To ask why everything is so f**kin' expensive?!

[MummyStruggles]

Just that really?

And, also, there's ALWAYS "something" that needs to be bought or replenished i.e new pillows and duvets for the whole household! Grrrr!

Meant to be a lighthearted thread but you know, I get really bloody stressed about it!

Anyone else?

Just a couple of contributions - feel free to ignore.

Blood is definitely a bleachable stain - use ordinary house bleach on a wet item if white or ACE bleach if coloured. I have a DS prone to night time nosebleeds and have bleached out many a blood stain.

The secret to savings is always pay yourself first even if it is a fiver. If you leave it until last you will never save. If you look at your income less the amount going into savings you subconsciously change your view of how much you have available and live to that level.

Save with your local credit union every month because (1) you can borrow from them at sensible non-Wonga interest rates if ever you really need to and (2) the act of putting money away every month really does change your psychology.

I used to work with a credit union in a very poor part of London and most people started by saying they had no money and could not afford to save. Those who stuck with it were confirmed savers after two years and almost all increased the amount they put into savings simply because their habits had changed. For some people the move to becoming confirmed savers really was transformative.

White goods are much cheaper now.

My first washing machine in 1995 cost about £400, a fridge freezer a couple of years later was something like £480, dishwasher around 2000 was about £350. All appliances mid range from Curry's or ao.com - not absolute cheapest but not most expensive either.

When we replaced the washing machine in 2006 (house move) the new one was £250, and the dishwasher a similar price in about 2014.

We still have the original fridge freezer, which is now over 20 years old, but when we come to replace it, I'll expect to pay a similar price as the original one, 20-25 years later, despite other things going up many times more.

And these are not things like media/computer technology that has developed massively over time, these are items that work pretty much the same as they always have.

I agree that today people don't want to wait to replace things which are a bit worn, but often decide a bit worn means worn out and new is needed. For some people having things which are a bit worn or not pretty new makes them feel as if they are doing badly compared to others and feels a source of embarrassment and there can be a sense that we are all entitled to all the latest stuff.

Accepting that things are serviceable and therefore you won't replace them for a good while, or the things you might want can be lived without is a good approach for people of all incomes. Taking this view might allow a bit of a surplus to be built up so that when something happens which can't wait, such as the kids needing new shoes, you can afford it.

For lots of people, the minute there is a good month or a bit if surplus, it burns a hole in their pocket - they decide they will either have a takeaway or something for the house they have fancied or maybe could do with but which can live without, rather than their default position being to just save it......and that's why there is never a surplus for those regular one-offs which occur and really need including in the basic budget as a sum of money for each month.

If you never get a bit ahead you always live hand to mouth.....and that's never going to be a relaxing place to be but one of stress. And when you're innthatbposition self esteem can drop so that you value some of those consumer goods even more and find it even more difficult to save - your self worth becomes tied up with the size and age of your TV in a way a more affluent person might not be even slightly bothered by having a small ancient Tv. Distinguish between things you absolutely must have and those you'd quite fancy but aren't absolute requirements....and have 6 months off the latter.

Yes, everything costs more. Even a cup of coffee or the weekly trip to the supermarket has an impact. Where will it end?

I agree that each month there is something else which creates additional spend, childcare for school holidays, shoes, uniform, Christmas, house repairs, car repairs....

I think the problem is salary increases are not inline with cost of services e.g. my pay rise this year was about £50 per month, my household expenses went up by £190 per month so I am already down £140 this month without the additional costs of summer school uniform and Easter holiday childcare.

Looked at Evening work to bridge the gap, however as a mum with 2 small children and work full time to work 3 hours a night 5 days a week after tax would give about £200 a month and I would be not fit for anything every day.

Can’t win, need to win the lottery x

Everything is too fucking expensive. We can't even afford a trip to the local crappy farm, because at £35, we just don't have that 'spare' cash.

Cinema is £14 each. Haven't been for years!

Swimming is a joke, £20 for the family to go, so we don't go.

There's no sky, no iPhones, no extras, no takeaways, no after school activities, no haircuts, no coffee, no spontaneous anything, because everything is just too damn expensive.

We've been saving The Sun tokens for a trip to legoland. Now just need petrol money.

Our hoover has gone bust, and we're trying to fix it. DS trousers were torn so I sewed them up. Do you think poorer people fix more stuff that richer people? Not being goady, just wondering.

