Boys and rent !!

[ABbythesea]

Hello,
I have just joined up - am at the end of my tether with my 20 year old son. I could really do with some advice!
He is now working full time earning 15k a year - I ask him for £30 per week and ask him to buy his own packed lunch stuff and afters, like puddings etc. I cook an evening meal for him but there is also a freezer full of food to chuck something in the oven when I'm out.

Am I being unreasonable? He feels very hard done by!!!

Renting rooms in a shared houses will also obviously only include the room. They may include some bills, but won't include food or any 'services' like having said food cooked, lifts, washing, cleaning etc that is being provided at home.

My parents charge my brother (nearly 22, earning about £18k) £220pcm... When they put it up from £200 to £220 he had a strop, until I showed him some rooms to rent in the area (for twice the price).

I just looked up my area, and as there were a lot of results, looked at the cheapest and most expensive. Cheap was £110 per week, expensive was a studio in a student accommodation tower block and was £390 per week!

I paid £20 per week 40 years ago.....
Hope your discussion is going well!

I don't think YABU at all, and hope you discussion with DS goes well. If it doesn't, I guess living with his father may be a potential option!

Surely his friends are paying board, if they live at home?

Just show him rooms/flats to rent. He'll soon shut up. I'd be asking for more, actually.

My son works full time and pays £300 a month, his own mobile bill, Car insurance and tax, his own fuel etc etc. He knows he's got it easy and my daughter wishes she had never moved out and given up her cushy deal here as she never has spare money anymore.. £30 a week is super cheap.

Dd is a student. Her rent (room in a house with a family, breakfast & evening meal are £120 per week).

I told mine that we would treat it as a house share, and I worked out a sum which covered his food, a share of all the utility bills, and a share of the poll tax. We refer to it as "rent", but he's happy with it as representing his fair share of the costs of living here.

I think it's fine to collect rent, but as a mum I would probably save the money for my son then give it back to him when he needs a deposit for a flat or home to buy (if possible). I wouldn't spend the money unless I couldn't afford my bills. Younger generations need much more assistance to survive than previous ones.

That's very reasonable and should allow him to save too

DS (21) has just started his first job and pays £400/month rent for a room in a house share.

My DD was initially like that. She was working, earning around £150 a week in retail and thought £50 per week was ripping her off and trying to make a profit from her. She would grudge handing it over and demand breakdowns of where it was going.

A quick look on gumtree showed that rooms were around £100 a week around here, not including food.

I did give her some breakdowns of what I pay for utilities and the all important internet. She seemed shocked the other day when I talked about a water bill as she thought water was free.

She is back in education now and happily handing over her money. My niece is paying £500 a month for her student room so she realises she has got a good deal, but still sometimes compares herself to her friend who doesn't pay anything to her parents and they pay her phone bill.

I still need to work on the food bill though!

I would say £30 is far too low, especially since I bet you probably spend that much on food for him.

£650 for a double room and ensuite in my area, my son pays £300 a month for the same, he knows he’s on a good deal and never moans, he does his own washing and buys his own food but he’s wcome to our food.