To think it’s over and he is trying to crawl back

[Followingup]

I posted before on a situation where my very close friend met a girl. He reduced contact from multiple times daily to a generic text every few days despite seeing him every day . All normal by all opinions here but it hurt me as I felt very used as a en emotional crutch and would advise and guide him etc. I got great advose here but as the posts went on it became clear that I was his back up for contact and ego boost . The relationship appears to have hit a wall somewhat. It seems to be cooling from his side and I notice that he is back in regular contact , much more so than usual . I’m not sure how to deal with this as I like him
Very much as a person and he has been a great friend to me over the years . I don’t want to get sucked right back on but At the same time I enjoy the contact. Any advice on how to navigate this please . Many posters predicted this at the time funnily enough . Thanks

Isn't normal to dip in and out of contact with friends? If you were in an intense relationship you would do the same.
Friendship are like that. Sometimes I see my friends all the time or text. Sometimes it can be months.
Just be busy with your life and maybe have a chat with him about how it makes you feel. Maybe he'll be more consistent in the future. I doubt it but at least he knows how you feel.

Thanks . Just goes from nearly zero to full on intensity

Anybody else experience this???

I suppose it depends how busy your life is to a degree.. I have a close male friend who I supported through a difficult breakup, we were 24/7 texts etc but now he is back on an even keel and we text occasionally - I couldn't have kept up the level of contact we had during the breakup but I'm married with kids and dogs so it was a needs must at the time then back to normal for me. I know not the same circumstances but thats my experience..

I remember your previous post. I would take time to reply, be busy, basically keep a bit of distance and interact with him on YOUR TERMS not his!

I have friends I have made a conscious decision to put up with this from. They're worth it for me. Some aren't. You set your boundaries.

Don't expect him to change so you decide if you want him how he is or not.

Weren't you going to block him? Or I might be remembering a different thread.

Either way he sounds like he's messing with your emotions and using you. Block him!

I would be most annoyed at the expectation you will be available for high intensity contact again when he so wishes. At his beck and call are you?

Yes friendships wax and wane but if you've been distant the coming back together is tentative, careful and apologetic. Have you had an unprompted apology and explanation for being dumped so rudely?

How are you responding to this full intensity?

How's your ego?

It sounds tough Followingup,that said, the language you use such as “crawling back” arguably belongs more to a romantic relationship than a close friendship. Is it worth getting clear about how you really feel about this friend? I think as PP have said it’s normal for friendships to ebb and flow a bit but you might find it harder to deal with if you subconsciously hope for something more from this friendship. What happens the other way round? Is he happy to support you similarly flexibly when you need it?

Thanks for replies yesterday. No romantic but tweets but was extremely annoyed when I was unceremoniously dumped as a friend . There is no apologetic or tentative tone , just an increase in contact and a yearning for spending time together. His relationship is still ongoing albeit slowing down remarkably fast . He seems to be creating distance between his girlfriend and he . Let the shitstorm begin. I just do not want part of it but don’t know how to handle him

Just be really really slow to answer his messages. When you do answer, give a fairly short response.

I missed your first thread i think. But i had a close male friend who got a girlfriend who took against me and he basically told me he wasn't allowed to talk to me anymore and disappeared out of my life. He didn't try to reason with his girlfriend, just cut all contact with me. Fine, his choice, i missed his company but of that's what he wanted then that's what he wanted.
When he split up with his girlfriend he rocked back up and expected us to be as close as we were before. I didn't exactly tell him to get stuffed but we're not close anymore, I'm not a friend to be chucked aside and picked up again. I get friendships don't stay the same when people are in the first flush of a new relationship but being completely dumped is a step too far.