Please tell me about your easier second labours

[Pepperwand]

I'm currently pregnant with baby number 2 and am thinking about labour and birth. I didn't have a great time first time round as my son was back to back and I ended up with an epidural and assisted delivery after a long and exhausting labour. I've been looking into techniques to help me stay calm this time around and focusing on the fact that lots of people have said birth was better the second time around. Please could I selfishly ask for you to put my mind at rest and tell me it'll all be fine?

My second was so different. With my first I had PROM, a long labour and drip induction, assisted delivery, PPH, had all the drugs and a generally crappy time.

My second I didn’t realise I was in labour until very late on, was reading a bedtime story to my toddler during contractions and was nearly fully dilated by the time I got to hospital. Gas and air didn’t really do much but the pain was bearable. I got in the pool and felt such relief. I literally could feel nothing. Then a few pushes later my baby was out.

If I hadn’t had such different experiences I would never have imagined how different the degree of pain could be. My second one made me realise that there is a huge element of luck. I did hypnobirthing with both labours and didn’t do anything different but the second one was so much easier.

First labour 44 hours. Horrific. Induced/failed epidural/pre-eclampsia/baby reduced heart rate/forceps. 44 stitches to put me back together. Long recovery.

Second labour. 4 hours start to finish. Forceps delivery and spinal block but so much quicker. Home same day.

Good luck and don't worry!! Just like every child is different, every labour is different.

First was 4.5 days of no sleep and painful contractions, not a textbook labour. Second - woke up contracting 3 in 10 and had the baby 11 hours later in the pool. I hope your second time round is easier.

1st labour 11 hours, back to back, no anaesthetist available for the epidural I begged for, baby got stuck, needed an episiotomy but thankfully managed to avoid a c section, felt like I’d been hit by a truck for months. And the fanny full of stitches didn’t help me not wish I was dead.

2nd time around labour seemed to slow down as soon as I got to the hospital and they told me I was in for a long night of nothing happening. Partner was sent home. Baby was born within the hour, 7 minutes after my waters went. Tiny tear that didn’t need stitches and barely hurt at all and I was back doing the nursery run the eldest the day after which was a mile walk each way.

You honestly don’t know what you’ll get.

DS1 I woke up with contractions at 9am, waters broke at 4.30pm. Was 10cm dilated and pushing by 8.30pm. He was back to back and got stuck, his heart rate tumbled so I had an episiotomy, poor baby came out purple and not breathing, was resuscitated. He was born at 1.30am so I pushed for 5 hours on just gas and air. I can’t remember the exact figure but I lost quite a bit of blood. they decided not to do a transfusion in the end, but I felt like I’d been hit by a bus for several weeks. Episiotomy stitches broke down on day 5 and took 3 months to heal.

I was induced at 39 weeks with DS2 due to cholestasis. It took awhile to get going but I remember going to Costa for a coffee and cake at 5pm, mild contractions. Got back to the ward at 6pm, waters broke 6.30pm, I was 2cm dilated. Dilated very quickly and baby born at 7.17pm. First degree tear, no stitches and felt right as rain after 2 weeks. A much more pleasurable experience!

Well, mine was a very easy labour the second time round. 4 hours total, from first contraction to her coming out, no pain relief needed, no stitches, just a small graze that healed in no time at all. Easy peasy!

First labour back to back, 36 hours ended in theatre with episiotomy forceps and ventouse.

Second labour 12 weeks ago was 3 hours all in with a 4 minute second stage.

1st - 24 hour back to back, badly flexed horror.
2nd - 3 hours start to finish, and relatively pain-free.

DD2 arrived on her due date. At 5pm I was at my parents happily eating Sunday lunch with no indication of an imminent arrival. By 9.30pm she was born. She nearly arrived in the lift on the way up to the maternity unit. She arrived perfectly. No tears, or injury.

Good Luck. 😊

1st labour was 36hrs and every intervention possible. Very traumatic. Was understandably very anxious about second labour so attended a taster hypnobirthing session and did some reading about it. I didn't complete the hypnobirthing course because the woman really irritated me. Her attitude seemed to be that if you had a bad labour you simply weren't trying hard enough.

2nd Labour was a breeze. Still painful but over in 4 hours and actually being able to give birth to my baby in a pool and catch her myself was amazing. The experience has almost made me totally forget the trauma of the first. If they were all like that I'd do it a million times.

There is a primal fear and panic when it's all going wrong, baby isn't following your plan and you are having stuff done to you that you are too tired, in pain or drugged up to understand. And that however zen you are there comes a point after hours of pain that you just can't cope anymore and need more help/intervention and there is nothing wrong with that.

It's all down to luck whether your baby is going to come out nicely our with difficulty and you have very little control over that.

All I have learned is that both times there was a point during transition where I felt a total loss of control and panic. However second time I was mentally prepared for this and it was over very quickly. This was just due to luck of baby being positioned perfectly. Fingers crossed for you.

DS 1: Induced with 9 hour labour

DS 2: Waters break, admitted to hospital due to risk of infection. No contractions for 2 days. Then went into labour (born within 1 hour). Nurses didnt believe I was in active labour. Ended up having to race me around to birthing suite where I had my son in less than 2 minutes after moving beds.

1st - 36 hours, back to back, copious amounts of gas and air, induced via drip, 3rd degree tear.

2nd - 3 hours, no pain relief, I tore and had to have an episiotomy (but that’s just my anatomy it seems).

I think I was more relaxed the second time as I had a difficult time the first time, my coping mechanism was I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again.

DS1 just like yours, back to back, epidural and foreceps, 17 1/2 hours labour in hospital. Post partum bleed.

DS2 was a home birth. I know if I had been in hospital I would probably have given in to drugs again when the contractions got strong but I wanted to stay home so knew I had to get on with it. I laboured mainly on my hands and knees and gave birth in that position - total of 5 1/2 hours from first twinge to birth. Even though my third birth only took 45 minutes my second was definitely my best experience.

My second labour was lovely after a traumatic one the first time. With DS2 I went to hospital for reduced movement and his heart rate dipped so they decided to induce me the next day when I turned 39 weeks but wanted to keep me in overnight. I was waiting to be taken up to a ward and went into labour myself, less than two hours from first contraction he was born. It was so calm and relaxed and I only needed gas and air after I was 8cm. I was honestly a lovely experience and I really hope you are as lucky.

1st labour wasn't massively long (about 9 hours total but was back to back, had episiotomy ready for ventouse but luckily came out after being cut so need need for ventouse, recovery was hard though and walking difficult for a few days.
2nd labour was a huge shock, thought it was just starting and within an hour she was born, just made it to the hospital into the labour room and she was born within 2 pushes and only a small tear (no stitches needed). Recovery was very easy was walking around straight away

Unfortunately I didn't manage a natural birth with DC2 (no 1 was a classic induction-obstructed labour-failure to progress followed by EMCS under GA; couldn't find the way out, basically). But the ELCS I had second time round was a completely different experience, and I was up and about (carefully!) in 24 hours.

Dc1 - in hospital for nearly 48 hours, pain meds, lots of panicking and sickness on my part.

Dc2 - managed to stay calm and breath my way through most of my labour due to being home alone with Dc1 in bed and having no choice but to stay calm. When pains got intense rang dp to come home from work and take me to the hospital, was there 30 minutes and Ds was born with 2 pushes, no pain meds. Literally had 5 min skin to skin, then went and enjoyed a nice hot shower. Would of happily got us both ready and went home within the hour.

1st twelve hours back to back baby small no so major dramas
2nd 2.5 hours from start to her being born back to back again
3rd 10 hours back to back birthing chair birth no major dramas
all my children were just under 6lbs so dont know if scenarios would have been the same with bigger babies

I did LOADS of very empowering research for DS2 and insisted on not being internally examined or having one of those belt things round me. I had a water birth so no one was staring at my bits during birth and it was very private. I had him under the water and lifted him up myself. I didn't have the injection in the thigh and expelled the placenta naturally into the water later, at which point his cord was cut.

It was peaceful, natural. I had a bit of gas and but It couldn't have been more different to the first time round.

I am not a hippy type AT ALL, just wanted to be in control that time and listen to my body. Essentially I wasn't FRIGHTENED by it all like the first time.

1st baby very much like you, epidural, forceps and episiotomy. Roughly 12 hours or so of contraction and unexplained bleeding.

2nd baby, 6 hours from first contractions to delivery. Gas and Air and paracetamol for pain relief. Minor tear and a couple of stitches. I think I pushed 3 times in total.

both my boys were 2 weeks overdue
1st labour was 4 hours no intervention 9lb 7oz
2nd labour was 35 mins only just made it to the delivery room! 9lb 4oz
(I am only 5ft 3 and at the time weighed 6 !/2 stone ... rather big boys lol)

Ds1’s birth, other than the fact that we both survived it couldn’t have gone much worse. I was induced as he stopped moving, had incredibly painful contractions straight away and was in agony by 3cm dilated. Had an epidural, long labour. Got to 10cm, pushing for 1 hour and no progress. Waited 1 hr to be transferred to theatre. Theatre team called to another emergency so was left waiting. Ds’s heartbeat dropped and they came back to deliver him by forceps. Had an episiotomy and tearing. I then lost 2 litres of blood, went into shock and almost died. I ended up with ptsd after that. (Recovered now with cbt)

Understandably was very, very nervous about giving birth again. Ds2’s birth could not have been more different. Went in for a sweep and my waters broke. I was already 4cm. Labour was 1.5 hours. Painful but quick. The birth itself was very easy. He came out in 2 pushes. No blood loss and no complications. I felt euphoric after he was born. It was such a relief to have it over and done with. In a way it was cathartic to experience a good birth and in another way it brought back how awful ds1s birth was in contrast so I had some complicated feelings to deal with about it.

I hope you have a much easier second birth