@LEM, definitely find out your mum’s feeling on the DNaR if she will discuss it with you. If you feel her other medical needs are being dismissed because of it, and you have good communication channels with her GP (if she’s at home) or her hospital team if under their immediate care, then definitely have a discussion about specific aspects - what do you feel I should not being addressed, ask how they are responding to that need and who is making that decision. Also, what can be done to meet that need.
Can I give you another perspective; my DF didn’t have a DNaR in place (for context, he was a curmudgeonly 83 man who had been diagnosed with a slow growing lung cancer, COPD, alcoholism and general frailty. Was known to palliative care team from local hospice but, in their opinion 4-5 weeks previously, was not I’ll enough to be eligible for their respite services or likely to need them for many months; no one discussed DNaR at that point as he was not deemed being near an end of life situation) when he collapsed at home.
He was in his bedroom and DM heard what she though was him dropping something, she thought nothing about until almost an hour later when she went to use the bathroom and his bedroom light was on, she checked on him and found him on the floor, unresponsive and was unable to help him (she is disabled) she called me and I went round - took at least 10 minutes to get there.
We called 999, explained the situation and that I thought he was beyond help (I’m a former children’s nurse with A&E experience and also worked in care of the elderly at home). To take hey send 2 critical are paramedic cars and a critical care ambulance and made every attempt they could to rescusitate him for approximate 30 minutes before declaring all attempts futile about 2 hours after my mum heard that initial noise. - and they did lots of things I found difficult to accept. My lasting memory of that night is feeling that, no matter what they attempted, it was too late even by the time DM called me; that they were using up resources that were better served being used to try and save people who they had a chance of actually helping and, lastly, that he would never have wanted any of this to happen to him.
The subsequent coroners verdict (he hadn’t seen a DR in 28 days so had to go to have a post mortem) was that he died of chronic cardiac disease and heart failure; it was unlikely any medical intervention would have succeeded and he had probably already been dead (so unaware and not in pain) when he fell. It is hard, I wish we had not had to go through that Ishtar rather than experience what we did and I regret that still 4+ years on.