To think I wasn’t in the wrong to challenge someone parking across park gates

[GinDaddy]

My first ever AIBU and would love commenters thoughts, tell me I’m wrong:

As per previous posts, I live in Surrey, and yesterday drove my daughter and I to a different park than usual. We parked up a few cars length down from the entrance, on a legal stretch of parking, no issues here.

Walk across the road to the park gates and tried to walk into the park....but couldn’t, because a big white [vehicle made by Land Rover] is parked across the gates itself, leaving a very narrow sliver by some bushes where you could walk around the back of the car into the road, then dart in alongside a bush.

I stood looking at the car and smiling, while trying to initially work out this route. The two ladies inside the car then frowned at me and the driver wound down the window:

“Um, we’re really cold today and we want to watch our children play, so you’ll just have to walk around the car”.

“... into the road and through a bush” I replied, but by this time she’d quickly wound her window up and resumed chatting with her friend.

I tried to continue talking and she looked over and saw this but shook her head and gestured, and then carried on talking.

I’m a motorist who appreciates that we sometimes have small grey areas open to interpretation on the road, but AIBU to think this is just selfish? The actual pathway to the park gate was blocked - there admittedly was a small area of a person’s width in size which my daughter and I squeezed through, but potentially anyone of a slightly different build would have struggled.

Additionally - should I have confronted or questioned this more? I was left with few options tbh - I tried to politely reply and actually address it, but when someone winds their window up and passively agreessively blocks your conversation... I stood well back from the car and smiled throughout the 10 seconds I was granted an audience, as I’m well aware entitled folk like this would use any excuse to blame a 6’2” male for being “confrontational”.

I’m really frustrated here as I feel it goes against the entire principle of municipal areas, when someone plonks their car across the whole entrance and says “walk round me, endanger your kid, because I want to be warm”.

To the previous poster who said "there are three other entrances to the park"

• seriously?!

there is at least one secondary entrance I know of, which is about a three min walk. I didn't have a pram, as I expected to just cross the road and walk in. I don't see why I should have to forgo the main entrance.

To a poster who said "it doesn't look used, there's unworn grass and the gate is locked" -

The pedestrian entrance is to the side, on the left of the main gates. That's the main entrance; she was blocking it.

@ptumbi hahahah laughed out loud, am in Australia, we’ve no yogi bears but plenty of rangers 😂

I really appreciate the supportive posts; I wish I'd made some skilful attempt to confront, but I have a genuine concern about such arguments when someone is prepared to be this CF and bold.

Tapping on the window is a great suggestion, but sadly most likely going to get me personally reported for assault etc. Threatening to scratch her car as I pass, would also get a 0-60 in three seconds response.

The problem is that there's a certain section of bitter, emboldened folk who know that because of certain appearances and privileges they have, they can almost do anything they like, because when confronted they will completely ignore your rights, just shout you down completely, tell you you're "over reacting" or tell you to fuck off.

So selfish
But that’s the world we live in

It wouldn’t matter if there were ten gates. The points is that they’re designed to be accessed by pedestrians and park users. She clearly had a pre prepared answer so she saw you coming and knew she was in your way. Fair enough if it was blocked for maintenance, someone disabled or a special reason but she was there for ring side, air conditioned supervision seats.

Honestly I think the problem is Range Rover drivers, don’t want to generalise but I experience this sort of thing a lot near where I live. Once I had to stop my car because a large middle aged male Range Rover driver was redirecting traffic for a dead cat that was lying on the road. His wife was standing by the Range Rover not knowing what to do and about 50m away. He was directing traffic around the cat while he worked out what to do. I ended up pulling over, immediately getting a blanket out of my car, wrapping up the cat and putting it on the side of the road while he looked for owners.

I was also towed from mud in the Cotswolds by a handsome Range Rover in my twenties and was quite excited until his parents, wife and kids got out shortly after and walked ahead to the restaurant.

I guess what I’m saying is there are exceptions but generally Range Rover drivers are a hazard.

@Kaddm

The resignation of "that's the world we live in" really troubles me, if I can say that.

If this kind of thing isn't called out, we just get mad situations where people park across all manner of things, just because "that's how it is" - if this was the school gates, do we just say "that's the world we live in", "people gonna be people" etc?

I'm admittedly in a county where oversized vehicles and twattish driving is just de rigeur, but I'm not having it that people can't check themselves and recognise that they're not the most important person in the world.

This sort of thing happens at the school gate - cars parked on the zigzags with parent watching making sure the child gets into the school ok.
I sometimes just casually stand in their line of sight (checking my phone). It's fun to see them, from the corner of my eye, rocking backwards and forwards trying to see the child. If your kid can't be trusted to make it into school by themselves then you should park properly and walk them in.

