To be upset about my sight loss

[rougebuterfly]

Due to domestic violence incident a few years my sight in one eye was affected slightly.

Over the years that followed it has gradually got worse and I no longer feel safe driving, so have to use public transport.

I found out last month after seeing a specialist eye consultant, that over 50% of my sight has gone and I could go blind if it carries on deteriorating at the rate it is. I have other appointments booked to get a final diagnosis.

I am in my late 30s and I am very upset about about this. I have tried to talk to friends but it but have been made to feel that it’s not a big deal and the can’t understand why I’m upset and depressed.

I just want to know AIBU?!

I’m sorry to hear this, you’re friends should be more supportive, I’m sure if it were happening to them they’d be upset and asking you for support.

Of course you're not U, OP.

My son lost the sight in one of his eyes as a young schoolboy, when
another boy punched him in the eye causing an internal haemorrhage.
That 'no big deal' attitude from friends and family was the same then.
It's soul destroying.

Get all the medical help you can OP - you need to be your own best
advocate from now on.

Of course you aren't being unreasonable!! Sight is precious... bet your friends wouldn't be so blase about it if they couldn't drive any more!

I have naturally very poor eyesight (very strong lenses) since I was a tiny child and it depresses me that they are still deteriorating in my 50s (and can't drive at night now)

Having said that people with one eye are legally allowed to drive, so are you sure it's completely out of the question with a bit of readjustment?

Your friends are not friends :(

People dont understand what it's like to lose one of the 5 senses until it happens to them.

I have a condition which threatens me with losing my sight at any time and its terrifying.

All I can suggest OP is to prepare yourself for the worst. It may seem hard but try and learn braille now and perhaps look into equipment and things that can help while you can still see. Get in touch with your local blind association and groups (they are for partially sighted too) as they can offer support and advice too.

I keep my fingers crossed for you that this is the worst it goes for you and wish you so much luck.

That's awful

I have poor eyesight so I can understand how you feel. Your "friends" are selfish arseholes. I'll be your friend.

I'm so sorry.

Maybe your friends just don't know how to process or how to react.

I hope very much that it doesn't deteriorate any more.

Im sorry to hear it...and your friends are not being supportive at all. Do you think they could be downplaying their reactions to try to make you feel less worried? Hoping for a positive result for you from the experts

YANBU.

You lost your sight because of DV.
Not disease or a genetic condition but because a person beat you. Thats not acceptable and I think thats why you are struggling.

I am so sorry this has happened to you and nothing I say can make you feel better.

Somehow you have to make peace with this otherwise it will suck the joy out of your life. He took one thing from you dont let him take anything else

You have every right to be upset. And the lack of sympathy around you is very bizarre.

I hope so much that you can move on from this in time. What a dreadful thing to happen.

Oh OP I'm so sorry. I'm very short sighted and I do worry about if my sight gets worse, it's definitely a big deal. Much sympathy from me and an unMNy hug

Thank you so much everyone for your kind and supportive words

I have a follow up appointment in July with the hospital:)

Is it just the one eye? If so it doesn't necessarily you can't drive - it may just need time to adjust. I, and many others, only have sight in one eye and drive.

It's a horrible thing to have happened though and I'm not surprised you feel upset.

People are weird. I found this in times of bereavement that people just pretend it hasn't happened and just want to natter on about what's on telly that night. This IS a bereavement imo, not of a person but your life is going to change a hell of a lot and I for one am incredibly sorry for your loss. Can you afford counselling to have a friendly but distant ear to unload on? My sight was awful but had ops to correct it which was lucky for me but I am very aware sight is a gift.

You need new friends. If someone told me they were losing their sight, for whatever reason, I would devastated for them. I'd also be looking for someway of being able to support them them in the future as well.

You are entitled to feel grief about this, both from the angle of losing your sight and also that it happened to you because of domestic violence. You have been through a lot, and you did not deserve this.

I have very poor vision - I am short sighted to the point I am almost disabled by it (in double figures) and a year ago I had a surge of black floaters develop that haven’t gone away. I was referred to an eye clinic and they found that I had a very rare eye disorder. Long term it does really worry me that it will get worse. I broke down and cried inconsolably in the eye hospital and I was very depressed for a long time afterwards.

Now I just try to make the most of each day, as cheesy as that sounds. I don’t know how long I’ll have the vision that I have now for, so I read lots, watch lots and look for things on walks. It’s made me appreciate things even more. Obviously I wish I had good vision and never had to think like this!

In time you might be able to drive if you still have one good eye. Some people do.

@TipseyTorvey I have just started private counselling with an amazing therapist, but it’s very expensive and I’m limited to the amount of sessions I can I have due to this.

I am a very stoic person, and for me to say I’m upset about something to someone is very rare especially when it relates to my DV injures. I guess it’s because it’s not a disability or condition they can see, they forget.

I think it’s time to get new friends!!!

@helpfulperson it is just one eye, but I feel that as I’m still adjusting that I don’t feel safe behind the wheel

@Fairylea sending you a big hug