To think this is fine to talk about in a work email

[SandAndSeals]

I’ve NC as this is potentially outing.

An awareness email went out to colleagues about the menopause. Is the email, it lists the symptoms inc. hot flushes, low mood etc and also ‘vaginal dryness and reduced sex drive’.

My colleague has put a complaint email in about it as they don’t think it’s appropriate to mention vaginal dryness is a workplace email. However I disagree. It’s a common symptom and should be listed in an awareness article. You would take out ‘difficulty holding an erection’ when discussing prostate cancer, for example.

The Health team send out other emails about out conditions and illnesses depending on what’s being asked for. I’m in the Women’s Network so I know that menopause info has been asked for.

What do you think? AIBU or is she?

I'd be astonished if she wanted the whole meeting to know she was standing because she had a sore fadge

Me too. Can you imagine?

Way behind with the thread. I dont think it's my employers place to send this shit out. If I want to find out about side effects of the menopause I'll continue going through it myself Google it thanks.

I find it bizarre that any workplace needs to send this kind of stuff out at all. Not because it's a womans issue but because it's not what my workplace is there for.

I think I've just recently started the perimemopause including vaginal dryness. I don't want my colleagues wondering whether I have a dry or moist vagina and whether it's itchy or not.
I imagine all women google 'menopause' when the time comes, so not sure why a work email is needed in any way. I was happy in my ignorance of menopausal symptoms (apart from knowing about hot flushes), pre-knowledge of dry, itchy vag is just one more thing to worry about.

I would have preferred a link to click on, though the reasons for the email seem valid in the particular place of work.

My concern would be if there are too many emails on health issues in general, such that people will not read them. Or if a general email on an issue is an alternative to tackling an individual's unacceptable comments or behaviour.

Also I think as we age we can sometimes struggle with being seen of as less sexually attractive, and maybe the 'reduced sex drive' and 'dry vagina' is a bit of a sore point (sorry for crap joke - I'm as immature as the immature blokes in the office).

So I think your colleague was NBU.

I don’t think there’s anything inappropriate about the words “vaginal dryness” although I can’t see the relevance in a work email.

I’d never actually complain, just roll my eyes and chalk it up to some woke millennial being let loose on the internal “email all” feature for the first time...

As a menopausal woman vaginal dryness is an important issue.If you've had it you'll know how uncomfortable it is,it is not just loss of lubrication during sex

?
To the degree your colleagues need to make allowances for it?

I would be very uncomfortable about this email OP. Something more appropriate would have been to link an information document via the benefits or health insurance intranet.

Christ, talk about internalizing your oppression! The reason people need to know the symptoms is so they can try to understand.

And yes, as a self employed woman over 50 I was let go after 20 years. I have no redress because I am self employed and employment law is no help.

If the woman had understood the symptoms I was experiencing she may have made allowances for what happened. As it was she was crying and complaining that I had shouted at her.

Just wait until you are over 50 and your workplace is looking for any excuse to get rid because you don't fit with the image any more. You'll see.

I don’t understand being let go after 20 years of self employment? How does that work?

I don’t understand being let go after 20 years of self employment? How does that work?

I don’t understand the shouting at a woman bit - was this a client?

As it was she was crying and complaining that I had shouted at her.

Bit different from raising your voice isn’t it?

The NHS are somewhat shortsighted in their description of vaginal dryness as a 'symptom'

A better description is that various membranes in the female body need oestrogen in order for them to work; not so you can have 'pain free sex' (btw if you did any reading at all, you would know lude isn't the answer, topical oestrogen is)

It's far more relevent that the urethral/bladder becomes irritated and that prolapse is more likely; rather than sex is uncomfy

Women are having to work for longer - I'll be 67 2/3rds when I can retire and some of you younger ones will be working forever until you are older than that; businesses need employees, as the working population is ageing

If menopause awareness is handled properly, women will work more effectively for longer

I have blundered into menopause believing what I read in womens magazines and to be honest, no hot flushes nor vaginal dryness have been my worst symptoms - for me depression and insomnia have been crippling & if I had been working I would have lost my job without question.....I'm starting to wonder if a 'menopause career break' might actually help some women while they get control of thier symptoms....and I'm only slightly tongue in cheek

No it was a full time member of staff.

