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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What does working from home mean to you

95 replies

Ilovepizzatoomuch · 27/04/2019 13:09

Firstly will start by saying I know that I am lucky to even have the option to work from home, as I know many people don't have that option.

Dh works in a manual job where he can't work from home.

So to me working from home means just that - do the same work but from home. I stop to do a quick lunch I don't normally have a lunch break at work either as I prefer to leave early to pick DC up if I can.

Dh seems to think that if I am at home I should be doing everything round the house...cleaning the kitchen, bathroom, doing the washing, ironing etc.

I do put an odd load of washing on and empty the dishwasher but that's about it.

I worked from home this week and dh came home complaining that u hadn't done enough around the house, when I had been working for 8 hours straight and got loads of work done.

He doesn't seem to grasp that I actually have to work and not just answer the odd email.

OP posts:
zoomies1 · 27/04/2019 15:18

My DH was the same until he started working from home. He didn’t understand why I hadn’t done the shopping, walked to dog AND been for a run (although I combine those two now), emptied the dishwasher, done the washing, cleaned the kitchen and done dinner. Now he is at home he will maybe do one of those things....

Why do some people need everything spelling out to them?

MaverickSnoopy · 27/04/2019 15:29

I'm on mat leave from a job that I work from home permanently, bar one day a week in the office. My commute on that day is 4 hours total during which time I work.

On my days at home I work as if I would in an office. However I do do something while the kettle boils, whether it's hanging some of the washing or emptying the dishwasher. I do the organised mum method (30 mins chores each day) in my hour lunch break - I'd do that and then eat lunch. I'd usually do about 30 mins extra a day at the end of the day and some days work through lunch, just depended on how busy it was.

There is no way I'd have time for what your DH is suggesting and tbh I wouldn't want to even if I did. It wouldn't be right.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 27/04/2019 15:47

Me and my husband work from home 1 day a week. To us it means doing a normal full days work, and maybe fitting in a bit of extra stuff in on the time you've saved getting ready and commuting. Usually do a load of washing and tumble drying and prepare dinner but that's about it.

Your husband is being a massive idiot as it really isn't a difficult concept to grasp, the clue is in the title! Your boss would soon find out if your productivity dropped and it's not that hard with any employees they have concerns over to check what they're doing online or make you come into the office instead

But also, even if you've got a quiet day and dont have much to do, what kind of person gets annoyed at their other half not doing enough unless they've promised to do something and they haven't or they consistently dont do their share?

Schuyler · 27/04/2019 15:48

YANBU. I work from home sometimes. I am unavailable during these hours, unless for childcare emergencies or similar, whether I’m at the office, seeing clients or at home. As it happens, I used my lunchbreak to empty the dishwasher and other small tasks but I don’t always take a break, so it varies. Working from home for me is working from home. Door closed and in office mode.

SleepingSloth · 27/04/2019 15:53

I work from home a lot. I put a wash on, hang it, pick the kids up from school etc. As long as the work gets done and I'm available for calls, it's very flexible. In return, sometimes I do have to take a calls late at night or work late if there's something important on.

I definitely wouldn't be cleaning the bathroom or doing the weekly shop though.

TanMateix · 27/04/2019 15:54

I work from home on certain days. I am normally more productive even if I enter less hours in my timesheet. Apart of tidying after myself at lunch, I don’t do any housework, I was working from home when DS was younger but I was doing it while he was asleep (8pm to 2am shifts) as it was IMPOSSIBLE to do anything well, when he was up

ScreamingValenta · 27/04/2019 15:59

If you're employed (not self-employed) and working from home, you need to be working on the tasks your employer has set, not the housework! You're not being paid to hoover the living room or crack on with the washing up. Confused

AftonGlen · 27/04/2019 16:07

When I worked at home I might do some laundry or quickly hoover the living room but I wouldn't really have time to do much else as I was being paid to do my actual job not to do housework!
I think it's very unreasonable to expect someone to do extra household chores just because they are working at home.

SleepingSloth · 27/04/2019 16:13

If you're employed (not self-employed) and working from home, you need to be working on the tasks your employer has set, not the housework! You're not being paid to hoover the living room or crack on with the washing up.

This is my second job where I have been able to work from home. Neither employer has cared that I've done some house stuff/childcare whilst working at home as long as my work is done. I more than do my hours.

NeedAUsernameGenerator · 27/04/2019 16:17

DH works from home and I don't expect him to do anything during his working hours although he will occasionally do a washload. He does do all the sick child days though, which seems fair. I can't work from home in my job due to being person-facing.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 27/04/2019 16:21

I work from home twice a week. On those days my teens somehow become incapable of getting a bus, DH repeatedly texts with “.... if you’ve got time could you ...”. Friends knock on the door hoping for a cuppa.

It all drives me mad. IM WORKING!

Snog · 27/04/2019 16:56

I use the time I've saved from commuting ie 1 hour to do household jobs, so I get a fair bit done.