We went without Christmas presents and birthday last year, and just concentrated on the kids.

We're stuck on a very high mortgage rate (6%) and have been for 11 years. Every year the gas and electric go up and so does the council tax, so even when I do scrape back and try and save, it gets lost pretty quick.

We're stuck on a very high mortgage rate (6%) and have been for 11 years.

Can't you refinance at a lower rate?

Expenses are unpredictable in the short run but predictable in the long run. We just spent $1800 in vet bills for the cat and $900 servicing our 10 year old Subaru. Both were unexpected this month, but hardly a surprise.

I think some things are much cheaper now. I remember when I went to university we scoured the charity shops to find household stuff to take away, plates and pots and pans and bedding etc. These days you could just buy it new for the same price as the second hand cost.

Yes - being somewhat short of money has made us more resourceful - we fixed the dishwasher with the help of you tube and a spare part. I’ve mended the hoover about four times. I’m good at sewing anyway so those kind of repairs aren’t a problem. I’ve laid a patio and tiled a cooker splash back and wired in a bathroom light.
I wish I were brave enough to fit our new bathroom too- but I am not!

Feeling this! Got a flat tyre last month - the day before I was going on a hen do and then another one went at the weekend, just after we had booked a little seaside holiday for half term week. Poor timing! And we have no spare cash at the moment as we’re trying to save up to replace the bathroom we ripped out last year and haven’t replaced yet!!

Due to inflation I’m around £11K worse off per year. Hubby earns the same so our household earnings are down £22K per year in real terms. I’m NHS, he’s also public sector. Literally living month to month, I’ve increased my working hours over the past few years and still there’s nothing left at the end of the month as lack of pay rise doesn’t match inflation - it’s pay cuts year after year in real terms. We’re wearing our clothes until the seams are falling apart & the house decor looks so tired. We never go out. Food is strictly budgeted. So yes, ‘cheap’ things are expensive to us.

Gluteus, I agree that life is hard when you are careful about everything and any little luxury seems out of reach. I think that some people who are extremely hard up are resourceful and mend things.....because they have no choice. They go without and to have anything beyond the basics (or often even the basics) have to work very hard in a way which is both exhausting and demoralising, when such hard work and worry are needed just to get by and survive.

Some people though do have sufficient income but it is poorly spent. So for some people they do quickly replace rather than mend and lack resourcefulness. This then is a source if their lack of money rather than their income being too low in basic terms.

It's a hard one because certain things are becoming more expensive in real terms whilst others have dropped in price. People with some money set aside can access cheaper deals than those with nothing and breaking out of the poverty trap can be very difficult and demoralising. Additionally lots of people seem to lack basic money management skills which leads to waste and choices which worsen their situation.

I understand why those who are in poverty and who have been for some time, when they receive a windfall of some kind, choose to spend it rather than the wiser thing of saving it. When life is really hard and lacks much joy, grabbing a bit of quick-fix pleasure seems worth it rather than making the more sensible choice.learning that habit of delayed gratification is so important though.....I think that if we can teach it to our children via them learning to not always spend everyboennynof their pocket money but to learn to wait and save for something, we do them a huge service......and that's the case for children from all kinds of backgrounds and can be learned by those who have a lot and those who have little.

I buy things from ebay. I bought an ikea hermes chest of drawers last week a very large one for £90. They are in ikea for £350. Im loathed to buy new with some things. I buy some new Boden dresses but always sell them on ebay when done. Nearly at the price I first paid. Not everything has to be new!

"Pillows and duvets should last years and years and years."

I put one of my pillows in the washing machine and it's gone out of shape.
I still haven't bothered replacing it though, just have it on the empty side of my bed.

Can't you refinance at a lower rate?

We'd love to, and have tried

The affordability checks are so much stricter, and our jobs changed so we earn less now. However, it pretty much makes me want to be sick when we are currently paying x amount, and we ask to get a new mortgage which is 50% LESS, and they say no, because we can't afford it

"When the washing machine broke I had to wash clothes in the bath for 6 months. "

I would go to a laundrette or offer a friend some money to use their machine.

I think duvets etc are dirt cheap if you know where to look, the local market has Next & M&S seconds and both stores put end of season stock on Amazon cheaply too. Wish.com has cushion covers, wall art & kitchen stuff for £2 etc or pay delivery cost only. I think large household appliances are expensive tho. I just got a reconditioned washing machine. Looks new, has a warranty & was £95. My last reconditioned one I left at my last rental & it was still going strong after 5yrs. Amazon warehouse is great for cheap TV's & hoovers that were returned unused.