Maybe I’m over reacting a little bit, but the first thing I thought about was how quickly could they run to their child in case of an emergency? We get lots of idiots like this around where we live, and being in a wheelchair makes it often impossible for me to get through, without having to go into the road to do it.
My worry would be, that whilst the lazy parents sat in the car talking, what would happen if god forbid, their child had an accident or was approached by an undesirable stranger?

Open the back doors and bum shuffle through the nicely slippery leather back seats, doffing your cap and picking up a skinny latte and selection of healthy nibbles as you went? 😉

Maybe not... but yes, VERY twatty behaviour on her part.

@Humpy84 Mon 29-Apr-19 08:59:42
@ptumbi hahahah laughed out loud, am in Australia, we’ve no yogi bears but plenty of rangers 😂

Our Drop Bears make up for that 🐨🤣

I'm sorry to anyone who I might offend (and I know plenty of nice people in Surrey!) but this fits so neatly into the stereotype of entitled Surrey Range Rover mummies that I had to laugh!

Did they have their big shades on despite being cold? 😂

You are absolutely right to be annoyed and despair at their entitled attitude. And good point about perhaps being less able, as a man, to confront someone due to the potential to be perceived as an aggressor. You sound like a lovely and thoughtful Dad and a great role model. I’m not sure why you felt it was relevant to tell us you live in Surrey though?

Every time I see this sort of behaviour locally, I photograph the vehicle and send by email to the parking enforcement agency.

Ostentatiously photographing the vehicle is a good ploy. They were in breach of the Highway Code, specifically rule 243 www.gov.uk/guidance/the-highway-code/waiting-and-parking-238-to-252

You could also ask "is your car difficult to park properly, would you like me to park it for you?" This is particularly irritating to the kind of selfish, self-centred idiots who think their car is king.

People photograph badly parked cars and post to my local facebook page on a daily basis, rather boringly

Hopefully op they will realise the error of their ways and wont do it again, at least I hope so.
so ignorant and entitled

The problem is that there's a certain section of bitter, emboldened folk who know that because of certain appearances and privileges they have, they can almost do anything they like, because when confronted they will completely ignore your rights, just shout you down completely, tell you you're "over reacting" or tell you to fuck off.

Oh, I wondered what you were getting at. This is a “rich people are such arseholes” rant. Why not just say that at the start?

I’m sure in your little corner of the world, as there are more of them, it will seem that way, but meanwhile in the wider world, entitled arseholes cover the whole social spectrum. I’m just as likely to be told to fuck off by someone misusing a blue badge space in a battered old Ford as I am by someone in a big white [vehicle made by Land Rover]. In fact, where I am, it’s more likely to be the former than the latter.

oh here we go

my brain didnt even clock the type of car or the part of the country in the opening thread .
I must admit i did wonder.
we are all judgemental

I often find this sort of problem fixes itself if you start to photograph or video the car in question. We have a lane near us where 4wds trash the banks surrounding it, and they soon loose their braveness when being videoed...

It's not the main entrance though. The gates are never unlocked due to the 'traveller incursion' a couple of years ago, and in fact there is now a more solid gate inside the ornamental gates. If you don't have a pram you can duck through the fence, as most people do anyway. That is probably the least used entrance. Most people come in from the entrance near the shops or the one further up Sandy Lane. You can also use the entrance on the main road.
She was rude, but you're making a mountain out of a molehill. Oh and most people in the village are lovely, thanks. Sorry you managed to find the minority.

@Yabbers

Seriously?

It’s not a “rich people are arseholes” rant. You don’t have to be “rich” to potentially lease a white, low spec model from Land Rover’s family adventure offering.

You do however have to be spectacularly inconsiderate to illegally park it across the width of the main park entrance. And because I see a lot of this where I live, often by people who own large new cars and who dismiss you as if you’ve offended them, my experiences allow me to comment on my environment so to speak.

Yes a battered Ford owner could do the same. But that’s not what I’m posting about, that’s not what I experienced.

FWIW I’m not bitter, i could theoretically afford to outright purchase that model she drove, but choose not to.

@PhilipMarlowe

I disagree, I see plenty of people using that entrance, it’s on the corner of the lane and the main road and therefore is most visible.

I don’t really understand why you’re so adamant that I should have to use other entrances when someone is illegally blocking that one.

I’m sorry you feel the need to defend people in your “village”, I have to disagree I’m afraid

It doesn't matter whether it's the main entrance or not, or whether one can duck through elsewhere. It's illegal to park across gateways, so don't be a lazy selfish arse and park across gateways.

Agree, however many entrances there are, it is an 'entrance' not a 'car park'.

It is also quite normal for these kind of people to let their children run riot in cafes and pub gardens, jump on sofas and skate round supermarkets. And not just in Surrey, it happens in many other places. They think they own the part of the country they are in and sod anyone else.