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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No contact approach with my ex

3 replies

Dnbkittie · 28/04/2019 21:02

Hi, I think I need to get some opinions. Me and ex broke up when daughter was under a year. Got back together, and broke up again. He was the reason I broke it off with him, not trustworthy, didn't pull his weight financially, just played games all the time. Roll on a year later, and things have gotten really bad.

He seems to want revenge on me because I technically broke up him and the girl he was seeing, because he also was getting with me at the time. She was his gf, he told me they split up, turned out they hadn't really and were still seeing each other and he was seeing both of us at same time. I told her, she dumped him. I thought they had broken up, I wouldn't have gone near him otherwise. A week later he got with a new girl, and me and him carried on not speaking except for our child. Both annoyed at each other! This new girl seems to have taken over and my ex has totally changed.

He decided to introduce this gf (the old one he never introduced btw) after a few weeks and her kids as well, and didn't tell me until I heard it from our child. He said it was none of my business. I messaged his new gf, just say I didn't agree with it, but she deleted the message. He refuses to see my point of view that it's too early on to introduce, and the texts between us got toxic as we disagreed. Next thing he has blocked me on all social media, saying I don't need to know about his life. I honestly don't understand it, as we have always been friends on there etc. He's become totally unreasonable and all of a sudden just really really hates me. I'm sure it's his new girls influence as she blocked me too.

He's causing me so much stress right now, I can't deal with even speaking to him. We share a text each day that our toddler isn't aware of, just a one word answer, yes to if she's okay. That's it. It's totally pointless really. I really don't want any contact with him unless emergencies etc. He sees her twice a week, his choice (I tried to fight for more once upon a time but he told me he only wanted to see her twice).. Is it unreasonable to stop the daily messages and just limit the contact to when she sees him, or perhaps just one message?

I'm so stressed out by him having to have daily communication, it's affecting our child. The child feels my stress.

Anyone else have no contact between the father's visits? And can I legally do this?

Thanks

OP posts:
LuluBellaBlue · 28/04/2019 21:06

Sorry but you were out of order to message his new girlfriend! They now both have a reason to be annoyed with you, despite him so I don’t like a complete arsehole so my sympathies to you.

No, you don’t have to agree to sending him a daily text. However when your child is with him then I presume you couldn’t expect a daily text.

Dnbkittie · 28/04/2019 21:14

Yes, it works both ways. And I appreciate that. It's something he doesn't. We explicitly agreed with each other the we would inform the other of new partners and if they were introduced to kids etc. He did neither (he did inform me of his last one) and I feel like he's using our child against me to get back at me. He knows this would hurt me etc, and we had the convo many a time. Only a few months ago he said he would hate a new guy around his child, but and last week he told me he wanted to know nothing of my life, including when I get a bf and also he doesn't want to know when I introduce them either. I don't get it!!

His new women clearly has no respect for me as a mother either, if I had a bf with a child, id always make sure it was run past the mum first. Why would I want to be enenmies with her?

OP posts:
Dnbkittie · 28/04/2019 21:17

I'm annoyed she thinks her decision to meet my child and her kids is more important than the mother of the child!! I'm sorry, but who does that after only a few weeks. My ex probably spouting his lies about me again

OP posts:
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