow and an average time is 25-30 mins but is 39 mins embarrassingly awful?

I feel like throwing my running trainers away.

I've not rtft but I just wanted to say that I consider myself fairly fit, do loads of walking pushing a buggy up and down hills every day, always been active and into sporty stuff. It takes me about 40 minutes to run 5k. Running is weird, you can be pretty fit and just a bit of a slow runner.

It really doesn't matter, you're covering the distance and you're doing it much faster than walking whatever your silly friend says, which is fantastic for your health and fitness. Also your friend talks about walking it as if that would be nothing. That would also be great exercise! I bet she wouldn't even do that.

Well done you! I’m just about to start week 2 of couch to 5k and the idea of running 5k non stop seems impossible just now. I have a friend like that. Best h But she did was to move 100 miles away. Now we exchange pleasantries over Facebook and see each other once a year. I honestly don’t think she means to be mean. I’ve decided she’s probably a bit aspergic and just says what she means without thinking or being tactful. For that reason I can’t cut her off as a friend but likewise I’m glad I can just take her in small doses.

Good luck - I hope you feel motivated to do what works for you and feel great. I envy those who can catch the running/fitness bug and enjoy it. There can be some harsh people in the skinny camp - presumably those who have never had issues or have got so absorbed in their own journey thy forget what others might feel. I joined a gym mainly to swim, but went to the gym to get my induction. The trainer showed me the exercises and got me set up, then spoke about nutrition and suggested lower meat intake and to have more veg. I said I agreed and that I’d bought some fresh veg soups from the supermarket. You’d have thought I’d told her I was about two eat two Big Macs and a McFlurry! She lectured me about how bad they were for you and how easy soup is to make. Yes I know it’s easy and I’m perfectly capable but at the time I was working, had school runs to manage plus had to give DH lifts to work and back. I could barely find time to stick a pan on let alone think about spending my weekend batch cooking soups. I felt so demoralised I haven’t used he gym since which is a crap excuse but I don’t want to get a new programme and feel shit again. Will just stick to swimming.

39 minutes is good don’t knock it! Well done. I think she is jealous, if she was always the “thin fit one “ she probably feels that is now being threatened with you loosing weight and getting fit. I “run” and my best times were only 9 mins miles, I’m now 60 and can only run once a week on the flat and 5 k now takes me at least 45 mins. AND I DONT CARE I CAN DO IT and that is all that matters. Keep on running girl you’re a miracle.

Awesome achievement!!! In the olden days, before I had babies and shitty bones, (osteopenia) I used to run to “one more driveway than yesterday”... it’s amazing how soon that adds up! I wish I could do it again, but alas, I am now a falls risk. I have to walk, which is nice, but a bit meh...

Well done OP, you are doing amazing. I know that you say that you don't have many local friends but no friends is better than negative ones. People like this are subtle, they affect your self esteem in tiny ways little by little. You may feel like you can handle her and brush it off when you are well but she will get to you if there are other negative things in your life. You deserve good, positive, supportive friends - she is not your responsibility. Please don't be friends with her anymore.

Stuff your friend. I'm very pround of you. What an amazing achievement. Have you thought about doing ParkRun? You'd be very welcome there and people would be cheering you through the finish line.

OP, you’re awesome! Don’t let your “friend” and her own insecurities affect your training. I’ve been running for about 18months now and my 5k time is still over 30 mins. Having said that I’ve done a half marathon and am signed up to do a couple more. I used to feel bad about my times and still catch myself making excuses for how slow I am but I’m trying to realise that how slow I am really doesn’t matter. What matters is a) I’m doing it and b) I’m enjoying it.
Keep at it and enjoy surprising yourself with what your body can actually do.

What a black-hearted cunt.

OP, good on you!

Brilliant OP, your determination is paying off. I also think you should keep running and leave your 'friend' behind. When you are obviously excited about something you have worked for, friends celebrate with you.

It’s infinitely quicker than her time as she hasn’t done it. Don’t sweat about the opinions of others, especially those trying to knock you down.

OP well done!!!!

She may we’ll be able to walk it in 40 minutes BUT I find that hard to believe.

I’ve done ultras at walking pace but my best av pace is 3.5 mph/5.6km per hour. So I call bullshit!

I might be able to push 6kmph walking but without jogging it’s unlikely to be faster and she’d be pretty fit and do ALOT of walking to be doing 7-8 Kkmph 😂

Well done Op

What an inspiring thread! It makes me wish I could run (knees).

Well done OP!

WELL DONE YOU ON YOUR HEALTH IMPROVEMENTS!!

COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY and that's exactly what she's done.

Keep your successes for people who are going to elevate you rather than try to knock you down.

WELL DONE TO YOU - YOU'RE AN INSPIRATION!!!

What you can take from your 'friend's' response is that you look fantastic enough for her to try and sabotage your success.

She deserves to be binned but if you don't, just be very careful around her as she will likely try to puncture your newly found confidence again.

Saw this..and I liked it!

Hi OP how are you doing today?
Just to let you know you’ve inspired me (overweight with mental health issues) I won’t be running 5k but I’ll be walking 10 miles with ds in the morning

Well done OP! so impressive!

You have achieved so much to feel hugely proud of!! It certainly sounds like she isn't a true friend, but if you aren't prepared to simply cut her off without a backwards glance, why not call her out on it? If she suggests she was just joking, or says you don't have a sense of humour, or similar, then you've got your answer - she's no friend. But she might just surprise you and apologise and then you might have a better friendship for it?

OP it just doesn't matter what the 'average' is. What matters is what YOU did, and running 5k in 39 minutes is a heck of an achievement. Well done you!

If you are inspired to keep running you are likely to see that time go lower. Don't measure against 'average', measure yourself against you and only you, because nobody else's statistics matter a jot. You're doing brilliantly.

Stay safe, stay hydrated, wear good socks and enjoy being on the go. High five!!

I can't even run 5 metres so I think running your first 5k in 39 minutes is remarkably well. I'm good at other forms of exercise and my legs are pretty strong from years and years of dancing and doing rpm but for some reason I just can't get into running. I seem to have this irrational fear that I'll just cark it midway through. Yet I can happily do a 45 min rpm class without getting out of breath or breaking a sweat. I do have to double my sports bra up though otherwise I'd end up with 2 black eyes and if I had longer arms so would the Pervy guy who spends all his time looking down my gym top

@SlowStarters how are you getting on? Inspired by this thread I pushed myself on a group run last night and managed 7k. When I started C25k in January, in the cold & rain I never contemplated that was possible. I was slow but the others in the group were very kind & looped round for me a number of times. Sweaty horrible mess at the end but elated at my achievement. Just push yourself a tiny little bit each time - distance or time & I promise it will pay rewards - physically & mentally. Keep on running! 🏃‍♀️

Great achievements and agree, that's not a friend. If you have a parkrun near you, they're worth giving a go, very supportive and friendly! Much better friends to be made there.

You know what, OP? Good for you! I certainly couldn't run 5k in 39 minutes, and I've been improving my fitness lately. You should be immensely proud of yourself, and say goodbye to your "friend", who isn't a friend at all. X