Payment for school uniforms, lunches etc

[Stilllearning0234]

Apology up front ...sorry, I don't know all the acronyms here but will try.
I've read this thread with interest for the following reason. I have a DS (Dear Son?) and have asked my ex to contribute half towards school uniforms but am getting no respone. No maintenance is paid because, apparently, all income from a rented property goes on the mortgage for that property. AIBU?
I am the father BTW (am I allowed on here?)

If you are the main carer and aren’t getting any maintenance then it is completely reasonable to expect some help with those things.

Acronyms - Yes ds is 'dear' or 'darling son'

Yes, Dads are allowed on here

In principle, that sounds very reasonable, but these things are rarely straightforward. You need to get a proper financial arrangement in place.

Have you tried going to the child maintenance service? They can help with getting maintenance.

Of course your ex should contribute towards her child’s expenses - you need to get maintenance sorted ASAP. It’s not fair on you or your child.

Don’t do it item by item - get a proper arrangement in place

If you are the resident parent then your EXW should be paying regular maintenance. If no maintenance is being paid then it's not unreasonable to ask for a contribution to uniform, etc. Unfortunately that doesn't mean it will happen. You need a maintenance agreement in place (although I know that is easier to say than it is to do!), both parents should contribute to the cost of raising their child.

If the mother can't even be bothered to pay any maintenance (I'm assuming you're the resident carer) I doubt she'll be receptive to paying for school uniform (however reasonable that request may be). I would pursue maintenance via CMS. It sounds like she won't do anything she isn't forced to do.

Go through CMS - it'll take ages but will eventually extract blood from a stone some payments from the NRP to pay for their child.

Is her only income the rent?

If she owns property she doesn’t live or has assets/ cash in the bank to the value of, I think, £65k, the CMS can assume an income based on interest. It is, I believe, quite generous. I would do some googling and start a CMS case. You will undoubtedly have a long haul and plenty of hoops to jump through but you might get lucky.

In the meantime, like so many os is, you will probably be on your own with child-related costs.

And I do wish other posters would realise that sorting out maintenance, even with the CMS, is never easy with someone determined not to pay. 10 years and counting in my case.

I am the resident carer. Re the maintenance. The CMS have been told that there is no disposable income because all income pays the mortgage on her rented out property but CAFCASS were told at one stage that she did indeed have income. To be honest, any maintenance probably wouldn't be significant and would be an endless fight I'm sure but I will investiigate as suggested.
The reason for my first post was to try and get a feel for what is "normal" or even "right" and I now have that. I was begining to think that I was being unreasonable but it looks as if I am not.
Many thanks to you all.

CanI May I ask why it has taken 10 years so far?

I started a new claim in Jan. Ex has ignored every thing so now CMS are doing Collect and Pay directly from his salary. They only needed to know his NI number to do this. It will take up to another 50 days to set up.

I understand that it is more complicated with the NRP is self-employed.

I really hope he can't keep dodging it for 9 more years, and I hope you get yours resolved soon. You're going to get quite a big back pay.

Paying for your kids doesn't come from disposable income!

She must have some other income otherwise how does she eat? She absolutely needs to pay maintenance and help with uniforms it’s her responsibility even if that means she goes without, that’s what parents have to do sometimes.

If she’s not replying by text ask her directly during contact time at drop off / collection. Do you have a reasonably amicable relationship? Do you communicate ok face to face?

The rent cannot = 100% of the mortgage. Buy to let mortgage lenders want you to have something like 120% income to mortgage. How does she pay for repairs, annual certificates of there is no profit?

She may say she has no disposable income, but for tax purposes she has income. Her income is 100% of the rent.
She can choose to spread the mortgage out & therefore make some profit!!
Don’t forget that this rent is also paying off the mortgage & she will be left with a property owned outright at the end.

As others have said, go via the CMS & collect and pay if necessary. It’s hard for her to hide rental income!

As an aside, if child maintenance has to be paid on a car allowance, it certainly would be paid on rental income!!

It depends where you live. In NI if you are on low income you can apply to the education authority for free school lunches and a uniform grant. Can you phone and see if there is something similar where you are?

She is supported by her new partner but they are not short, they live in a £1.5m house with three cars parked outside.

Re the relationship, certainly civil and never any visible anomisity at the hand over. She has paid for things in the past but only ever paid without being asked just before the last court hearing. That went against her (i.e. where DS was going to live) and the issues started then. Which I sort of understand.

She’s

Oops posted too soon. In that case I think you should ask face to face. If she’s not paying maintenance, won’t pay for uniform nor is she housing your child, what exactly does she contribute to her child’s upbringing?

Her new partners wealth is irrelevent.

Presumably her rental income is pushed through a business account? The business may earn X pounds in rent, and Y pounds goes out in mortgage and Z pounds is property up keep and associated costs of the business, and she may well not pay her self a salary from that.