Who is the CF here?

[FunkyColdMedina19]

Hi all. I live in a small terraced house and one set of neighbours are regular weed smokers. They are lovely people, but with summer coming up and windows being open again I'm dreading the smell, especially with washing hanging on the line.
The other day I said to my dp that I wouldnt be hanging dd's bedding out to dry due to the smell, so would just hang it over the maiden. This was said in our kitchen with window open while they were in their garden, so I was hoping they'd overhear.
Since then I haven't smelt it much but also haven't been home much, however I've smelt enough whifcs to know they haven't stopped.
A friend came round for a coffee the other day and popped in to our garden for a cigarette. The neighbours apparently stormed inside and slammed their door while muttering about the smell.
I can understand that if they overheard me complaining then they might think we're hypocrites but surely after over a year of daily pot smoking, they can't hold 1 cigarette to the same standard?!
So whos in the wrong here and wwyd?

You were passive aggressive with your comments. Why couldn't you speak to them?

I've spoke to them in the past and they agreed they would try to be more considerate but nothing changed so I don't see the point of trying again

Them of course; one cigarette does not trump a year of weed smoking. I think you’ve been very tolerant as I would have said something far earlier.

You're both childish.

Well, smoking weed is illegal, so just call the police.

They are being twats, my neighbours all smoke and they regularly have people round to smoke with them in their garden and I dread the summer for this very reason. I am a childminder so it looks so bad to parents if they come to collect kids and my house stinks of smoke because I've had the windows open. I have nothing against smoking, but I don't smoke so my house shouldn't smell of it, weed is even stronger and it bloody stinks so it's even worse for you.

If they’ve got the message and stopped smoking outside your house I’d call that a result.

I don't want to get the police involved, that seems like a big escalation and they are, besides the smoking, really nice neighbours. It's their house and garden and I don't want to be that neighbour that kicks up a fuss but I really hate the smell and there is no escaping it in such small, terraced housing

You're a lot more tolerant than I would be.

Complain to their landlord about drug use at the premises.

We have the same problem with our neighbours - although it tends to be very early in the morning (6 ish - he likes one before work) or at night. Smells really strong, can be clearly smelt in all the rooms at the back of our house.

We have asked him to smoke down wind, which he agreed to, but hasn't really changed anything. I think the storming inside thing was to annoy you, as clearly they can't be bothered by cigarette smoke.

I'm afraid you'll either have to try and tsk to them again or just learn to live with it.

I'm afraid the police (where I live anyway) are far too under resourced to be bothered about someone smoking weed in their own home.

They own their house so no landlord to speak to unfortunately. I suppose i'll have to speak to them again but I hate any kind of confrontation so any ideas what I can say without ruining neighbourly relations?

In answer to your question, you're both being CF. Them because they smoke weed in the garden and make everything stink, and you because you talk loudly in your kitchen with the window open hoping that they will overhear instead of pulling up your big girl panties and actually speaking to them.

Happy to help you out in your dilemma.

They are the CF.

Do they smoke and drive? I’d have huge issues with that and that’s something I would report.

Your friend smoking her cigarette gave them an opportunity for retaliation so they took it. Of course there is no equivalence between the two but there it is

Well I think they are cf they are smoking an illegal substance continually and the second hand smoke from it is drifting in to your garden and home where your children are inhaling this second hand smoke and they get all uppity because they overhear you mention to your dh that you can't hang clothes out in your garden because they are getting contaminated with their illegal pot fumes. They should be calling round grovelling and apologising for the nuisance they are causing

You were passive aggressive and pathetic, talk to them directly by all means but it's their right to what they want in their own home and garden.

However, I don't see why they'd 'storm' into the house, that's seems a strange over reaction.

If they didn’t smoke weed I’d have more sympathy for your neighbours but as is they are pathetic. Practice what they preach perhaps??

It is not their right to do what they want in their house and garden, it is illegal and very anti social given the pungent stench codenameduchess. Op you are far more tolerant than me. They are def CF.

What can I say to them then that won't cause too much backlash? I suffer with anxiety and the thought of not getting on with my neighbours fills me with dread, my home is my safe space

OP 'hello neighbours, the smell of your weed is quite strong in our house and garden, is there any chance you could smoke away from our house?' They will either agree or refuse, no need for passive aggressive comments through windows hoping they over hear (which would quite rightly piss them off and makes you look childish). If they refuse then you either accept, call the police or move. There's always a convenient anxiety update on these threads.

People smoke weed, it's legal in many places and I suspect will be made legal in the UK before too long.

For a society that claims to promote tolerance there is a lot of unnecessary hate being spewed towards smokers. Yes it's not healthy and smells but it's an addiction, tobacco or weed, if it was alcohol there would be an awful lot more sympathy and understanding.

I've already said something along those lines and they said they would be more considerate but that didn't happen.
I have no problem with people smoking, cigarettes or otherwise, i smoked fags for near 10 years but I was always considerate of other people and my surroundings. I stopped, partly due to the stench, and I don't fancy my stuff still stinking due to somebody else.

As for the anxiety update, I think I have done posts before that mention it. It wasn't relevent to this post up until that point. I try not to base my life around my anxiety however it does impact in some situations.

No advice, just sympathy. My neighbours smoke so much fucking weed and I hate it. It has this awful kind of sticky quality that seems to cling to everything around it and lingers for AGES. The stale smell a few days after one of their ‘parties’ is even worse.

I do know that some weed smokers are weirdly judgy and preachy about tobacco though and seem to think it’s disgusting. Maybe your neighbours are some of those. I’ve seen a guy on Instagram who’s very much of the ‘my body is a temple, raw vegan only, drugs and alcohol are evil’ variety but then he also goes on about how great weed is

I would be having another conversation with them and explain the smell gets into your house and it’s just not acceptable. Either they stop, or go somewhere else to smoke away from all the houses

It’s also illegal to smoke and drive, and if you are seeing them drive after smoking in my opinion you are just as culpable as they are if they hot and injure someone. I would be reporting them to the police 8n the same way as i would report any drink driving

You are both in the wrong. They both smell disgustingly.