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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Wish I Could 'Snap' Half the Planet's Males Out of Existence?

27 replies

MitziK · 30/04/2019 19:42

To avoid dripfeeding, my brother died last Tuesday following an accident.

In addition to that, I'm being made redundant, DP has only got a short term ZHC contract starting in a couple of weeks, the washing machine has packed up and I'm chronically sleep deprived at the best of times.

And I'm mentally unpacking the abusive family dynamics that were in full force whilst DB was in hospital. He was the only one who ever seemed to like me and, as part of this, his ASD and love for comic books, he passed that on to me. He would take me to see every single superhero movie as soon as it came out, buy me comics, completely ignore the other family members telling him he shouldn't do it because I was a girl and, despite his small size and timid nature, would do what he could to try to protect me as much as possible.

My last words to him as he was taken to Theatre for organ donation (his wishes since the 1970s) were 'Go on, be a hero'.

Anyhow, I'm sad that he missed the release of Avengers Endgame, as he would have been there as soon as he could to watch it. So I wanted to go and see it properly, just as I would have done with him (no snacks after the trailers, sit in the back 2 or 3 rows in the middle for the best vision and audio, do not talk and do not leave your seat under any circumstances other than fire, death or the end of the credits). DP came with me (it's not his thing, but he understands why it's important to me).

Watched the film, some bits were especially intense for me, but I'm glad I saw it. Decided I wanted a pint afterwards, so we started walking, not holding hands or talking because, to be frank, I was needing to hold it together for a bit longer, so we probably didn't look like we were a couple.

And then three men decided to start catcalling and saying revolting things about my arse as I walked past. I usually ignore it unless it becomes an active threat/they become aggressive, where I take evasive action.

Bless DP, when he saw my scrunch my hand into a fist and mutter 'can I kill them?' he did rely 'if you like', but I didn't, I just kept walking with their vocal enjoyment of my glutes ringing in my ears. I didn't need that. Not today. Not ever, really, but had they actually followed me down the street today, as happens all too frequently, I have the feeling that I really might have swung for them. And enjoyed it.

I'm sick of this. I've had it for over 30 years. Filth and scum like those get to live and laugh and make women feel vulnerable (or in my case, borderline psychopathic) whilst good men who wouldn't have dreamed of even having those attitudes in the first place, never mind express them, don't.

They pollute our media with the commodification of female bodies, they make women second guess their body language, their clothes, their appearance, their existence. They objectify children and middleaged women alike. They pollute the minds of boys into repeating the same attitudes.

At this moment in time, I would be completely 'meh' if they ceased to exist. Oh well, the world's a better place without them, bye.

I'm tired of this.

OP posts:
PotholePalace · 30/04/2019 19:49

Flowers There are times when I feel the same, but then we'd lose the good ones like your brother and dp.

PotholePalace · 30/04/2019 19:52

My son won't let us eat cinema snacks until the film has started.

JaneDoe8000 · 30/04/2019 19:54

I don't buy into your anti-male nonsense one bit. And it's a bit much to state half of the world's male population deserve to not live.

Imagine if a man posted he wanted half of the planet's females to disappear, feminists on here would have a nervous breakdown.

HBStowe · 30/04/2019 19:55

YANBU at all. I’m so sorry about your brother, and I hope you’re ok Flowers

PigWhisperer · 30/04/2019 19:58

Your brother sounds fab, I am so sorry he wasn't with you to watch the film. I hope he saved lots of lives.

PigWhisperer · 30/04/2019 20:02

After my father died unexpectedly I had similar feelings. About pathetic excuses for men, then for bad people generally and also, finally, at the whole world that had the audacity to keep spinning when my life seemed to be paused. How dare people carry on with their lives - my father had died!

Eventually, I got some help from Cruse.

redexpat · 30/04/2019 20:03

I know in my head that not all men are like this, but enough of them are to have this effect on lots of women. So I understand where you're coming from.

Really sorry about your brother Flowers

Do you have a cape and a mask? Smile

MitziK · 30/04/2019 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Kokapetl · 30/04/2019 20:07

I felt the same after losing a close relative. It's hard not to think "why do you get to be alive when he doesn't".

Sorry for your loss.

peanut2017 · 30/04/2019 20:10

@JaneDoe8000 steady on there and show some empathy and compassion to @MitziK who has just lost her brother and is going through a really shit time at the moment

She is correct in what she is saying in regards to the abhorrent treatment of women by you guessed it - mainly men. It's a fact

aprarl · 30/04/2019 20:12

I'll join you in that hearty "fuck off" OP, what a shitty fucking reply from a shitty person.

