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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how to shut out all the noise in your head?

29 replies

eightyseven · 02/05/2019 07:57

I feel my head is going at 100 miles an hour with a gazillion thoughts. I want it to be quiet and calm in there. I'm anxious and on edge and want to know how I can relax and be calm.

What can I do to help me? I thought mindfulness was my answer but just not finding its making any difference at all.

OP posts:
billybagpuss · 02/05/2019 08:00

Outdoor swimming works for me, Sometimes it’s the only time my head shuts up. It’s also now getting scientific interest as is starting to be proven to work.

ChloeR81 · 02/05/2019 08:01

Morning! This is absolutely me as well, very stressful time for me at the moment so would love some more tips on this!

Things I find help me:

  • going for a walk (try and build it into my day wherever possible)
  • getting into nature- walk in the woods, on the coast
  • reading fiction, to escape into another world
  • spending time with friends
ChloeR81 · 02/05/2019 08:03

billybagpuss, that’s really interesting...I’ve heard that having that feeling of being ‘small in a very large space’ is really important to human mental health (eg standing in a vast vaulted cathedral, looking out to sea etc) so I wonder if outdoor swimming has that element to it...

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 02/05/2019 08:04

I find guided meditation helps. I have to focus on the voice and my breathing rather than my mind wandering off to the 40 million things I have rattling around in my brain.

NotMaryWhitehouse · 02/05/2019 08:06

Do you have a garden? I find digging helps me relax and clears the mind a bit of all the junk. Also a walk in the woods, as PP says.

foreverhanging · 02/05/2019 08:07

I put my phone in another room. I find it worse when I look at things on my phone.

Treaclepie19 · 02/05/2019 08:07

Reading and zumba!

fruitpastille · 02/05/2019 08:09

Exercise, reading and piano practise.

lrh3891 · 02/05/2019 08:09

I was wondering about this just the other day. I went for a massage, I thought it was going to be just what I needed to really chill out and relax but I couldn't enjoy it because I spent an entire hour with my mind just racing. I could not make it stop!!

I agree that putting the phone down is probably really key (she says, from her phone).

Reading fiction helps, as does the gym.

PrincessTiggerlily · 02/05/2019 08:10

A walk of an hour. First 20 mins mind buzzes, second 20 mins, pleasanter ideas intrude, third felling happier and still thinking but calmly.
Ditto 40 minute meditation , it's quite a while but I find it needs to be that long to get to the quiet phases.

Disfordarkchocolate · 02/05/2019 08:11

I've started using the Calm app and found it really useful for this. Apart from that I listen to audiobooks and bounce on my mini trampoline. Good luck.

MindDisco · 02/05/2019 08:12

My head used to be super busy all the time with work and also all the mental load of a household. I found I was constantly remembering all these jobs I had to do and deadlines and dates and none of it really needed my attention in that second but I was constantly aware of it.

So I put it all down in an app with reminders, so I will get reminded in time about a job, but in the meantime I don't need to do it or think about it. I also relinquished control of lots of jobs to other people to share the load.

I'm so much more calm now.

ArabellaPilkington · 02/05/2019 08:19

Nothing for me beats gardening. The feel of the soil, the sun, the sound of the birds, the smell of the loam. Nothing like it!

DocusDiplo · 02/05/2019 08:21

Pills Smile

Vitalogy · 02/05/2019 08:25

Listen to the silence.

Bringbackthestripes · 02/05/2019 08:28

I know you said mindfulness isn’t helping but it takes practice. Even 5 mins a day helps. Have you tried this?

simplehabit.com/

It is natural for thoughts to wander and takes practice to re focus but I have started -finally-to quieten my head. It is a relief!

Kelsoooo · 02/05/2019 08:29

Same as PP, just pills for me.

Normal life stressors, fine they can be done away with with apps etc.

But when it's my mental illness, and I'm bouncing off on tangents and ending up down a path with one eyed unicorn snot balls I know I'm knee deep in an oncoming crash....and the only thing that stops it, is the pills.

The rest helps, it soothes, it focusses, it distracts, but I need the pills to give me a playing field more akin to the more "normal" mind.

Anerak · 02/05/2019 08:30

Coaching from an ICF accredited coach. Can help you gain clarity of your thoughts.

Summersunsareglowing · 02/05/2019 08:37

If you are able to concentrate I suggest you try reading. You can only think one thing at exactly the same time so if you throw yourself into a book, of the genre you enjoy, you will displace any intrusive thoughts you have by the words of the book.

I also lose myself totally when gardening and forget everything. Could you try this if you have a garden?

chocolateaddiction · 02/05/2019 08:38

The Headspace app is designed for this job x

IAmNotAWitch · 02/05/2019 08:39

I go scuba diving. All quiet in there except what I am looking at and how long I have air for. Bliss.

LittleKitty1985 · 02/05/2019 08:44

Wine! Wine

PortiaCastis · 02/05/2019 08:48

Try doing the five things technique it works for me.
So I have to look round the room I'm in and find
Five things I can see then describe them to myself in detail
Five things I can hear i.e. traffic outside, a tv, a kettle etc etc
Five things I can smell that's the difficult one as cannot always find 5 but by trying it does take my mind from other thoughts
Five things I can touch, interesting as the object is to find different textures in a room i.e sofa window furniture etc

Not saying these will work for you but I found them useful to take my mind from stressy stuff.

Another thing to do is try to recite the 50 United States in alphabetical order to yourself. Great if you can remember as very useful in quizzes

Kko1986 · 02/05/2019 08:52

Hi
I had a breakdown and although fully recovered now I am on a very low dose of citalopran it's for anxiety and it does help my mind to calm. It's not for everyone but medical assistance can help xx

EmeraldShamrock · 02/05/2019 08:55

Brisk walk and the headspace app. There is nothing like a morning walk, the headspace allows you set your targets for trigger prevention.