What do I do?

[TheBlueHen]

21 year old son who has never had a girlfriend met a girl last Thursday.

He's brought her home today whilst my partner and I were out without asking. They are currently in his bedroom.

It's my birthday and we are supposed to be going to dinner as a family tonight.

He asked on Saturday night if she could stay over.

This is new territory.

What do I do?

Has he actually asked if she can come to the birthday meal? Or are you just assuming that's what he wants?

If you don't feel comfortable with her coming to the meal, then just knock on the door, remind him that you need to go out in an hour (or whatever) and ask if the girlfriend needs a lift or a cab home or something.

However, if I had a 21-year-old son who had never had a girlfriend I'd be absolutely delighted that he'd finally met someone and I'd have no problem with her staying over in his room. He's 21, not 16. And yes, she's a stranger now, but she won't be a stranger once she's been round a few times, will she? I sort of get the impression you're expecting to have a series of formal meetings in the parlour over cups of tea so you can vet her before you decide if she meets with your approval, which seems a bit weird. Do you not want to encourage him in his new relationship?

oh bless him ..to be 21 again and in lust! Misses the point of the whole conversation but those days were grand!!!