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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be cross my boyfriend has given a gift I gave to him to his daughter

13 replies

londonmum2boys · 25/04/2019 22:05

Last week I gave my boyfriend an Alexa as a gift, he’s a full time single dad. Today he told me that his dd (10) loves her new toy and has it in her room and even took it on a sleepover. I said that was for you, I wanted you to use as a family and he replied yes I’ll probably buy another one for me to use as he loved it too! I wish I’d never given it to him - aibu?

OP posts:
funinthesun19 · 25/04/2019 22:12

Yanbu! That’s so rude of him.

Bbang · 25/04/2019 22:14

That’s very rude, ungrateful really. Why do they need two? Surely one in the living room or kitchen for everyone to enjoy is a much better idea?

RagingWhoreBag · 25/04/2019 22:23

Weird - I can almost understand if he thought he wouldn’t use it but she would, that would make sense. But as he’s thinking he’ll buy another one for himself, he clearly just can’t say no to his DD. She said she wanted it and he gave it to her.

FWIW I had similar with my DP once. I made him a gift, took hours, it was quite stylish and based on something he loved - I know he was pleased with it.

He video called me to show me where he’d put it. In his DD’s room, in amongst the Disney stuff and photos of her mum and dad Angry.

When I told him I was hurt that I’d put a lot of time and love into making it for him and that he’d just given it away his reply was “it’s not like I won’t see it, I go into her room all the time! She said she liked it, so I gave it to her”.

Reminded me of Last Christmas - “I gave you my heart, the very next day you gave it away”.

DP definitely can’t say no to his DDs and it’s been a long running theme throughout our relationship. This was the first time I really felt the ‘hierarchy’ of his daughters’ feelings coming first above mine.

If this is part of a pattern, beware, it won’t get any better.

MereDintofPandiculation · 25/04/2019 22:41

He could at least have been tactful "DD loves it so much I'm going to buy her one, but meanwhile I've lent her mine to take on a sleepover".

Yabbers · 25/04/2019 22:59

She took it on a sleepover? Damn, I’ve had mine for years and struggle if it needs set up. Well done her if she can bring it somewhere else and set it up on someone else’s WiFi

LavaLampLover · 26/04/2019 02:58

That's really hurtful. And having two on the go at the same time can be difficult if you don't upgrade either. I have one, and my dd uses Alexa on her Kindle and it turns mine's music off

dreichuplands · 26/04/2019 03:12

I can easily see this happening in our house, dc love tech and often seem to end up with stuff originally gifted to others.
It isn't a sign he doesn't value you or the gift, just a sign of how much he values his dc.

dreichuplands · 26/04/2019 03:12

2 will mean they can talk to each other

mouldyhousemouldylife · 26/04/2019 03:25

Yanbu.

HennyPennyHorror · 26/04/2019 03:26

I bet you don't have children do you OP? It's nothing offensive...the fact that he gave it to his DD. It's what a lot of parents do...nothing bad.

Monty27 · 26/04/2019 03:33

Seriously? Ltb

PenelopeFlintstone · 26/04/2019 03:36

I bet you don't have children do you OP? It's nothing offensive...the fact that he gave it to his DD. It's what a lot of parents do...nothing bad.

Yep. They take all our good stuff.

Someoneonlyyouknow · 26/04/2019 03:38

He hasn't tried to hide the fact that he gave it to his DD and obviously feels that what is his belongs to both of them. Whereas you gave it to him hoping they would use it in a common space she now has it in her bedroom. I understand why you would be cross that he has effectively given it away and would feel better if he had said he was going to buy his DD another one but I don't think he doesn't value the gift. Perhaps try to explain again how you feel but don't labour the point, being a good parent is a good quality.

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