To ask husband to not go to the pub anymore?!?

[ApplePieIsAmazing]

For some reason whenever my DH goes out for a night with his friends he always ends up stopping a fight. It's not him or his friends starting the fights (that I'm aware of) but he always gets involved when there is a punch up.

Twice now I have been woken up to phone calls saying how he's okay but he stopped a fight, I get nervous every time he goes out! WIBU to say no more going to pubs at night or at the very least stop intervening and just call the police??

Now He's not answering his phone!

Of course your worried OP. I would be in nerves every time my husband went out in your position - and really fucked off.

He needs to make better choices and you are not being unreasonable to expect him to make them.

This is him before he goes out, right???

Is this a Weatherspoons?

What? Why does he call and wake you up? What does he expect you to do?

Tell him his acts of 'heroism' seem incredibly avoidable and therefore unimpressive. Tell him not to call you again.

Unless he's going to an actual fight club, I'd say this is happening either too often to be true, or he and his mates are out looking for conflict. Either way, stop rewarding him wth attention.

What a knob.

Next times he's headed to the pub, get him to sign a life insurance policy on his way out the door and then cheerily wave him off.

Tell him to find a less scummy pub! For fights to be breaking out this often it must be an absolute pit.

Sounds a bit to me.

Are you sure he's not the one starting these fights?

Sounds like children playing out and one child keep knocking to let another parent know that their child is smoking/throwing stones or something else deemed that the parents will find naughty.

Attention seeking and most people don't respond once they realise that's what's happening.

If this is true, of course.

Turns out he just told someone it's not worth it, so I suppose he prevented a fight but didn't stop one. If that makes sense.

And he felt that was note worthy enough to contact you and tell you.

A young lad was pissed off at work the other day. Really raging with his manager and said 'I just wanted to smack him' I said 'dont be daft, he was a dick but it's not worth it'. In no way would I start telling people 'I stopped a fight'.

He sounds like a man child. Wanting mummy to tell him how brave he is.

FWIW, my dp was a doorman until recently. 6ft 4in and vuolt like a brick shit house. He doesnt behave like this. Your dh acts like this because he likes people to view him as a peace making hero.

In this case, a man is continuingly putting himself in harm's way which, if worse came to worse, would affect his whole family in an awful way.

But he isnt. On this particular occasion he simply told someone it wasnt worth it. He wasnt in danger. He is just exaggerating to try and impress op. I am willing to bet, that 99% of occasions are him grossly exaggerating.

Hero complex and exaggerating. I dated someone like that once, he intervened when a man got nasty towards my friend and told us several other times he had had to do the same. We thought he was a lovely guy.

It soon became apparent he'd exaggerated his part in some and threw himself as the 'hero' into others.

So he’s got aggressive drunks as friends, hangs out in a pub where fights are a regular thing, and he tends to phone you afterwards to boast about his fight-quelling capacities? Nice.

Another vote for him basically being full of **it.

Sounds dramatic and likes he's trying to get attention/pretend he's a hero or something.
Especially with the telling you what happened and then ignoring your messages and calls when you're trying to find out if he's ok.

Next time he goes out put your phone on silent and enjoy your evening.

Sounds to me like he used this excuse and liked the results, and now he’s not bright enough to think of any other excuses for shitty behaviour. Honestly, DP’s at the pub, having a fat old time, giving you no thought whatsoever, probably pissing people off and he brings out this old chestnut because it has always worked.

Hero complex and exaggerating

Exactly this. Sounds an irritating little bastard. Have you asked him why on earth he called you and woke you up to tell you he'd told someone it's not worth it? And then why he did not answer his phone? He knows exactly what he is doing. He knows that he has you sat at home worrying about him. It's just attention seeking and it's working.. It's up to you to put a stop to it or it will go on and on.

Tell him he has every right to hang out with idiots and go to dodgy pubs, but this seems to be quite a pattern and you don't want to hear about these stupid antics anymore. Turn your phone off when he goes out.

Sounds a bit dramatic and attention seeking.

I wouldn’t stop your DH going somewhere, that is BU. But no reason you can’t tell him to stop with the weird behaviour.

He sounds like an attention seeker

If his friends are troublemakers, why are they his friends? Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas.