To think this is fine to talk about in a work email

[SandAndSeals]

I’ve NC as this is potentially outing.

An awareness email went out to colleagues about the menopause. Is the email, it lists the symptoms inc. hot flushes, low mood etc and also ‘vaginal dryness and reduced sex drive’.

My colleague has put a complaint email in about it as they don’t think it’s appropriate to mention vaginal dryness is a workplace email. However I disagree. It’s a common symptom and should be listed in an awareness article. You would take out ‘difficulty holding an erection’ when discussing prostate cancer, for example.

The Health team send out other emails about out conditions and illnesses depending on what’s being asked for. I’m in the Women’s Network so I know that menopause info has been asked for.

What do you think? AIBU or is she?

@PCohle

Excellent straw man. Well constructed. Noone said all women must feel the same.

I'm intrigued as to how not having people provide information in general terms, not specific to you, is somehow your personal right.

I think we need to understand better why some people think it's unacceptable and address that. But some people disliking it should be taken into account, not used as a reason to put a stop on the whole policy.
And it's indicative of the problem where women's health issues are considered unimportant, icky, not to be mentioned ever. Which is the whole reason awareness programmes are important.

I'm not sure what part of my post you think was a straw man? I'm talking about how at least one woman actually working in OP's workplace actually feels.

Many women on this thread have shared that having their colleagues' attention drawn to vaginal dryness in a professional environment would make them feel exposed and self conscious. Just because you don't think that view is valid doesn't mean it's ok to steamroll those women's concerns in the interests of "awareness".

NC for this.

OP, I have mixed feelings about whether your colleague was BU due to the communication used.

It is crucial however that large employers have a menopause policy as the menopause will directly impact on their female workforce to a greater or lesser extent. Other health conditions are not inevitable.

I say this because I have vaginal atrophy and it does impact on my ability to do my job. I am a healthcare professional, with a predominantly female workforce, caring for women’s issues. My vaginal issues were exacerbated by the workplace uniform I was required to wear and hours of walking, standing, squatting etc, and being able to access toilet breaks readily as the atrophy also affects my bladder.

I had to take an unpaid break to deal with the symptoms of my menopause because I did not feel, despite working with women in a caring sector, that my employer would be sensitive to my needs. My symptoms were not limited to the above and have been discussed elsewhere on this thread.

If there were a policy this would have helped me. I could have approached Occupational Health for reasonable adjustments. Information-sharing of symptoms via email, I’m not so sure… It would inform, yes, but personally I would have felt vulnerable in the workplace reading about these symptoms in an email, symptoms were which were out of my control, and negatively affecting my ability to do the job I loved, in black and white.

I am still in the role, but not now working clinically.

Can those of you querying why employers choose to have awareness campaigns not see that it contributes to employee engagement, and therefore can foster a sense of being heard, understood and thus increased well being, loyalty and commitment to the organisation? If I can see that my workplace is sensitive to issues affecting me that are not necessarily visible, I am more likely to feel comfortable disclosing why I may be struggling with certain things, and coming up with solutions to overcome them.if I don't know whether my employer is aware of the effects of the menopause for example, I might be too embarrassed as a 39 year old woman to say "my memory is not what it was, it's the menopause", but as the awareness campaigns signify that my employer isn't going to judge me harshly, and there is a policy to fall back on if I am not treated fairly, I am more confident that I can ask for more time or help with ways to overcome that issue.

Can those of you querying why employers choose to have awareness campaigns not see that it contributes to employee engagement, and therefore can foster a sense of being heard, understood and thus increased well being, loyalty and commitment to the organisation?

I think moral would greatly decrease and with it loyalty and commitment to the organisation if people thought their colleagues were considering how dry their vaginas were

What I don’t want is an email about a health condition that someone in my team may or may not have that just provides me with information I could have found on Google but doesn’t give me any bloody clues what sense I make of it in the workplace but gets my employer some big tick in their IIP box or welfare reporting box because they’ve provided me with ‘wellbeing’ information

Yes - information for information’s without practical application is a scourge of big corporates. As is a tick box mentality ✔️

I certainly don’t want those emails if it looks like it is targeting certain members of staff and making them feel uncomfortable because they think it is about them and their dry vagina and that because they’re 52 and female everybody else thinks it is about them too!

Agree with this too.

Speaking personally as a menopausal woman where the only symptom I was aware of was cessation of periods, I would feel perhaps slightly awkward wondering whether my male colleagues were contemplating my apparent mood swings, hot flushes, vaginal dryness etc.

I also don’t want to be defined by my periods, hormones, menopause etc!

I don't have a decreased sex drive heh heh heh, or any of that.

Not rtft but the Wales TUC have published guidance about the menopause in the workplace including a model policy. Might be worth having a look www.tuc.org.uk/sites/default/files/Menopause%20toolkit%20Eng%20FINAL.pdf

The more these things are talked about, the less embarrassment there'll be about them. All women go through the menopause; it's useful for those not yet reached it to know about and understand what the symptoms are, and all men need to know about this too.