TeacupDrama · 27/04/2019 17:57

I work from home but I am self employed, DH also mostly works from home
DH has to be reminded regularly not to interrupt to discuss things as though I can do it later I'm a morning person I actually want to complete what I need to do while DD at school not at 9pm, some aspects of what I do have to be at certain times, there are postal deadlines etc
I do have a greater flexibility than those that are employed but at home but if I faff around all day on mumsnet doing laundry etc I just end up having to work late evening so I don't, I do answer the phone and doorbell as we do get lots of courier deliveries of stock parts equipment etc I put laundry in machine while kettle boiling or transfer it from machine to drier to wash lunch things
we both take the same lunch so we have half an hour to chat without DD and tell each other what plans are as we both go out we need to ensure someone is here for when DD dropped off my school bus
but neither of us cut grass iron etc during working day DH is more of a night owl so often he does work late and get up late
2-3 times a fortnight I need to go to city 30 miles away, I always do the supermarket shopping on the way back as we live quite rural and it saves another big trip a different day, I try and combine banking with when DD has swimming etc
it can be trickier when DD off school but i'm working, I do try and work less hours in holidays so she does have to amuse herself for a few hours each day, screen time goes up but I tell her leave me to work all morning I'll take 15 mins at 11am to catch up then after lunch i'll just do 1 hour then we can go do something else or have a friend round ( I don''t have friends round when i'm actually working it doesn't work I get interrupted every 10-15 mins)

sackrifice · 27/04/2019 18:03

When I work from home I am just working from home not doing housework and personal calls. I am, however, guilty of just working from bed, with cat and laptop.

I literally could not get my head around this.

this is my 19th year working from home; I get up and get dressed into smart clothes before I even come down the stairs. I couldn't work from bed if I tried.

SleepingSloth · 27/04/2019 18:12

I am, however, guilty of just working from bed, with cat and laptop.

😂😂😂 That's so funny.

AgentJohnson · 27/04/2019 18:15

Congratulations, you’ve married a twat. I bet if he had the opportunity to work from home he wouldn’t do half the things he expects you to do.

Tell him to jog on.

Purpleartichoke · 27/04/2019 18:17

Working from home means I go into my
Home office, close the door, sit at my desk and work. My employer is paying for my time and focus and I will not risk my job and the large convenience of WFH by not providing it.

Instead of a coffee break And quick chat with a coworker, I might dump in an already ready load of laundry or hit the clean button on the roomba. Occasionally I make myself a nicer lunch than a quick sandwich or do something to prep dinner, but that all happens during my lunch break.

M0reGinPlease · 27/04/2019 20:04

@thecatsthecats it's more the implied laziness. Obviously you're free to wear what you wish, but I used to feel the office-based colleagues really resented the remote team as if we somehow had it easier when in reality most people who work from home work linger and harder because we don't have the distractions. It's easier to focus and be productive

Paddingtonthebear · 27/04/2019 20:07

I think it really depends what job you do and specifically, how senior you are. My husband works from home every now and then and can fit in non work related stuff in that time, if he wants to. He’s a senior head of department though. Most people who work from home have to structure it like their proper work day and can’t just do as they please!

Schuyler · 27/04/2019 21:37

Many people will find it is specific in their work polices and procedures, also potentially in their contacts, that working from home does not replace childcare.

YahBasic · 27/04/2019 21:44

I wfh twice a week and will normally do a load of washing & hang it out, load/unstack dishwasher, prepare dinner and either hoover/wipe down surfaces.

Probably takes me 30 mins max, and would do that instead of my commute to work.

PinkGlitter123 · 27/04/2019 21:50

I have a friend who earns mega money but does very little. 'Works from home' a lot, is able to pick her kid up from school, go out on day trips whenever she wants and has it very good.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 27/04/2019 22:01

DH works from home 2 or 3 days a weeks usually. He will put a load of washing on and start dinner but aside from that he's in his study with the door shut, working. His company are very clear that working from home is a privilege and will be withdrawn if they suspect people are not putting in a full day. One of his colleagues has been banned from WFH as he missed a work related call due to picking up his DC from school. The company's view was very much when you WFH you're at work, you shouldn't be picking the kids up on company time, you should arrange wraparound childcare as you would expect to on any other working day.

PinkGlitter123 · 27/04/2019 22:14

That's not the case with my friend. She is able to pick her D.C. up from school, do household chores and even spend some time with DC when she is meant to be working from home. Some people just have it very lucky I think. It also helps the higher up you are in the company. I do find you get away with doing less from watching my friend. Not the same for everyone but she certainly doesn't put in a full days work. Even a half day would be generous. Couple of hours is more like it.

DonnaDarko · 27/04/2019 22:19

I work from home and I have to be available for calls with the general public so I can never really step away from the computer to do housework! I do some bits before I start work and afterwards, but housework still needs to be shared.

But I agree with you, WFH doesn't mean you should be doing all the housework. In fact, I had a similar disagreement with my partner as he thought he would be coming home to a spotless house every day! (but he didn't realise I take phone calls all the time).