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Original poster

Urgent advice needed - Dodgy spousal financial behaviour /critical illness and divorce

28 replies

Squaregirl · 28/04/2019 08:18

Help.. my husband has basically dealt with our finances for our 7.5 year relationship. For 5 years v well. We moved into our current home 2 years ago debt free.

I’ve recently had a heart attack & 2x cardiac arrests, I now have a severely impaired heart.. we have two young daughters 1&4.

Husband decided unilaterally to leave me just one week post heart attack (I was in hospital for 1 month).

Then out of nowhere, 2 weeks ago he tells me we have a ‘shared’ £68k loan/credit card debt accumulated in exactly 2 years since we moved into our family home debt free. Mostly I’m his name.

He can’t/won’t share full disclosure of any of these credit accounts so I can see how this debt was accumulated..

We then receive a critical illness cover payout of £47k through his work last week (50% of his salary for a spousal illness - mine) which has been paid into account in his name, an account I can’t access nor do I know which bank it’s with, he then tells me this money is to be used to clear our debts. As he tells me, when we divorce all the debts (mainly in his name) will he split 50/50.

At least £25/30k of the debt was accumulated on creating/designing his custom campervan. Which I assume he has no intention of selling.

We could sell our house, van and my car to pay off debts but instead he wants to use the money needed to improve my health/healing and associated costs with me not working. And I may need a heart transplant in a year! I’m 42.

I’ve already checked with the bank, the money is in a savings account I don’t have access to. He could literally use it today to pay off his credit cards and it would be gone.

What do I do?? Urgent advice needed please

OP posts:
violetbunny · 28/04/2019 08:19

You need a solicitor pronto!

Thehop · 28/04/2019 08:21

Solicitor ASAP

AskMeHow · 28/04/2019 08:22

Solicitor

Leyani · 28/04/2019 08:23

Solicitor!!

Leyani · 28/04/2019 08:24

In the meantime, post in the legal thread?

maddening · 28/04/2019 08:37

Tell his bank that the money is under legal dispute?

HBStowe · 28/04/2019 08:40

You absolutely need to speak to a solicitor. Nobody on here can give you specific advice on something as complex at this, even if they are a solicitor themselves.

Raspberry10 · 28/04/2019 08:43

Get a solicitor ASAP. In the meantime run a credit check, we found this one to be excellent when we had an identity theft www.noddle.co.uk/ you should be able to see there what he’s taken out in your name. This is a useful article to stop him taking anymore out in your name www.equifax.co.uk/data-breach/knowledgecentre/how_identity_theft_strikes.html

Belleende · 28/04/2019 08:47

What a piece of work. Solicitor (and a hitman perhaps they are probably cheaper)

james00 · 28/04/2019 08:48

This reply has been deleted

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justilou1 · 28/04/2019 08:49

Suspect if they're in his name, they're his problem. Don't panic!

justilou1 · 28/04/2019 08:50

And FFS stay away from above link and any other dickhead preying on vulnerable people.

LoubyLou1234 · 28/04/2019 08:53

Run a credit check in your name, clearscore (equifax) or Experian have free versions. Better doing a couple as some companies use different credit agencies to report to. Then you can see what debt you are linked too.
Other than that you need a solicitor ASAP.

Ikeameatballs · 28/04/2019 08:53

See a solicitor!

UCOinanOCG · 28/04/2019 08:58

I agree that you need to get legal advice and get it fast.

Violetroselily · 28/04/2019 09:24

Do you have any copies of the group protection scheme doucuments? It's not uncommon for the payment to only be payable to the member (I.e your exH as the employer) irrespective if the claim is for them, the spouse or a child

Violetroselily · 28/04/2019 09:25

Sorry that meant to say your exH as the employee, not the employer

Original poster
Squaregirl · 28/04/2019 21:28

I do have a copy of the insurance doc and it was specific about paying to him. However.. how he intends to use it is wrong.

I’m seeing a solicitor tomo.

Thanks for all the advice! I will run the credit/debt link checks 🙏

OP posts:
ScreamScreamIceCream · 28/04/2019 21:31

OP if the money is paid out to him he can use it how he likes even if how he intends to use it is morally wrong.

And yes please see a solicitor.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 28/04/2019 21:46

Don't use Noddle, @Squaregirl. Get a proper check from Equifax or Experian. Noddle were in a lot of hot water for dodgy data sharing... I'd give them a very wide birth.

Good luck with the solicitor Thanks

Original poster
Squaregirl · 28/04/2019 22:02

Scream ice cream.... are you serious? Do you have legal knowledge/training?

So he intends to pay off debts he won’t disclose with it... Jesus Christ... and there’s not much I can do?

I cannot believe how much my life has changed in 10 weeks. I trusted him implicitly.

OP posts:
Original poster
Squaregirl · 28/04/2019 22:23

The problem is I can’t access the money. He could literally pay off debt with it tomo and it would be gone.....

OP posts:
PrincessDanae · 28/04/2019 22:32

No you can't access the money, it's his policy. I understand why you're upset, but you can surely understand the legalities of the pay out being legally his? However, in the event of a divorce, because the payout, although his, is because of YOUR illness, you would be quite likely be entitled to a share of it.

With debt, it's not as clear cut. The court will sometimes look at the reason for the debt, and if it was all used to benefit just one party, then it is possible that all or a large proportion of the debt will be left with that party.

So if you're going to get legal advice, do so quickly BEFORE he pays off the debt with the pay out.

Sofagirl · 28/04/2019 22:36

So he obviously hasn’t dealt with your finances very well if it’s come to this big debt amassing

Why did you let him deal with all your finances?

It sounds like complete betrayal to me - it’s been going on for a while and he’s landed you in the shit after your heart attack

What an absolute

Ellisandra · 28/04/2019 22:36

He’s an arsehole.

But it is his company scheme, and I would not be surprised if it is perfectly correct that it was paid to him. It’s a benefit of his contract. I don’t see that they would restrict how it could be spent.
I have private critical illness cover - there are no restrictions. A certain set of facts = payout. And that’s the end of it.
Which is fair enough. It would be wrong to have a restriction that it was only for treatment. What if you declined treatment and wanted to spend it on adapting your house for subsequent disability? Or spend it on travel whilst you could, before you expected to lose mobility (depending on your illness - I don’t mean specifically yours).
He could legitimately say “we have a family debt and I need to reduce the stress and cost of that so we can concentrate on treatment, or remove the additives debt repayments so that I can reduce my hours to support my wife”.

See a solicitor, but be prepared to be told that you cannot force the treatment of the money in a particular way.

More important, is to talk to the solicitor about divorce. They can do things like argue in settlement that you don’t take 50% of the debt off your share of the assets - if it was run up quickly by him. And though they can’t change the rules of the illness payout, they can argue that your medical needs mean you get x% higher than him of the overall asset split. So he might keep the £47K in his account, but fuck him you’re having a chunk of his pension and 80% of the house. That sort of thing.

SOLICITOR. ASAP.

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