Is your colleague older?

I don’t think it’s offensive & a complaint is ridiculous but it is a bit weird. Surely managers Male or female just need to understand (should job holder want them to know) that they may require more support & more breaks & to appreciate it’s difficult.

If I was managing someone & they let me know they were going through the menopause I’d ask them what they needed & otherwise leave them to it. I cannot think how I would do my job as line manager or colleague any differently for knowing about their vagina ??

You presumably have policies for mothers returning to work - does this include increasing the awareness of colleagues of the frequency & symptoms of mastitis ?

So no it’s not offensive but it is a bit bizarre.

It’s really not necessary to include this level of detail

Otherwise where do you draw the line with regards to all other intimate problems?...

I think it's a bloody brilliant email and initiative in the workplace. I have watched three colleagues go through menopause recently and really struggle with all sorts at work. They needed support from colleagues and friends and lucky they were women who were not afraid to "ask" for it. Good on your management I say.

I dont see why am i supposed to receive these awareness emails?? I dont want to be aware of my older collegues vaginal dryness... jesus why everything is getting shoved down our throats?? Why we have to accomodate every little condition etc -when the most basic empathy and communication skills are not seen anywhere anymore. People should stop feeling so self entitled and shove it down each person’s throats! If somebody menopausal feels they need soecial treatment surely they should go to the psychotherapist and learn to communicate that to the people who need to know about it - their manager, closest collegue etc. Sick of this awareness for everything and if its mandatory somewhere I want to leave!

I'm very much one who wants to keep any private issues private

I see one poster has organised a Menopause Policy at work in order to sort out issues that might be linked to sickness. So I presume that means that sickness would be treated like sickness in pregnancy?

Ironically, half the issue there is that employers are madly unrealistic about sickness absence in the first place.

If the Menopause Policy is just something in the staff handbook and you can get special exemption for medical appointments or issues then I can see that would be useful, yes.

but I can't see that newsletters listing the symptoms are any use at all without a policy in place. If anything it might make people think otherwise. My sister is one of these people who runs boiling hot all the time, so is our male cousin. They are both around the menopause age but neither are having it

so I can imagine being a c50 woman, flinging windows open, or wearing a short sleeve shirt when others are layering on jumpers and having people make assumptions.

does the Menopause Policy require a doctor's note with the accompanying hormone tests?

I have depression, anxiety, insomnia....I don't shout at people at work. I think if I did, I wouldn't really be able to blame my health. I'm able to work so I should be able to be professional?

I do sometimes say "I've had an hour's kip so I'm a bit slow today, sorry" but that's enough isn't it? my workplace don't know about the A&D diagnosis. I really resent how much workplaces like to know about their staff tbh.

I love this post. Menopause has been all over the radio and tv these last few weeks. I’m wondering if I can phone up Friday with a vaginal dryness day.

Joking aside I think it’s suddenly becoming more of a notable condition as we try to be everything to all and from what I see friends going through and how I feel it needs to be a recognised as I have seen the most organised, micro manager go from being super organised to not even being able to string a sentence together. It’s no excuse to be used but I get days of extreme rage where the slightest thing will make me cry or send me into a full sweary mess. Luckily I work in an environment where I’m not going to be pulled up for this but given the help or reduced stress that I need to get through without getting stabby.

The more my colleagues know the better!

Sorry, I work in a mental health setting AND I am a menopausal woman, and even I think this is completely inappropriate! Why on earth would anyone at work need to be thinking about my possible vaginal dryness or problem with libido? Unless I was a sex worker of course...

Sounds reasonable to me to have greater knowledge and information about something which is so important. Would people complain about Ramadan awareness circulars for example?

I have nay looked at the 1st 25 pages or so of the TUC Menopause document Lovely linked.

Now that document makes sense - ie targeted at trade union officials and how to protect rights in the workplace

(not nay, only!)

I have worked in a company where there has been a Women’s group and I completely understand the need to these emails as part of that culture. From the responses on here it’s clear that you are well ahead of your time! People still feel uncomfortable talking about the simple symptoms let alone vaginal dryness.

(and the TUC doc references "vaginal dryness, itching and discomfort" as a menopause symptom . - but unlike OP's random email, is a focussed and targeted document)

"Would people complain about Ramadan awareness circulars for example?"

yes.

I think constant use of newsletters/circulars risks people missing actual important info as well. It is important to say "spate of muggings in the area -- IMHO it is, and I really appreciate the security team alerting us to stuff like this.

but menopause, Ramadan, Easter, Christmas, Rosa might have had a really bad night's sleep and she can show you the Fitbit stats to prove it - nah, doesn't need to go on a staff circular.

I do try my best to ignore all those. I run a quick eye over them in case some plum has buried important info in there.

I'm menopausal and would be mortified if this email went out at work - I'd hate to think of people wondering whether I had a dry vagina! But we are a very small office so it'd be obvious whom this could apply to (about 3 of us).

Although it's a symptom it's not necessarily relevant to work although if men are made aware they might understand their wives better