To think my mother missed a trick growing up?

7 replies

CantDoThisAnymore1 · 26/04/2019 03:11

This really isn’t a TAAT. But have been musing about non pushy v non pushy parents.

I remember being 6/7/8 years old and being so fascinated by my DM cleaning our house. She was very House proud and everything was spick and span.

I asked her, no, positively begged her, if I could vacuum the floors and polish the car. It looked like so much fun!

But, the answer was NO!!! And so I never did.

And now? I fucking HATE cleaning. And now spend a fortune on cleaners and valets.

I’m resentful towards my DM for not encouraging me to get into the habit of chores in childhood and now it’s too late to take it up.

AIBU?

OP posts:

HerRoyalNotness · 26/04/2019 03:13

Well on the flip side, my mother made us do housekeeping, cooking dinners and grocery shopping from an early age. I can’t stand it now. My house is messy and never really clean, I do the basics to get by, but that’s about it

midsummabreak · 26/04/2019 03:31

It is a skill that your parents should have taught you, and shared, you are right about that. But howcome you are not resentful towards your father for encouraging you to get into the habit of chores?

Can you actively reverse your thinking, perhaps try daily mantra;;
" I am a cleaning witch!
"See the whirlwind make it sparkle!"
"Watch and learn from the cleaning beast. "

Or practise daily meditation, while chanting
"Even though I was never trained to clean, I can astound others by slowly learning to make everything sparkling clean!"
What are the odds in you deciding to upskill now CantDoThisAmymore! ? How about you HerRoyalNotness?

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 26/04/2019 03:41

My mother kept a spick and span house, and encouraged me to help her. As a daughter it was expected - that's what girls did. She once said she was glad she had daughters so they could help her with the housework.
And ... I've grown up to loathe cleaning, can't stand it. I think you are either someone who likes it or hates it. Our differing childhood experiences would suggest that it's irrelevant whether you were brought up to clean or not to clean

midsummabreak · 26/04/2019 03:44

I confess to being a cleaning whirlwind at times, followed by fits of resentment and actively going on strike Have four teenagers. They were trained when little , but interestingly are absolutely dumb about the topic of cleaning now. It astounds me daily how badly i failed to produce helpful teenagers who magically jump up and get cracking

How do you find a balance between nagging to clean , i confess i gave up, i know thats setting myself up for more of the same selfish non cleaning behaviour

Original poster

CantDoThisAnymore1 · 26/04/2019 03:44

It is a skill that your parents should have taught you, and shared, you are right about that. But howcome you are not resentful towards your father for encouraging you to get into the habit of chores?

Oh I am resentful towards my father too believe me. For basically buggering off 3 months after I was born.

OP posts:

Original poster

CantDoThisAnymore1 · 26/04/2019 03:47

@onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad

Yes but what you are forgetting is that I actually WANTED to help clean/vacuum/polish etc.

And that desire was thwarted.

Not the same as being made to help with chores.

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midsummabreak · 26/04/2019 03:50

My mum trained me to help with all cleaning, and lots of jobs in the kitchen too As an sdult i am keeping home very clean but do have bursts of striking from the domestic tasks
I guess It worked to an extent because
1/ she was better at putting the fear into me and i did what i was asked
2/ i had that compliant helping cleaner maid personality.

Flip