I got pregnant when I was 21. I was in a long term relationship and was using Personna as contraception. I got pregnant. I was is in an abusive(in all ways) relationship. My partner told me no way could I keep the baby and I went along with it. I was just under 9 weeks so had a termination where I essentially gave birth to my child. I don't know what the technical term for what that is. My partner used to take great pleasure in causing me pain and even said that he found the whole experience erotic. Obviously now I see that he was a complete psycho but it ruined me at the time. It took another 4 years for me to have the courage to leave him. My main point is though is that I feel such guilt over the termination. My therapist has told me that it wouldn't be fair bringing a child into a world where the partner is abusive and clearly unwell. I have been depressed for many years about this. Can somebody please help me feel better about what I can't help but seeing as a a terrible thing. I absolutely do not want to cause any upset or offense to anyone who has gone through this but the guilt is eating me away.