To be totally done with 'best friend' of 18 years.

[DietriotukMN]

Hopefully wont be too long. Heads up, I am crying my eyes out and on my second vodka orange.

My best friend, let's call her 😾, and I have known each other since the start of secondary school. We are incredibly similar in many ways, and we have always just 'got' each other.

Over these 18 years however, she will randomly drop me like a hot stone for weeks/months with no explanation as to why, the only things she will say to me during these times are incredibly hurtful personal remarks about things I have told her in confidence.

I cant remember the number of times where we have arranged something, either just the two of us, or when she has been invited out with my family to events/dinners etc. Where she has texted me saying she was getting ready, then was on her way, to not showing up at all and giving me radio silence for days.

One that springs to mind in particular was my meal before I left the UK to live in Israel. She assured me she was coming, told me she was on her way, only to then tell me she wasnt feeling good so she was staying home. Mutual friends saw her shortly after at a illegals pad, smoking and sniffing.

Every single time this happens I accept her back into my life. And every single time it hurts more than it did before.

AIBU to have told her to fuck off? We were supposed to meet Friday, but had text and hadn't heard anything back by 2pm so assumed like usual I had been blown off. So I did something with another friend. She then texts hours late and is really pissy that I have changed my plans. Was i unreasonable? And would I be unreasonable for cutting her out now for good?

I know someone like this. Always cancelling, making promises to meet. I bumped into her in town the other day, more promises, she said she’s not sure of my number. Ha. I’ve not texted her, she can go hang, I’m done. It’s not worth all the hassle with people like this.

Every single time this happens I accept her back into my life. And every single time it hurts more than it did before.
You may consider her your best friend but she doesn't think the same about you. If she did she would not betray your confidences or disrespect you in the various ways she has including dumping you at short notice.

I'd probably not make any huge Announcement but would just let the friendship diminish. Don't book anything 1:1 or where it matters if she turns up or not (eg where expenses will be incurred) and just meet her casually where group events are already taking place where she may (or may not) turn up.

Spend time with other people who are more dependable and who add something more positive to your life. Good luck OP. 🌹

You don't have to make it into an argument or a 'break up', but just stop reaching out to her, casually messaging her and making plans.
Fill your time with other stuff, focus on your other friendships, plan stuff with other friends instead. She might in time grow up and become more reliable. You don't need to sever all ties, just stop initiating and focusing your energy on her.
It doesn't sound like much of a friendship at the moment.

I agree with Biscuit - she wouldn't have been my friend - never mind best friend - the second time dropped you and made nasty remarks about things you had told her in confidence. Tell her this, then block her and forget about her - find some nice friends instead.