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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

His snoring is making me have some awful thoughts

46 replies

B3ck89 · 29/04/2019 00:38

Like pushing him out the bed.... or smothering him 😩
I love him to pieces but for fuck sake I wish he would put a sock in it (literally)
He’s laying next to me snoring away, with the occasional pig snort and I’m so damn tired.
We don’t have a spare bedroom, and I can’t sleep downstairs as my 16 month old co sleeps with me and still wakes for a breastfeed, i would have been downstairs ages ago if it wasn’t for little one needing me.
He gets so arsy with me for telling him to shut up as he says he can’t help it, and has work tomorrow
I understand that, but I can’t help but hate the sound of him snoring and snorting next to my ear

I’m sure I’m not alone in this .

Anyone have any suggestions?
I may try ear plugs

OP posts:

Original poster

B3ck89 · 29/04/2019 07:54

Helenluvsrob - wow he sounds so much like my dp he will wake up and say exactly the same thing, that he wasn’t even asleep so how could he be snoring... well I moved so that’s why he thinks he wasn’t asleep.
I told him before to go see a doctor but he don’t think there’s a problem, only bit of excess weight.
I’ll tell him he needs to go, for his health and my sanity

OP posts:

Stormwhale · 29/04/2019 07:57

I would recommend these earplugs. They are good value and work the best of the many types I have tried.

SpinningDizzy · 29/04/2019 07:59

Assuming your DC has a cot. Get rid and put a decent sized bed in DC's room.

Happynow001 · 29/04/2019 08:03

How I would so love to go lay and sleep on the sofa right now
Maybe suggest that he sees a GP and that, until he sorts his snoring (possible sleep apnoea) our HE sleeps in the sofa.

Hope this gets sorted out OP otherwise you'll both end up getting resentful.

Original poster

B3ck89 · 29/04/2019 08:04

Spinningdizzy - I have 4 boys in a 3 bed house. 2 teenage boys share a room and my 7 year old has his own room, but due to his SEN I can’t put the littlest one in his bedroom. I so wish I had a room to go to ☹️
I’m going to try the ear plugs next, or ear phones with calming music and hope it works 🤞

OP posts:

TapasForTwo · 29/04/2019 08:06

I'm not sure I would want to be wearing earplugs if I had a baby to listen out for.

He absolutely must see a GP as it sounds like he has sleep apnoea, which can have serious implications. DH has sleep apnoea (which baffles the medical profession as he is very skinny). He has a CPAP machine that he uses every night, and it has eliminated the snoring and improved his sleep quality hugely

He has had a silent stroke, which we think was caused by the sleep apnoea, so I think it is very important that your husband sees a GP.

Ferfeckssake · 29/04/2019 08:06

Currently in spare room. Dreadful snorer is my DH. I did record him and he was shocked at the noise level.Still won't do anything about it though.
Hate it so much.

goose1964 · 29/04/2019 08:08

Falling asleep immediately is one sign of sleep apnoea, get him to complete the Epworth test. It asks about falling asleep under different conditions.

If he scores high please convince him to see a doctor a cpap machine will change your lives.

DailyMailcanfuckthefuckoff · 29/04/2019 08:14

@Islands I think I have that app! It's called Snorelab. You can record every other night for free, and it allows you to listen to 4 samples throughout the night (usually at loudest points). It's a very useful app.

Original poster

B3ck89 · 29/04/2019 08:18

I’ve just text him and told him, and his reply is I haven’t got it - even sent him screen shots from nhs website which he is dismissing.
I think because he has seen the doctors a lot lately, he’s too embarrassed to go back again but I agree he must go

OP posts:

SpinningDizzy · 29/04/2019 08:21

DH swap with 7 year old?
DH to the sofa?
Record him so he can hear how loud it is?
I may have occasionally done really loud piggy snores in his ear and when he woke up told him he'd woken himself with his own snoring

Sicario · 29/04/2019 08:23

I think it's pretty cruel to play someone a recording of their terrible snoring. God knows I've been tempted. There's no cure for it (apnoea masks aside for that condition) and it only gets worse. Earplugs, definitely. The very soft spongy ones from Boots are quite effective and comfortable to wear. Apart from that the only solution is separate bedrooms.

TapasForTwo · 29/04/2019 08:23

People with sleep apnoea don't know they have it because they are asleep. This is why a sleep study and recording of the snoring is so important. It took quite a lot of nagging from me and many nudges in the middle of the night to convince DH that he had it.

When the readings came back the consultant was horrified at how bad it was. DH was stopping breathing up to 50 times an hour!

SpinningDizzy · 29/04/2019 08:26

I think it's pretty cruel to play someone a recording of their terrible snoring.

Why? It's not like they can hear it themselves. And it's not publishing it online. It's saying to your OH, next time you keep me awake snoring I'm going to record it so you can hear.

Ferfeckssake · 29/04/2019 09:06

Yes, my DH was dismissive and thought I was exaggerating his snoring. Until I recorded it. How would he like that noise next to him?

MattieB19 · 29/04/2019 09:57

My DP snores but we have both accepted that sleeping separately is the only way. I simply could not cope with the lack of sleep - couldn't deal with the physical or mental effects. My future is in the spare room or on the sofa (honestly don't care about sleeping on the sofa). Unless we one day find a solution, fingers crossed. I don't know how it will work if we have kids but I am not sacrificing my health or happiness for the sake of social convention or otherwise. I'll sleep on the sofa every night rather than not sleep well ever again, even if the baby will have to sleep downstairs with me! My health and happiness is as important as his, and the same applies to you. Sleep somewhere else as soon as you can if you can't stop the snoring, don't put up with shit sleep for no good reason for years to come

Thehop · 29/04/2019 09:59

I either go to bed before dh or put good ear plugs in

ScatteredMama82 · 29/04/2019 10:04

Oh god I know that feeling. My DH is fit as a fiddle, in good shape and snores like a bloody train. He tried spray, mouth guards and a ring but nothings works consistently. I then couldn't sleep, so I'd get up and read or something, or move to the spare room. But that woke him up and then he couldn't get back to sleep and we were both shattered all the time. When DS2 came along, he didn't sleep either so we ended up just sleeping in separate rooms and taking turns with the baby. DS2 is now 4 and we still sleep in different rooms, lol! My DH appreciated how much damage his snoring was doing, so he did try different things to address it. It's a nightmare.

You say you co-sleep, but you're not sleeping and that's not any good for you. If there's no spare bed your DH can go to, would he consider sleeping on the couch?

If not, could you sleep on the couch and take LO with you (in moses basket beside you or something?)

FrenchyQ · 29/04/2019 12:11

I feel your pain.... I am so tired as DH's snoring has been getting gradually worse, I could quite happily smother him with a pillow. It's been even worse this weekend as he's got tonsillitis

PepsiLola · 29/04/2019 12:27

Tell DH he has to go on the sofa until he goes the doctors. Might be the push he needs

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 29/04/2019 12:31

These men need to go to their GPs and get themselves checked out for sleep apnea, and they need to do it NOW. Snoring can be a very clear symptom of it and it’s estimated that around half of men have it. If they have it then they are not sleeping soundly and almost certainly could be a danger at the wheel. It can also affect memory.

Stop putting up with it.

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