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Original poster

Toilet training advice please.

10 replies

Harleyisme · 27/04/2019 12:11

I am currently trying to to toilet train ny 5 year ds. He is awaiting diagnosis for autism.

We have him trying the toilet at napoy changes sometimes he manages a wee sometimes not. His nappies inbetween are wet.
I have been persuading him for a couple of hours a day to try in boxes in this time hes wetting at least 3 times and is trying toilet regular and is manging to wee sometimes. After a couple of hours of keep getting wet he gets distressed so we put him back in nappies and carry on with asking him to try and change times. He also doesn't use the toilet to poo. Yesterday when he pooped in his boxes he didn't even know.

He never attempts to go to the toilet alone only goes when told to. If you ask him a question like do you need a wee or poo its always no.

I have been told by school i need to make him as according to them last term he was weeing on the toilet at the set times and was dry inbetween. Now this confused me as before the holidays he kept coming home in his pe thongs had he had wet though hos nappy and was asked to provide extra trousers. I was also do a 3 weeks of Thursday afternoon stay and play session and on the last Thursday he pooped on his nappy.

Thing is today i am finding he is trying toilet more but not till after he has started weeing. Hes not seeming to get it before he starts. He has an appoinmnet in July with incontience team.
What wpuld be peoples advice keep doing it or stop and wait till july. I am only worried at how upset hes getting at the fact he keeps wetting himself.

OP posts:
Original poster
Harleyisme · 27/04/2019 12:51

Bump

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Original poster
Harleyisme · 28/04/2019 08:41

Bump

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Halo1234 · 28/04/2019 08:55

It's hard to do it if they just aren't ready and it sounds like he just isn't ready. I would try a weekend of going completely nappy free during the day. Take him to the toilet every two hours and encourage him to used it. Praise praise praise even for trying and dont get stressed over accidents just oh dear need to go to the toilet next time......I made the mistake of not wanting to make my dd feel bad for accidents so would say it's ok accidents happen. And she would believe that and just have an accident if she couldn't be bothered going to the toilet cause I was telling her it was ok. So I started saying oh no. That's a bit sad but we can try again next time. Rather that it's ok. If he isn't ready and u are all getting stressed I would leave it and try again when u are all in a positive mind with it, in a few weeks. It's good that he doesn't like being wet. My nephew didnt care if he was wet and was very hard to toilet train because the discomfort of being wet didnt bother him. Good luck. Stay calm. Once he is ready he will do it in a few days. Xx

Marmalady75 · 28/04/2019 09:16

Tbh if his appointment with the team who specialise in this is a couple of months away I’d stop trying to force it. Taking a break will allow your (and possibly his) stress levels to drop. Then you’ll be ready to try whatever is suggested in July.

Original poster
Harleyisme · 28/04/2019 09:38

Thank you both.

I had him in boxes yesterday from 11am till 3pm he wet every half hour at least and soiled twice. I was asking him to try toilet every half hour and he did also do 2 wees on the toilet. I put him back in nappies at 3 as hes getring very sore from wetting and soiling so much. He gets very distressed from being wet but hes still not going when weeing. If i see wet i take him to the toilet. Hes been in boxes since 8am and hes wet once, soiled once and had a wee once when i have told him to try.
His dad went to check him 10 minutes ago and he ran away thinking he had wet or soiled and he hadn't when his dad said hes fine he actually shouted woohoo.

OP posts:
Marmalady75 · 28/04/2019 12:30

It does sound like he just isn’t ready. We tried with my ds and he didn’t understand what was going on and constantly had accidents and was unaware. We went to pull ups for 3 months and tried again. The same happened. I gave it 6 months and we made the transition to pants ant that point. He still had accidents, but was aware that he was wet and needed to be changed. He refused to poo in the toilet and would actually wait until he was in bed to do it. It was 9 months from when he moved to pants until he regularly used the toilet to poo and that was down to bribery- a sweet in exchange for a poo. Some people will judge the bribery aspect, but i don’t really care because it worked for him. You do what is best for you and your child - stuff what other people think or tell you unless they are a medical professional (and even then they don’t know everything). It sounds like you are giving yourself a hard time. Remember children all develop at different rates.

cheaperthebetter · 28/04/2019 12:38

I put ping pong balls down my toilet so my DS aimed at them to score points and his DF played and kept points on white board on bathroom wall , he absolutely loved it and no accidents also my son is SEN
Good luck Thanks

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 28/04/2019 12:53

I would go back to pull ups for now. Encourage him to still ask for toilet if he needs it but don't push it.

Di11y · 28/04/2019 13:18

you might get some good advice on the SN board, perhaps move the thread or post linking this one?

Original poster
Harleyisme · 28/04/2019 13:29

Thanks everyone i have put him back in pads. We are asking and encouraging him to try toilet every nappy change and askong him to say if he needs toilet.

I did post on sen board but no one replied.

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