To have a rant at dh for being a workaholic

[Westside1]

Has anyone had major issues with their dh for being a workaholic. This wasn’t so much of an issue before our daughter arrived but is becoming more of an issue now. Everything is left to me and things have come to a head this week. I’m also sick with flu. So how did you manage to turn things around and make him spend more time with dd and less time working

If your husband is leaving you sick at home with a child and doing no parenting or domestic chores then it isn't being a workaholic it's being an entitled and unfeeling asshole! Tell him you need him to stay and care for you sand your child. End of argument. If that doesn't help then I'd rethink your relationship

Blimey, implied LTB on the very first post. Is that a record?

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So Alsohuman, what should we be advising in your humble opinion? - probably: Suck it up OP. Accept that you will effectively be a single parent but console yourself that at least you won't be a poor one?

Been there, done that. Still married but it still sucked and I nearly had a breakdown (SN children).

Getting your ducks in a row pots? But yes, OP, this needs sorting out now. Don't let him get away with it. His work is probably enjoyable; dealing with a screaming baby and shitty nappies definitely ISN'T!

Part of the issue is that up until recently I was a sahm along with childminding at home so he just got used to me being here all the time. Now I’m back working part time and am exhausted trying to do everything. Will just have to sit him down tomorrow and spell it out to him that things need to change and quick. Step one is cleaner starting next week but i am also making a point to taking time out each day.

I'm the woman who threw her husband's mobile in the pool while on holiday so I wouldn't advise sucking it up. I would advise buying in lots of help at his expense because the chances of him being any use are vanishingly small.

Have you spoken to him calmly about it? Because you say he's always been like this so from his point of view he doesn't need to make any changes as you still chose to have a baby with him.

I plan to have a chat with him tomorrow. It isn’t something that can be changed overnight due to his now rediculous workload. In the meantime our cleaner will be helping out as well as maybe an extra afternoon of childcare so I get some time to myself.

I’ve often thought about this, how are we to know when we are so in love and happy with our soon that be husband that he will actually be pretty useless as a partner when kids come along.

how are we to know when we are so in love and happy with our soon that be husband that he will actually be pretty useless as a partner when kids come along.

If he was a workaholic before children, then it's a pretty sure bet that this will continue after they arrive.

If he doesn't clean up after himself before getting married, getting married won't suddenly make him tidier.

If he's stingy with money when you're dating then he isn't going to be any more generous as the relationship progresses.

And so on...
Yes there are always things that are surprising, but a lot of things are obvious right from the start.

I just love how honest and frank people are on this site. It’s refreshing. So we had a ‘chat’ and hope to make a few changes in the coming months. Dh brought dd out for a few hours so I got to relax for a while and also get organised for the week. I have also come to realise I need to be more assertive and look after myself more.