To think I need a bit of a head wobble, MN-style?

[B0033]

I started a new job recently after years of being a SAHM. I am enjoying it, the work is varied and interesting, but I'm just so nervous. My manager is very hands-off, so as long as I get my tasks done, the minor details don't interest her.

Trouble is, I feel like a small child who wants approval and recognition for everything that I do. I'm embarrassed to say that I would love to hear something like:
"Well done, B0033! You did a great job sending that email!"
"Wow, that spreadsheet is amazing. Award-winning, truly."

I'm encouraged to come up with new ideas, work to my own initiative, which I do - and my manager likes my work, but I still feel like I'm missing something, like I need this approval for every choice I make to ensure I'm doing a Good Job.

She doesn't ignore me, if I have questions or need guidance, she gives it, she just doesn't hover either. This is a good thing, right? I need to calm down, don't I?

I think I'm just nervous because I've been out of work for so long.

(Virtual head pats welcomed, because I'm clearly needy)

I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job, good for you!

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

I feel your pain. I'm a proper goody two shoes at work and sometimes struggle with the lack of verbal head pats .

Haha, thank you both.

Glad it's not just me, Stripping! We can be needy together.

Just remember the lack of positive reinforcement isn't about you, it's about her. That isn't to say one of you is right and one of you is wrong, she probably just doesn't have that way of managing. BUT that doesn't mean you aren't doing a fab job. The fact you've gone back to work and care deeply about doing a good job means you can give yourself after years of being out of the game means you can give yourself a pat on the head and feel truly proud of your accomplishments.

Aw, you don't need a head wobble, you need, and deserve, one of these ...--->

The trouble is that once you leave school, silence = gold star. (And if it's not gold-star-worthy, you would definitely hear about it!)

That was a splendidly executed post, OP, top of the forum, your boss should be giving you a raise!

That was supposed to be funny haha but it doesn't sound the way I intend it.

Full gold stars! Nope, I'm just shit at this cheering people up/ on business 😂

I'm the same, and in my last serious job it was all criticisms and put downs of everyone, no one got any praise, and lots of our work was back breaking and strenuous. It would have been wonderful to have been noticed for positive reasons but if we were all under the radar, that meant we were doing the best job eyeroll

Hopefully boss will notice you eventually

Silence = gold star

That has never occurred to me before . I think I would've had a much more fulfilling and less stressful career to date if it had of.

What is a head wobble?

Had a boss once who was constantly "that's so great, well done you" in what she thought was an encouraging tone but came over smarmy and made me and others feel like she thought were 5-year olds. I knew she was genuine but it was teeth-gritting. As a manager myself I am sparing with praise until someone really does over and above - but equally sparing with criticism. I just talk about the work and people know what I'm looking for.

Bumping my ridiculous thread to say - I got two exclamation marks in a recent email. Two!!

That's like a crown of gold stars, that is.

I don't give me team many compliments, I say it with cake and wine.

@thisnamechanger

I don't give me team many compliments, I say it with cake and wine.

Better than the boss I had a few years ago who “said” it with a shag!!

His idea of reward was horizontal.... at that point in life I was quite happy to accept that, and he was sure talented so it actually was a reward.....

However that probably isn’t the “on target praise” you want, is it OP?

Vivavivienne just involuntarily pictures myself in that scenario with coworkers and was sick in my mouth a little bit

They get free drinks and fancy brownies...I draw the line at any hanky panky.