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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this cheeky?

22 replies

HBStowe · 27/04/2019 10:20

I am having a birthday barbecue in a few weeks and have started letting people know as and when I see them. I invited my colleagues (small office) last week. I don’t expect most of them will come, but as there’s only 8 of us I feel like I should invite all or none.

One of my colleagues asked who else I was inviting (which I think is a weird question in the first place) and I said just friends, family, some of my husband’s friends and some people from my running club. The colleague then says something like ‘that’s loads! You’re obviously wanting lots of presents.’

Another colleague then says snarkily ‘or maybe she just has lots of friends?’, and colleague 1 says ‘there’s nothing wrong with wanting presents’.

As it happens, I’ve told people when I invite them that there’s absolutely no need to bring gifts, so I think I’m in the clear anyway. But is it cheeky to invite lots of people to a birthday party?! Despite the no-gifts rule I expect some people will bring things, so am I going to look like a grabby cow for inviting loads of people? Especially as some of the people I’ve invited I don’t know especially well (I.e. some running club people who I only know casually but are all part of the same group iyswim).

I’m probably overthinking it because the people I’m not especially close to will probably not come anyway, but I don’t want to look like a greed madam when actually I just like a party and didn’t want to exclude anyone!

OP posts:
outsho · 27/04/2019 10:21

I think it was an extremely lighthearted comment that you have taken far too seriously.

Sparklfairy · 27/04/2019 10:24

Don't sweat it Smile

Drogosnextwife · 27/04/2019 10:27

I'm not sure how the "maybe she has lots of friends" could be said snarkily? It sounds like she was defending you.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 27/04/2019 10:27

I wouldn’t worry either. Sounds like you might be getting presents though! 😁

BlueMerchant · 27/04/2019 10:28

You're over thinking it. It sounded to me like office banter.
I'd think nothing other than that you are a sociable person who enjoys a party but I could be guilty of making the present comment in a light-hearted jokey way. No way I'd be thinking it was true. It's just something people say.

Flamingo30 · 27/04/2019 10:30

I think you are over thinking it. Sounds like banter to me.

HBStowe · 27/04/2019 10:34

I'm not sure how the "maybe she has lots of friends" could be said snarkily? It sounds like she was defending you.

Sorry, that wasn’t clear - I meant she was snarky to my other colleague, not to me!

OP posts:
Al2O3 · 27/04/2019 10:37

Would you accept Debenhams vouchers?

Mosaic123 · 27/04/2019 10:51

Silly comment on their part. They are probably jealous that you know so many people! Hope it goes well and the weather behaves itself.

Walkaround · 27/04/2019 10:55

?? Are they expected to bring their own food and drink and barbecueing facilities? If not, then why on earth is it cheeky to invite lots of people? Surely it's being sociable and generous?

RandomAmanda · 27/04/2019 11:00

Would you accept Debenhams vouchers?

Grin
StillCoughingandLaughing · 27/04/2019 11:02

It’s a party. I thought the whole point was that you invite people. Hopefully present woman is busy.

whyohwhyowhydididoit · 27/04/2019 11:03

Of course it’s not cheeky. That’s pretty much what a party is for.

I would go very hard on the no presents thing though. I said it at my 50th and I still got given loads of stuff , 99% of which was not to my taste and went to a charity shop the following week.

Drum2018 · 27/04/2019 11:05

I wouldn't be inviting people that I don't know well just because they are part of a larger group. I have been invited to a few birthday parties over the years and I wouldn't go as I don't know the people well and never would have socialised with them. I think it's a bit odd to invite people you wouldn't be very friendly with. I was asked to a party recently by the wife of the birthday man, on the street. Don't know why she bothered. I know them to say hello to. Personally I think its like people are just trying to make a crowd so they will have lots of people there, but do you really want a bunch of people you don't even know well at a personal celebration?

Ohyesiam · 27/04/2019 11:07

You sound sociable and generous , you don want people left out, that’s admirable.
I have babe to hundreds of parties and be never once thought that the host was present harvesting.
You’re overthinking

MRex · 27/04/2019 11:09

It sounds fun, have a good time.

ImNotHappyaboutitPauline · 27/04/2019 11:11

Or maybe Drum she thinks you seem like a nice person, would like to become friends, and thought an invite to a social event would be a step in that direction?

I think it shows how negative and small minded some people are that they can turn a simple invitation (not a summons Wink) into something to judge and criticize people over!

Sculpin · 27/04/2019 11:13

You are def overthinking it! Invite who you like and stop worrying!

GabsAlot · 27/04/2019 11:18

she just sounds jealous u can invite anyone you want

Bringbackthestripes · 27/04/2019 11:26

But is it cheeky to invite lots of people to a birthday party?

Not at all. It wouldn’t be a party if you only invited one or two people. You are overthinking it. You know a lot of people and are obviously sociable. Don’t give the comments another thought.

Margot33 · 27/04/2019 11:32

You're over thinking it. It's just office banter. Stick to no gifts, just bring a dish. It will be lovely, have a great birthday.

sackrifice · 27/04/2019 11:37

But is it cheeky to invite lots of people to a birthday party?

In my book they call this a 'large birthday party'. As opposed to a 'small birthday party' which is when you invite a small number of people.

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