To be fed up of being asked to do extra hours...

[peppaisannoying]

I work part time in the evenings after looking after our 3 year old and 1 year old by myself since about 5am, then I go to work until 9pm. 3 out of 5 evenings as well as a long shift on a Saturday. I'm also doing a qualification at the moment, which takes up quite a bit of time. On top of a 1 year old that doesn't know what more than 2-3 hours consecutive sleep is, I'm knackered.

However I get harassed weekly by my manager to do more than my contractural hours. If I say no I get the silent treatment and it is really awkward. I hate it so I have ended up saying yes lots recently. He promises people time off without getting the cover first, I get that it needs to be covered but surely that's a massive failure on his part. He also leaves it really last minute, so he says I might need help the week of xyz then when I say ok, let me know ASAP what shifts you need covering and I'll see where I can help. I'll chase it and still nothing until the week or two before and when I've made plans or can't source childcare at such short notice he'll be furious that I can no longer help.

Am I being that unreasonable? I've just said no to working Sunday and Saturday this weekend and dreading my shift this evening.

Of course you're not unreasonable and your manager is incompetent. I'd be looking for another job elsewhere.

Is it just you he asks to do extra shifts or is it everyone?

Regardless it's not your problem as he needs to have an appropriate number of staff to cover staff holidays and sick leave etc.

Personally I'd say to him because of the kids and your studying you are not currently able to take on any extra hours, and be firm on this.

I used to be in a similar position (work as a nurse in a hospital which is always short staffed), and was constantly being asked to do extra shifts and called on my days off. I found now I just say no due to childcare issues, and keep saying no if the subject comes up, and eventually I stopped getting asked because people knew I would say no.

OP, my DP has the exact same issue! He works shifts and is always being nagged to come in on his days off. Like with you, it's often very last minute. Sometimes on the actual day he's being asked. His manager will spam his phone and get very huffy if he says no.

You're certainly not being unreasonable! It drives both of us nuts. I think it's unfair. These managers need to plan ahead better. There's no harm in asking for cover, but they shouldn't get moody if you say no.

He asks me more than anyone because he thinks others have better excuses and I've "only been at home all day". also his best friend works in the same department and it's often his last minute holiday demands that fuck up the rota.

It's so frustrating because other than that it's the perfect job, perfect location and perfect contractual hours for me right now. And I don't have much interaction with him in my actual work. Maybe he just senses that I absolutely hate confrontation and I need to be more direct?

My job is the same my manager is incompetent also. Most including me are on 0 hour contracts and I do normally 21-25 hours week. Others are full time. Full timers always asking for time off due to hospital apps etc so they expect me to cover except they don't ask we have an app with the rota on and suddenly I see I'm on rota for 70 hours and I have a 4 year old and 13 year old.

You are not being unreasonable, obviously, and he is in not being more helpful in respect of notice.

I think you need to say that you are prepared to do x hours maximum per week/month extra at a push but you need sufficient notice (and state what that needs to be), otherwise you can't guarantee you'll be able to assist. Say you have been helping him out without notice but that is impacting on your other responsibilities hence you need more notice.

Him telling you you'll be needed to work extra hours in advance but not specifying exactly what means he is just using you. Sounds like you are his 'back up' option. He probably thinks he is being reasonable telling you in advance but the reality, as you have found with only late notice of the extra hours, is that he isn't. At best he's thoughtless; worst case he's a user.

You have made things more difficult for yourself, unwittingly, by being helpful. Now you need to set the parameters going forward.

Of course, it all depends on what you risk as in losing your job, and the ramifications that will have for you but unless you set out your stipulations he will continue to take the pee. And if you've been doing the job for less than two years or are on a zero hours contract then you could find yourself with no work.

Could you find other work with hours to suit? Do you have other options?

I’m guessing you work in either retail or hospitality? I worked in both throughout uni and it was EXACTLY like this!!

I was at uni and also ran a house (mature student) and I didn’t even have children so lord knows how you’re doing it all!!

I had that manager ‘can you work an 8 hour tomorrow?’ On a weekend before my uni deadlines 🙄

You need to get a bit of nounce I’m afraid. Pull your manager to one side and be very clear

‘I just wanted to mention the overtime situation. I want to help but as you know, I have childcare and studies to juggle so unless I have 3 weeks + notice then I won’t be able to help out and won’t feel guilty about that. I took a X hours contract because that’s what fits in with my life and whilst I don’t mind helping out here and there because ofc I am a team player, If there is a consistent need for overtime then we should be hiring another member of staff.’

If he gives you any further stick I’d throw in a ... ‘You can’t peanilise me for having children, or commitments outside of this part time role. To punish me for not working outside of my contracted hours is both immoral and highly illegal.’