Please help, terrified of losing my baby

[Exhaustedmummy1811]

I have posted in health too but I'm posting for traffic as so scared right now.

Saturday night my 7 week old premature baby (born 36 weeks) was blue lighted to hospital after she stopped breathing. She just went limp and blue in my arms.

On the way to hospital she was on constant oxygen, she had a few more attacks throughout the night. They did a blood test which took an hour to get as she is so small and they couldn't get enough out. She was left with 8 needle marks from all the attempts and we were both distraught by the end of it. She was on a constant monitor checking her heart rate and how much oxygen flow was getting into her system, according to this everything was perfect. The blood results came back normal as did the ecg that they did. She had also gained a good amount of weight since her last weigh in.

The pead doctor saw her have an episode but said for a premature baby its perfectly normal and wrote in her notes that he was diagnosing 'breath holding' and we were discharged at lunch the next day.

My problem is I feel like I have bought a completely different baby home. She is having upto 20 of the episodes a day, we were told to just blow in her face or take her outside when she does it. We have started giving her a dummy as this reminds her to breathe. But she doesn't really cry now where she used to at every nappy change before now she just kind of whinges like she can't cry. She used to lay in my arms and just look at me now she just looks like she is struggling to breath. She used to snuggle into my neck when we had a cuddle and try and suck my cheek to tell me she was hungry she doesn't do these anymore. She used to make out she was always hungry when she was awake eating her hands and rooting around now we have to try for upto a minute to get a bottle in her mouth. She just seems completely different to how she was just a few days ago.

I can't relax anymore or enjoy her as I'm constantly worrying about her, I've got my health visitor coming out tomorrow so will speak to him. But I think I'm going to take her to my gp Wednesday but I think she will just tell me to take her to a an e if I'm worried but they have already told me it's perfectly normal an I feel they will think I'm over reacting.

Has anyone been through anything similar? Please reassure me things will get better, I'm so scared of losing my little girl. Sorry for the long post

My DS1 did this from the day he was born. He wasn't premature either, he was 12 days overdue and quite big at 9lb 6oz. He was in NICU for a week being monitored and assessed but no cause was found. I was also told to blow gently in his face or tickle the soles of his feet. He had various follow up appointments but they were never any help. He still breath holds now and he's nearly 4, he generally does it until he passes out. It's exhausting and still worrying although I have obviously got more used to dealing with it. He had an ECG recently which was clear. It seems to be just one of those things which he is slowly growing out of it. It happened multiple times a day when he was a baby and now it varies, sometimes only a few times a month.
I hope you get some answers or reassurance at the hospital but just wanted to share my experience to let you know it really could be just one of those things.

Thinking of you OP. Hope you're both okay.

Thank you everyone the support has been amazing. The hospital pretty much said the same thing as they did before and said there is no underlying issues that they can see. I also spoke to my health visitor who also said it could just be one of those things, he was happy with her progress since the last time he had seen us, he is trying to get us an apnea mat but said he couldn't promise they could get one. He said in regards to starting being sick (and a few odd coloured nappies) she could have held her breath if she had tummy ache and didn't know how to deal with it and it could be she has a bug and to keep a close eye. She seems more like her old self today so he said it could be that she was just exhausted and in shock from everything that happened. I am still watching her very carefully and I'm still anxious but I guess only time will tell. Thank you to everyone who has helped x

Glad you got her checked out again OP, and that she seems a little better.

If your HV can’t get you an apnoea mat, maybe still think of getting the Angelcare or Motorola movement mat or the Owlet socks, they may help you relax at nighttime when you can’t be as vigilant x

Ohh gosh, you mum be a nervous reck! I am so sorry. I defo recommend the angelcare monitor also, my ds was 7weeks prem. helped me so it helped me so much x