AIBU - housemates practically living in common areas

[Makemeaname]

I live in a shared house with 2 other people. I've always been very much of the mindset that the kitchen is for cooking and eating in, and rarely spend much time in there unless I'm talking to one of my housemates.

But they both use the kitchen so much! It's only small, if there's someone sat at the table it's a squeeze to get around the room. One spends most of his time using the entire table for his painting hobby, the other always sits in there to revise or do uni work. They always have music or tv on speakers while they're doing this.

WIBU unreasonable to gently suggest they do this in their own rooms, or in the (admittedly small) living room which no-one uses, or is this just part of communal living?

Can you suggest making the living room more suitable for working or painting, get a table in there or something. You don't seem unreasonable.

There's not much space in there, tv and couch take up all the room. They both have massive bedrooms though with decent sized desks in

I agree; making the living room nicer (better lighting and work surface? a comfortable seat?) might encourage them to spend more time there.

I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask them to free up some space when you're cooking, either.

I don't know if it would be possible to do without being too obvious or too obnoxious, but maybe you could think of ways to make them want to leave the room while you're cooking. Having to ask them to move so you can navigate the room (interrupting them)? Bumping the table "accidentally" as you try to squeeze past? Cooking noisily
or making something that creates very strong smells? It's not "nice" and wouldn't be my first tactic, but if they don't respond to hints or polite requests, I might try it.

Sorry, but I really think YABU. It's part of communal living. They're paying rent same as you are, it's not as if they've got a permanent guest in there. I think the best you can suggest is headphones.

Using the communal space is fine. But, it’s also not unreasonable for you to be able to cook dinner without them under your feet. Why not ask if you can have the kitchen to yourself for an hour at a specific time?

When I e shared houses, we have used the communal space as just that -communal. It’s everyone’s home. In your family home people would sit and chat in the kitchen or living room - this is how it should be in a share. It’s your home. I’d hate to feel I had to sit in my bedroom all the time.

Tbh, I think that this is the way with communal living.

Can you ask the painter to pack away while you cook/eat?

Communal living is exactly that. I think you’re being pretty unreasonable.

I think it’s just part of communal living. I presume the table is there to be used or it’s pointless having it.

The kitchen is a damned fool place to paint. Cooking can be splattery. Our house rule is that that things are left in the kitchen at your peril.

Yabu, when I lived in a shared flat the tiny kitchen was the hub of the house. I loved that whatever time of day etc it was if you fancied a chat or some company you headed to the kitchen, if there wasnt someone there when you got there there soon would be. You are also being unreasonable because they have paid their rent so can use the communal areas, they presumably aren't making it impossible to use the kitchen.

Is your room also big? If they have large rooms and don't use them and you have a small one and do, then perhaps one of them might swap?

It's difficult as some people would hate sharing in a house where everyone headed off their rooms all the time.

I think this is part of communal living. The common areas are there for hanging out and relaxing in, not just passing through. If the paint stuff is getting in the way for cooking, ask if the painter could do it in another room.

It would be so dreary to live in a house share and be confined to your own room all the time.
May as well be in a bedsit. Maybe a bedsit would suit you better, op?

I think the painting is taking the piss a bit if it means you have nowhere to cook or sit to eat at a table. Otherwise YABU

YANBU

but unfortunately some people love to live in their kitchen. It's a mystery to me why, but they sound like your housemates are like that. I don't think there's anything you can do. If you need more space to cook, then ask. If not, you can use your bedroom for privacy and the lounge when you fancy a chat.

Could you swap the couch and the table around? So have the couch and perhaps the coffee table if there is one in the kitchen and the table in the living room. This way both rooms would be used and there would be more room to cook.

May as well be in a bedsit. Maybe a bedsit would suit you better, op?

I am Hoping to get a place on my own at the end of this contract. I don't like people so hard for me to judge if IABU or this is normal thing to find annoying.

It's not so much the using the kitchen, it's that they'll be on there for 6 hours a day and there's just not the space. Maybe if they tidied up when they left as well.

Painting in the kitchen is ridiculous, but other than that. I do think YABU.

Your mindset that the kitchen is only for cooking and eating in is just yours, not a widely accepted one.

Personally i don't see a problem with how the others are using the space. In a housemate scenario however it would have been nice to have discussed it and come to an agreement first. I think few housemate scenarios work out that smoothly though. Anyway, i don't think one of you is right and the other wrong. It's also ok to want to use the space as you would prefer it. You just need to comedies options andcome to a mutual agreement.

I wouldn't take kindly to being told I have to stay in my room all evening unless I'm actually cooking!

I agree, Gwen. As for hitting the table and other PA childish bullshit, that's even worse. Grow up!

I think you just need to address the practical issues. Like point out if there isn’t room for you to do something that you need to do.

I'm not a 'stay in your room person' but it is annoying when one person takes over an area by spending all their time in there. So I say there are limits.

This is the way these things usually work, ivevhad to do this and hated it - I'm just not a people person. A bedsit would be better for the time being op.