Aibu to suggest we meet each other's parents?

[chocolateandcocktails001]

I know I'm not being unreasonable but I know this will be turned around and suggested that I am so I need a bit of support to remind me that I'm not.

So back story.. I've posted yesterday in relationships titled 'is my boyfriend emotionally unavailable'.
Basically we have been together since December 2016 but did split up in 2017 as he didn't want to commit.
He contacted me and said that he did want commitment so we got back together. I still feel like he is keeping me at arms length and doesn't want to commit. Next weekend is the weekend we usually spend together but my parents are over. He's never met them and I've never met his. I've suggested he comes over to meet them but said it needs to work both ways and I'd also expect to meet his parents. He initially avoided the topic in his reply. I asked him again and he said he needs to think about it and we can discuss tomorrow. I always think the worse so am expecting him to have an excuse or say no and have a reason why meeting parents isn't appropriate. Please tell me that it's completely appropriate to meet your partners parents after 2 years and that I'm not being unreasonable!!

No. it's perfectly reasonable. But, I think it may also be irrelevant.

"He contacted me and said that he did want commitment so we got back together. I still feel like he is keeping me at arms length and doesn't want to commit."

This is what is relevant.

I agree with WhereYouLeftIt.

Actions speak way louder than words. He's not committed, unfortunately.

He's just not that into you....

We met parents after 2 months if that... every relationship where I haven't met parents or it's taken a while they never lasted more than a few months....

I dont think he is that serious about you. Sorry OP

I think you've put up with this for long enough, please save yourself more heartache and leave this loser.

I know someone who was like this. It’s because his parents are absolutely horrible. The first thing out of his mothers mouth when she left was a tirade of very classist disparagements about the poor girl. And then there’s my DH. I didn’t meet my husbands father until the day before our wedding and DH never met my mother.

Unless he lives with you, OP, you're the other woman.

My DF met my family pretty early on however he isn't that close to his parents. They live on the other side of the country and my DF doesn't want to go back. I met his Mum four years into our relationship and we're eight years in now and I've still not met his Dad. He hasn't seen his Dad either or met his new Dad's wife of four years.

So, I'm not someone who says just because you've not met them doesn't mean he isn't committed to you however he has already told you that he doesn't want commitment before and it does sound like he's not going to. You've got to decide what you want.

I was reluctant for my now dh to meet my parents. It was actually because they were nasty, racist bullies and I embarrassed by them

@BogglesGoggles has a good point. When my DF saw his Mum after four years and I met her for the first time - the first thing she said to him was a whole lot of abuse.

There is a possibility they aren't nice people. You need to speak to him and have a proper chat with him. Find out why he doesn't want you to meet them and depending on what he says, you decide whether that's enough for you or not.

Just a word of warning, if it’s tge case that they’re not nice do have a hard think about whether you want to pursue the relationship. In my case I knew what I was getting into and it was also beneficial that my spouse understood the my relationship with my mother. But she’s dead now do no longer and if I were to find myself single again I would only pursue a relationship with someone with problem parents if they were no contact or that person was really really special. Having horrible in laws is not pleasant to deal with.

@fiveredbricks that went from zero to sixty in 0.7 seconds but also possibility. That does happen sometimes. Have you met anyone else in his life? My DH instroduced me to his extended family instead of his parents for example.

Does he make plans with you in the future, such as holidays? I think that is more telling than meeting parents. In my experience, people who are emotionally unavailable feel as though they've been kicked in the stomach when a partner suggests booking a holiday 9 months in advance. They cope better when it's all on their terms - a holiday or event they want and they get to ask you.
Have you met many of his friends? Does he willingly socialise with your friends?

I would find this a deal breaker op. Is he 14?! You have known each other for two years and he is considering refusing to meet your parents . I mean. Wtf??

I don't think his parents are horrible from what I hear about them so I don't think it's that plus they don't live far away either.
No I haven't met any of his family and he hasn't met mine. Given that we see each other on a schedule due to work and kids, I thought I'd see if anything came up on weekends when we would usually be together rather than arranging something specific, and now it has.
I however have met his kids and he's met mine. I've met his (who are teenagers) about 8 times over the last year but I don't think they know we are in a relationship.
We have made arrangements in advance but not anything massively significant, in January we made provisional arrangements for camping in July . We have also just booked for Alton towers in September which was his suggestion.

You haven't met any of his family
His teenage children are unaware that you're in a relationship with their father
He is not interested in meeting your parents next weekend and you feel he will make an excuse to avoid

You sound like a fwb
Sorry OP