Chores during exams

[avenueq]

Do you still expect your children to do chores while they are doing their GCSE's/A levels?

For context, I have one dd in year 13 and one in year 11 and they are insufferable brats at the moment and I'm torn between letting them get away with it because of stress or getting really annoyed.

Yes. Because funnily enough I still have to do 'chores' on top of my 65 hour working week...

It won't kill them. I'm assuming this is them suggesting exams are a reason to not do anything else?

I teach A level and GCSE. And I am pretty stressed right now...yet I managed to be out the house for 11 hours today, come home, cook tea, feed and walk the dog, put a wash on and a wash in the dryer. I have sat and marked A level essays and GCSE practise questions from 7-9pm and I'm just about to fall into bed before basically getting up and doing the whole thing again.

My Y13s on the other hand probably had 2 lessons today. And have sat on their phones, with their mates in the common room for the other 4 hours they were in school, with an hour off at lunch to wander into town. Based on the essays I marked they aren't killing themselves with overwork in an evening and therefore could manage to unload a dishwasher and be civil to their mothers!

I think if they are normally pleasant I would cut them some slack. My normally fairly pleasant and helpful son had a much shorter fuse during A levels. A member of staff mentioned to dh in passing that the whole year were rather stressed, and we realised it wasn’t just ours being a little sod. With ds2 we are adapting slightly to avoid the stress affecting everyone. Doesn’t mean he gets to do nothing around the house but I am picking my time to ask him.

No I don’t because I’ve been really impressed and surprised if I’m honest at how hard he’s worked. He’s out of the house at 7 and not usually home until nearly 6 (school day begins at 8.30, finishes at 4,30, an independent, they really work them and he has an hour’s travel each way on public transport. Bathes, eats and sets to for another couple of hours each night.
That’s enough for now. Normality will resume mid-June, when he’ll start a part time job too.

They still have to do their regular chores, because the house still has to keep running, and sometimes the exam candidate is the only one there to do that job at that time (e.g. if everyone else is at work or at school late).

If they were to run out of clean uniform or we were to run out of clean dishes then it would impact them as much as anyone else.

On the other hand, I do try to keep things as peaceful as possible during exam periods, and keep nagging conflict to a minimum.

In other words, it's a fine balance.

Next summer (one revising for university exams, one doing A-levels, two doing GCSEs) the balance may be something I aspire to rather than something I achieve in reality.

Nope. Exams are hard enough. These are Irish exams though and the timetable for them is very heavy. I'm not sure of the time frames for other exams.

Sorry for dripfeeding but today I asked them to pick up two things from the shop on their way home from school, apparently that was too much

No reason for them to not pick things up from the shop. Millions of women manage to work and run a house as well. The world doesn't stop for you because you are stressed or busy. Tell them to pull their socks up. It's part of growing up.

If you were working and studying you'd probably get leave for the exams.

I didn't expect my DS to do chores as I wanted him to focus on revising and his exams. But he did have a revision timetable he was expected to stick to. In between revising I encouraged him to get out and away from a screen. The revision and exam period for GCSEs and A levels is very intense.

Getting out for a walk or something is more important than chores at exam time.

No so do t ask mine (16) to do anything round the house. He’s working really hard and coping well so that’s enough for me. He would get something from the shop for me though if he was passing.

I've cut all mine a bit of slack during exam season.
Fortunately my dc are 3 school years apart, so I've not have the fairly typical scenario of one doing GCSEs whilst one does A-levels.

It's not really that much for me to do for them.
I let dh off cooking when he is busy at work. He lets me off stuff when I am busy at work.
It's called working together as a family - offering a bit of support when you can.

I'm a teacher, though my dd is still a baby. I would reduce the chores because it is a very stressful time, but picking things up from the shop seems totally reasonable. Might it be worth talking through with them what still needs to be done and what can wait? It might help them to realise what you are letting go and why they still need to do some things.

They are expected to do chores here. It's not a lot and they get a fridge full of snacks and food for studying so think it's worth it.