Boyfriend deleted a WhatsApp conversation with another woman...

[boyfriendwhatsapp]

BF and I have been dating 4 months, so still a fairly new relationship. It's safe to say we have fallen head over heels for one another, both exchanged I love yous, booked holidays, we see each other 3 - 4 times week. We've met one another's family and friends on several occasions.

I think its important to stress that I have never had any doubts about him up until this point. We know one another's phone passwords so very open in that regard, never really cared to hide or hidden anything. Anyway, earlier on I was on his WhatsApp sending photos to myself that we had taken on his phone. I noticed a conversation with a woman he has never mentioned before, but I didn't pry or read it as I have (had) no reason to mistrust him or think anything of it. This evening when he was scrolling through his WhatsApp I noticed that the conversation had been deleted. Only the conversation with her, so it cannot be put down to having a phone or WhatsApp clear out.

I have done a bit of digging and it appears she is married and also lives a fair distance away. I am very doubtful of physical cheating, but I am suspicious that maybe there was some inappropriate conversation or flirting. Why would he delete the messages?

Should I ask why he has deleted it, or wait and see if anything more comes to light over the coming weeks e.g. another conversation appears?

Wait or you’ll look like a bunny boiler. The whole thing may be innocent.

You were on his phone with his blessing? Then just ask.

It gives me a very weird feeling. We've always been very open and honest with one another about everything, very intimate little details too. It just seems out of character... especially as he's never mentioned her and is very vocal about his friends.

Crunchymum Yes, he let me go on his WhatsApp to send photos to myself. Then the conversation is deleted hours later when he knows I was on it earlier...

Hmm... I know the grown up thing would be to bring it up with him and discuss openly. But equally you've potentially only known this guy for a little while. You said been dating for 4 months. So I would personally take the view you don't know him well enough for blind trust. So I'd bide my time. You have access to his phone (for now) don't ruin that. Play it cool, don't go on his phone in front of him and lull him into a sense of security so he won't change his phone p/w. Then, give it a month to allow chats to build again and then when he least suspects - get on his phone again and see this woman's messages! If they are once again deleted - then frankly I would confront and ask "who's this?" But I'd act like it was the first time seeing it as opposed to the second. I'd try to gauge his reaction etc.

Though saying that - like... deleted messages on just ONE chat... and it's with a woman... not looking great is it? I cannot think of a single plausible excuse for him to come up with.

I'd keep looking for more on her on social media - fb/instagram/LinkedIn. And I'd try to think of the bigger picture. Ie: is he quite quite a flirty character normally? Is it possible he would maybe cheat? Etc.

Just thought - have you checked his archives? Maybe he just hid the convo as opposed to deleted it? Check his WhatsApp archives.

I would ask him.

If it's an innocent relationship you'll believe the answer. It's not an unreasonable question to ask if you're on the phone with his permission. You don't need to say you noticed the thread has gone. Just something like ' who is x?' I saw a WhatsApp convo when sending photos.'

If you don't believe the answer then leave. I'm sorry if this sounds mean but if you don't trust him then you've not too much to lose at this point.

I think I'd wait to be honest and check his phone again. Not the PC answer but if he has something to hide he will continue hiding it -he is not going to come out and say he was flirting or whatever and deleted it so you wouldn't see it. Hed say he didn't know or it was an accident or she was stalking him or something then hide it better next time

And you probably dont know him well enough yet to know if he's lying

I did trust him implicitly up until now. It’s obvious he didn’t want me to see that conversation, why else delete it and nothing else?