Taking a step back from colleague

[Fragglesrooke]

Apologies in advance - not AIBU but posting for traffic as I could really do with advice today. Also posted in bereavement.

I work in a large organisation as middle management. One of the people I lead lost his partner just less than a year ago and his grief has hit badly quite recently. I've been supporting him a lot over the last few weeks and he has finally felt able to seek medical help - which is fantastic.

Thing is I lost my mum at the start of this year and helping him through his grief has taken a massive toll on me emotionally. It's been quite intensive support and I've regularly ended up in tears afterwards.

The company we work for are amazing and there are other people he could go to but he's felt more able to open up to me. I need to back away now as I'm struggling with my own grief but unsure how to broach this as I don't want him to feel that he is a burden or has been.

Other people, my manager for example, are aware that I need to back away and are more than happy to take over supporting him but how do I phrase this to him next time he needs help?

Really sorry to hear about your loss OP.

How close are you to him?
If you've been supporting him heavily does this mean you're able to have an honest conversation? If that's the case I would just be honest and tell him you're finding it hard and that you need to step back.

You do need to look after yourself but you are also this persons manager. With that comes a duty of care. Do you have an occupational health service that offers counselling etc...... if so I would refer on to them and then say to the staff member now it had been referred it wouldn't be appropriate to talk to you (in a nice way though). Then you need to refer yourself and have some grief counselling so you can process it all as well.

Thank you both.
AnnieCat84 I can be honest with him, just really concerned that, If I don't word it right, he'll feel like he's been a burden and I think he has enough to contend with right now.
alwaysreadthelabel up until now he's point blankly refused support from OH or GP. This is one of the reasons it's been so hard. He's been very stubborn from a belief that he should be ok by now and that asking for support is weak. This has been the nut I've now managed to crack but it's taken a lot out of me - sharing my experiences (so reliving it all) etc.
I've a history with my own MH that I've always been very honest about - possibly why people tend to come to me for support. I referred myself to OH earlier this year, I've taken time off when I've needed to and made sure I got the support I needed. I'm just not strong enough yet in myself to continue to be so invested in someone else's grief.