I also feel the same way about those type of men. The world would be a better place without them.

Regardless of them though, your brother sounds like he was such an awesome man, and I'm so sorry for your loss Thanks

ILiveInSalemsLot · 30/04/2019 20:13

Sorry for your loss. Your brother definitely sounds like a hero.

I felt similar when a close relative died but I take comfort now knowing what a privilege it was to have someone that amazing close to me rather than a horrible person.
It took a while for the anger and resentment to go.
It’s part of the grief process. Take care of yourself.

MitziK · 30/04/2019 20:17

Would MN like to delete the other post as well, please? Seeing as I can't actually zap misogynists wailing 'what about da menz, you're sooo prejudiced? Feminists are mean' myself?

OP posts:
specterlitt · 30/04/2019 20:22

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Your anger is justified, and so is your hurt. Please do not let the actions of the insignificant idiots take up anymore of your time, they are not worth it.

Focus on the happy times you shared and things that will bring you some calm, peace and joy. That is what you need right now.

I hope things do begin to get better for you, I really do. I'm very aware of the "when it rains, it pours", but here's hoping for both of us and those who are also suffering, we all are able to find some happiness soon.

My love to you and your family, continue to make your brother proud.

NottonightJosepheen · 30/04/2019 20:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Armadillostoes · 30/04/2019 20:26

JaneDoe-did you read or understand the OP? Why be so nasty to someone who is recently bereaved and has had a rough day? No need.

PlinkPlink · 30/04/2019 20:27

What an awful thing to happen to you during such an emotional time. I'm so sorry. Your brother truly is a hero for doing what he did.

Be like The Black Widow and kick their arses (mentally I mean, haha)

Or my fave, Jean Grey, kickass and incredibly powerful. You could tear them in half with her powers, mentally disintegrate them.

We have a huge battle ahead before we eradicate such blatant displays of misogyny. But I hope in the future, it can happen.

JacquesHammer · 30/04/2019 20:27

Well JaneDoe8000 is a bit of a wazzock aren’t they? What a cuntish response.

OP Flowers I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t blame the way you feel one bit

BurleyBob47 · 30/04/2019 20:31

Why can't we introduce a proper anti-harrasment law like the French?
www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-48104247

ChiaraRimini · 30/04/2019 20:40

Wankers.
I get it, OP.
Thanks

Littletabbyocelot · 30/04/2019 20:40

I'm so sorry for your loss, I can imagine watching the film (while important) was incredibly raw. I think your reaction is so understandable and under the circumstances I'm impressed you didn't scream at them.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 30/04/2019 20:53

I don't buy into your anti-male nonsense one bit. And it's a bit much to state half of the world's male population deserve to not live.

Imagine if a man posted he wanted half of the planet's females to disappear, feminists on here would have a nervous breakdown

Firstly I’m sorry for your loss OP. And I am glad you have someone to support you in your bereavement.

However I have to admit I agree with the above. Some men behave atrociously, however they are few and far between and cannot be lumped with half the male population.

My male cousin is constantly subjected to unwarranted hyena calls (as he calls them) last week collected glasses in a bar, he was licked Hmm assaulted (female grabbed his penis) and had his arse slapped more time than he can remember... he reported it to his superiors and they laughed at him for speaking up and complaining Angry

He and I don’t wish to “snap” the female population in half, just because of a few atrociously behaved females.

MitziK · 30/04/2019 20:57

Try asking him again in thirty years of it being an almost daily occurrence for simply walking in public and see how he feels then.

OP posts:
kalinkafoxtrot45 · 30/04/2019 21:02

I’m so sorry for your loss, love.

And it seems a huge injustice that good guys like your DB are taken, and idiots like the men who harassed you just carry on doing their stupid thing.

I get where you’re at, OP, I have just suffered a bereavement myself and it leaves you feeling you’ve a skin too few when facing the ignorant ones in this world. I have been overwhelmed by the gentle kindness given by some complete strangers, too.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 30/04/2019 21:06

I get daily wolf calls, and unwarranted attention due to my appearance, I’ve also been raped, and was abused physically by my father emotionally and physically.

I still don’t believe half the men in the world need to disappear.

The actions of one or a few men does not equate to half the male population.

My MALE cousin abuse was sweeped under the carpet and his abuse minimised simply because he’s a male!!! like you have just done

If this was done to a female, the outcome would highly and likely be different.