S trousers were torn so I sewed them up. Do you think poorer people fix more stuff that richer people? Not being goady, just wondering.
That's normal, not some type of proof of super poverty. Maybe that is part of your financial problem

This thread is a really interesting illustration of how times have changed. When I was a kid in the 70s/80s I got called ‘posh’ by my peers. We were regarded as well off. It wasn’t a particularly upmarket area, but it certainly wasn’t poor either. Yet, we didn’t have a dishwasher, our house had the same carpets/decor/furnishings for my entire childhood. (I can remember new towels being bought once and it was a big deal!) I can’t remember pillows or duvets being replaced, ever. There was a shop on the village high street that repaired everyone’s appliances. My socks and tights were darned. Holes and tears in clothes were mended. Hand me downs were par for the course.

Pets didn’t get groomed, vets only did the basics - the £14K I recently spent on cancer treatment for my cat would have been unthinkable. Holidays were few, involved a cross channel ferry, were short in duration and self catering. We didn’t go to theme parks - too expensive. Disneyland?! Don’t make me laugh! Best write to Jim’ll Fix It...

Kids didn’t have anything like the amount of stuff they have now. Outgrown your bike? Someone up the road would be selling theirs. It would have been well maintained, because people looked after stuff. Bikes passed through many kids for many years before being cannibalised for parts.

This was a pretty normal, affluent upbringing. My grandparents used to make comments about our ‘extravagances’ (those new towels, for instance), because compared to the way they’d brought up their kids in post war Britain, we lived like kings. Go back a generation before them, when my great grandparents were sending their kids to work in the mills at 13, and it’s another leap. As for great great grandfather, well he was a peasant from West Cork who escaped the Irish potato famine aged 12, somehow crossing the Irish Sea to end up alone and scratching out an existence in northern England. He would have a few things to say about wants versus needs.

Each generation has its own normal. And I bet people have had these “there’s always something!” conversations all through the centuries. It’s all relative.

Argh forgot my laptop was £100, reconditioned, off Amazon. 6years on still going strong.

I actually think things were more expensive in the 80s. For example, clothes (supermarket ones didn't exist at all hardly), computers (weren't they like a million pounds!) Toys etc.
We have so many more cheaper options these days. Quality however....

OP and all you other lovely people - I hear you.

We are on a modest income, and our choice was to put everything we had into buying our home so we sacrificed things like foreign holidays, new cars and only make minimal pension contributions. We don't have Sky, Alexa or games consoles, and my mobile is an ancient Iphone 3 so my monthly charge is £8. I don't regret making the sacrifices; we have had fabulous camping holidays in the UK, a car that might be a bit battered but gets us from A to B and we are so used to being frugal that I'm pretty sure we can survive on a very modest pension when the time comes. We have a lot more than many people and I'm grateful for it.

I buy a lot from charity shops. We are lucky to have a good selection in our area including some that sell furniture, eg Emmaus. There are some really lovely things out there. I'm constantly asked by people where I got things and they assume I paid far more than I actually did. I got a gorgeous large rug that covers half the bedroom for £28 at a vintage fair. I have lovely solid wood wardrobes (painted) that cost less than Ikea flat packs. A solid oak extendable table from the 30's I think, for £40, which we've had for 20 odd years. TK Maxx is also brilliant for good quality bargains, eg a set of king size bed linen for £30, where the RRP was £130. I love interior design, so, when I see items I like in magazines, I try and find similar pieces second hand. So much gets thrown away these days which feels so wasteful so we have a policy at home where we don't replace something unless it breaks and is not repairable.

Second hand clothes shops are also great - my DH got a designer suit for a wedding for £40 and I've bought lovely cashmere sweaters for £20 - £30. I would much rather buy one lovely second hand sweater than a whole bag of stuff from Primark. Much of my wardrobe is second hand and stuff I have had for many years. I'm also trying hard to be environmentally conscious about wastage, clothes going to landfill etc, the statistics are awful about fast fashion wastage. So donating and shopping at charity shops is win win in my view.

That's normal, not some type of proof of super poverty. Maybe that is part of your financial problem

Care to explain that one?