I have worked for this company on a self employed basis for 20 years. Very common in my industry.

Frankly I don't understand it either. Sadly for me it's true.

If you were truly self employed and not a worker or employee under employment law (“false self employment”), then you’d had no job security at any time during those 20 years, unfortunately.

Ageism/sexism combined is a big thing, have observed it and heard about it from older colleagues.

KatyMac it was the depression & insomnia that did for me too.

Always bursting into tears at work, and losing my temper.

Then I discovered HRT and changed character completely. Too late to save my job though.

Do you work for the NHS OP?

I'd say signpost them to the intranet for full info or include a link to a useful website about symptoms. I wouldn't be comfortable if I worked with men and was menopausal knowing it quite likely I had vaginal dryness.

Loopy, yes I am aware I had no rights. I haven't said I thought I did.

My point is that a bit of awareness in the workplace is not a bad thing.

Oh Goody (Not). Another boring irrelevant hyper-over-wordy circular email to clog up my work day.

Pfffft. If it's ordinary for emails like this to go around at OP's work, and a previous one mentioned erectile dysfunction in the easily spotted headlines (or not easily avoided, anyway), then I can see OP's point in finding the complaint unreasonable.

I wish I was brave enough to follow Lucy Kellway's advice and refuse to read any circular emails ever.

Gosh how can people not find this info highly accessible already. Just type the symptoms or condition into a search engine & there are 2 million hits. Apply brains to choose the most credible web pages to read. It.Is.Not.Rocket.Science.

Movinghouseatlast, so you think employers should expect their menopausal staff to let them know they are menopausal and therefore may experience symptoms at some point. Then that employer should then let other members of staff know that you are menopausal so they can take into consideration any symptoms you may display or suffer from?

I still fail to understand what action employers that share “symptoms” of menopause with staff by email are expecting staff to do with that and what action they want as a result.

I’m pretty stunned you can’t see the relevance of discussing menopause in a workplace. I work in a male dominated public sector organisation and we have information on menopause available on the intranet and an online forum where people can discuss relevant information and discuss the issues impacting on their role. Certainly insomnia , brain fog, mood swings etc are symptoms which are likely to impact on how effective you are in your job. Do you not think supervisors need to be aware that they could be managing these problems in their staff. The issue of vagina dryness is simply an aside and does not represent the main issue... it just allows posters to make cutting little comments to diminish what the real issue is. Perhaps they haven’t had the pleasure of going through menopause yet or dealing with some male member of staff who doesn’t have the relevant knowledge or experience to spot a hot flush when it’s happening in front of him.

So Divebar as a late 40s woman should I let my boss know my periods are a bit irregular now and I suspect I’m peri-menopausal and possibly my memory is not quite what it used to be and occasionally I feel really bad tempered?

What kind of consideration am I expecting my boss to show me? What am I asking him to do? Should I be relieved of the more public facing aspects of my role in case I get a mood swing? Who will cover that aspect? Is it a permanent change to be made to my role given I’m not sure when those symptoms will end? Should those changes be recognised contractually and in terms of remuneration?

The issue of vagina dryness is simply an aside and does not represent the main issue... it just allows posters to make cutting little comments to diminish what the real issue is.

But the mention of vaginal dryness is the subject of the complaint and what the OP is asking if it was unreasonable to refer to.

Posters haven't picked up on it at random, it is the "real issue".

I'd rather be thought of as a ditz than "treat with care because must be suffering from menopause." FFS. Is nothing private any more?

If you are having obvious hot flushes, they will know you are going through the menopause anyway.