Slightly outing so NC. I am so sorry this is long
My Dsis has a dog. She also has small DC and she’s been struggling with Ddog’s behaviour. Ddog likes to wee all over things. Dog is lovely tempered but a bit anxious and dsis has tried many behaviour specialists nothing seems to work for long.
My DM has helped Dsis with the dog during holidays or house renovations, savings her ££ with kennels.
Back story of DM is that she does not help with the DC or anything else at all in our lives. DM does not drive, is not in good health and cannot take the dog to the vet, long walks or for grooming so this falls to me. I ferry DM everywhere she needs to go. DM makes a big fuss over how Dsis ‘does not look after the dog properly’ but won’t consider taking dog herself because she doesn’t want the associated costs or responsibilities of dog owning. DM also complains a lot about having to buy dog food and Dsis always pays her back.
I do not have small children and this time offered to have Ddog while Dsis went on holiday. Dog needed to be groomed and i sorted this out. DM was put out that dog came to my house not hers and made a bit of fuss about how much she loved the dog too so I handed the dog over after a week to keep the peace shut her up. DM did this fuss by talking directly to the dog about how she was sorry the dog couldn’t come to her house this time round and faux crying faces, how much they would miss each other etc.
DM had been texting me constantly making assumptions that I would be struggling with the dog and I could bring dog to her earlier.
Then DM wanted to go on a holiday herself so I had to go back to get the dog after another week. The poor dog has been back and forth
I got locked out of DM house when I went to collect dog - completely my fault as I have lost the keys unexpectedly and hadn’t realised until I went to grab them then turned my whole house upside down. I have moved house and jobs in the past 2 months and they got lost. I arranged and paid for a locksmith so I could rescue the dog it was sorted in 2 hours. I phoned DM to tell her what was going on but I had it in hand and to apologise for having to change the lock and her instant reaction was ‘how on Earth did you manage to lose the keys?’ Etc etc (no solutions only problems) and making me feel completely shit when I am already stressed and overwhelmed.
DM has had no expense to pay as I paid it and Dsis has offered to pay it. There is no damage to any doors and DM will get a new key at no knock on effect to her (she is the only one with a key). I got really angry at her because the only reason I had to go all the way back for the dog was because she wanted to enjoy the dog for a week before her holiday instead of leaving with me all along. She cannot see how much extra stress this has caused me and is upset with me for being horrible to her by pointing this out
Dsis is obviously feeling guilty too but I don’t know how we resolve this. Dog has to live with one of the 3 of us but I feel like it can’t be me but only because of DM’s behaviour as she wants all the glory of the dog loving and adoring her but not any of the responsibility!
Sorry so long
FYI the only house the dog doesn’t piss in is mine!