Help me word this - letting childminder go

[biggirlknickers]

I currently use two different childminders for wrap around care because neither of them were available on all the days I needed. Let’s call them childminder 1 and childminder 2.

Childminder 2 is preferred by my DC and is more convenient.

Childminder 1 is a little bit difficult at times. She has falling outs with people. She has sometimes made my DC feel uncomfortable with certain conversations (nothing really worrying, just involving them in her vendettas against others). She sees childminder 2 as her direct rival because they have the same client base and she thinks people in our (small) community like childminder 2 more than they like her and have shown more favour to childminder 2 while badmouthing childminder 1. These things may or may not be true - I honestly don’t know as I am far from being the centre of local gossip - but I do know that my DC prefer childminder 2 by a long way.

Now childminder 2 has offered me the days that she previously couldn’t do and I have said yes. Which means I have to tell childminder 1 I won’t be using her at all.

The worst part of all this is that I have known childminder 1 for quite a long time: she has been looking after my youngest since she was a baby (now 7) and we have been quite friendly too - our for drinks a couple of times, round for coffee, long chats etc. I like her and we get on. I just don’t find her the best childminder of the two, and neither do my DC.

How do I tell her?

She’s going to go nuclear on me isn’t she?

You just have to tell her straight - I’m giving you notice, the DC won’t be with you from X date, their other childminder has availability for all week and it works out better for me and the DC.

She sounds the type to possibly go nuclear but you can’t manage other people’s behaviour. She already sounds unprofessional and if she does go nuclear then that shows her up as even more so.

Tell her straight. Add in a bit about your gratitude and then frame the decision as a purely practical one based on logistics. You are not responsible for her reaction and itll blow over anyway.

Agreed. The only way to do it is to be straight - "Can I let you know I'll be giving notice for the dc to stop coming to you on x date. Childminder 1 has offered to cover the days I need and the dc would prefer to just have one childminder. We are very grateful for the care you have shown the dc over the years!"

‘I’m so grateful for all the work you have done with DC. Unfortunately it is at the point where I can’t have two separate child minders for the two DC. Therefore I have to give notice as CM2 is now available to take them both. Thank you so much and of course am happy to act as a reference. Our last day will be X’

Straight and factual. Don’t worry too much about it otherwise.

This is why business relationships and friendships shouldn't mix. Would you be friends with her if she didn't mind your DC? How much is it going to hurt if she cuts you out?

As for how you word it, I'd lean very much towards "more convenient now x can do all the days I need and DC will be more settled if they are only at one minder during the week" sort of line (although CM 1 may suddenly "discover" that she, too, can do the days you need... then you've just got to be terribly sorry but you've already signed the contract/paid in advance/gone firm on the arrangement with CM 2). Never, never hint at the bad stuff to her, but I'm sure you wouldn't anyway.