Please tell me your best simple steps to coping with a surge of OVERWHELM

[64sNewName]

Having one of those days; struggling to hold it together. DC are getting the sharp end of my temper and I'm feeling so guilty and upset with myself and my head is everywhere. I need to get on top of things.

Impossible work deadlines, children's party imminent, visit from relatives imminent, remortgage in limbo for tiresome reasons but VV STRESSFUL to be waiting over the bank holiday, and money is tight (I am freelance and no payments fall due this month).

I am perimenopausal, mid-period and insomniac, can't afford badly needed haircut, and have been comfort eating and look dreadful. A long walk really helps me but I couldn't go today because I had too many other urgent things on.

People keep needing responses from me and I can't bear it. A message from a friend doesn't even feel good any more; it just feels like another stone added to the load of things I need to respond to.

DC (one with ADHD and dyspraxia, one not) are lovely but seem determined to interrupt me every.three.minutes when I dare to try and take ten minutes to myself to concentrate. The only thing that absorbs them is screens and I hate that they are on them so much.

Ahhhh the guilt and the utter fucking impossibility of meeting everyone's needs

Well I feel like I might be you so sending solidarity!! I.get overwhelmed and it's horrible.

It helps me to think I can only do what I can do
That sometimes doing something like going for a walk is worth prioritising as it will clear your head, give you energy and make you more efficient.
I've stopped apologising for the state of my house and replaced it with - this is as good as it gets
Screens won't kill them
Or thinking of the enormity of the university and how insignificant I am in perspective....

Totally sympathise. Having an overwhelm day here too

Nothing but sympathy from me. I too have been feeling completely overwhelmed recently and I totally get the message from a friend thing being just something else to add to an already ridiculous to-do list .

I hear you loud and clear.

I suggest secret stashes of chocolate in your glove box and change bag... My vurrebt strategy.

I get where you are coming from! I have so many conflicting deadlines at work just now and zero support, a difficult child and my house seems out of control yet I have no energy to put towards any of it! Also peri-meno and struggling with it. I have developed a weird anxiety about driving up hills (????) and find it rather limiting.
No advice OP, just sympathy.

Lists.

Realising I’m not responsible for everything

Asking for help

Dropping the stuff that doesn’t matter for a few weeks

I totally get this. There are moments (days/weeks/months) that I want to scream at people DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT I'VE GOT TO DEAL WITH?!! Or I just want to hide from everyone, forever. I have found slow running really helps, great endorphins, not too onerous on the body. Any kind of regular exercise really. And asking for help. Its really tough but keep going, one small step at a time. Most of these things will pass.

Tell the relatives you all have Noro for a start.
What work deadline falls over a BH weekend?
Go for your walk-the world will not cave in if you do .
Have a nice coffee when you get back.
Pay kids to do jobs

we have al been there.
I find a mental "reset" really helps.
So go for that walk

Reflecting the solidarity right back to everyone

I feel weird about having posted this but it definitely helped to write it down. I really did have a cry and also a nosebleed, how lovely and that helped too. Then opened some wine and tackled a difficult work email that couldn’t wait and then switched off the laptop, ALL the way off, and watched escapist television with dd on my bed.

Have “booked” myself time for a long walk on my own tomorrow between DD’s gymnastics and other afternoon commitments.

So things are better than earlier and hopefully that’ll keep insomnia at bay.

Work is just never-ending at the moment. Freelance schedules do not respect bank holidays so I’m never really “off”. I need to enforce boundaries ... but as we all know, that is a challenge in itself.

Really do appreciate the replies

Its funny you mention your dc has ADHD as I have been looking into this for myself and I read that it can be hereditary. Taking on a lot of projects and becoming overwhelmed is common for adults with ADHD. Could you have some problems in this area yourself?

That’s interesting Tea.

I don’t think I have ADHD characteristics, or not the ones DS has, anyway. I’m naturally pretty well organised and have no trouble staying on task, when I’m not being constantly interrupted. Don’t miss appointments/deadlines.

I never used to be this overwhelmed, only since mixing freelance work and parenting. So I think the overload is probably more circumstances than personality.

I do have what I think of as dyspraxic traits, though. Poor spatial awareness/butterfingers, and I feel like I need to concentrate hard just to navigate the world. Can’t drive - I learned but was terrifyingly bad. I cope better when I have lots of alone time to process things. (Never get it though!)

MollysMummy2010 I’m intrigued by the hills thing. I hope it goes away, but I wonder why it’s getting to you - it’s so interestingly specific - did something trigger it?

Tooty your post has reminded me that there are chocolate-covered Oreos in the cupboard. 👀