To feel so awful for shouting at the kids

[Stripyseagulls]

I totally lost my rag earlier- scared them both I think. I feel so awful & I have apologised.

Neither were listening to my 10th request to go & get pj’s on & started arguing with each other.

I totally lost it & shouted at them. Haven’t shouted like that for a long time and now feel terrible. Have told them I love them & that I am really sorry.

Aibu for feeling like a terrible parent- I don’t get that cross very often- am hormonal too I think

It happens to the best of us. Try not to beat yourself up 😉

We’re all human and I do it sometimes too. I apologise afterwards and there’s no harm done. I wouldn’t worry about it anymore, your children won’t.

I'm with you. Having just read the other thread full of people who never shout I feel really bad that I shout as much as I do. Every day I think I'm going to be calm. And I am until they totally ignore me or fight with each other.

You know, it does them good to see there’s a limit.

Don't feel bad we've all been there. I think it's good that you apologized maybe it's good for kids to see we are only human on some levels!

Everyone has a limit! Sometimes kids need to see that their actions (or inactions!) have consequences and if they fanny around then it’s not going to end well!! I always feel bad after shouting as well but you’re human and it will all be forgotten about tomorrow.

The important part is 'haven't shouted at them like that in a long time' - it's OK for it to happen now and then, especially if they were messing around (far worse if it just happens because you're in a bad mood and they're minding their own business).

I lost it with our eldest (7) this evening. After about 3hrs sleep last night thanks to a teething toddler & entertaining all 3 today (toddler being grumpy for most of it as was tired from being up most of the night before) I gave the eldest 2 the option tonight of staying up a bit later to play a game on the condition of keeping the noise down so that they didn't wake the toddler up or go to bed & have a story. They opted to stay up, the eldest then proceeded to kick off loudly when something didn't go his way, was asked, then warned repeatedly before being categorically told to keep his voice down & what the consequences would be if he carried on, & what further consequences there would be if he woke the toddler as a result of his behaviour. He carried on, woke the toddler up & that point I lost it with him. Did I handle it in the best way? No. Do I now feel awful too? Yes. Will I try to be a better mum tomorrow? Always

Haven’t we all shouted at the kids then felt terrible afterwards? It’s usually if I’m extremely tired and / or stressed and I always feel awful about it.

I have totally lost my shit with my DD before and shouted and felt awful. I remember once I lost my temper and shouted at her on the way to school in the car (can't remember what for now), I mean really shouted at her, it was a Friday and she was going to her dads straight from school that day for the weekend. I felt so awful that I phoned her dad and asked him if I could pick her up from school instead and keep her for dinner so I could apologise and make it up to her, luckily he said no problem just drop her off after. Picked her up from school and all was forgiven and we spent some nice quality time. After that I said I would never shout like that again....but I have!

We are parents, part of being a parent is losing your shit, and the another part is feeling guilty about losing your shit. It happens to the best of us and it's how you deal with the aftermath that matters.

I'm with you. Having just read the other thread full of people who never shout I feel really bad that I shout as much as I do. Every day I think I'm going to be calm. And I am until they totally ignore me or fight with each other.

This is me and exactly what my DCs do.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Obviously no one likes to be spoken to like that but you apologised and that's what matters.

It's difficult and feelings like talking to a wall and sometimes a loud voice is the only thing that gets through.

I think children benefit greatly from seeing adults recognise when they have done something wrong and apologising. It teaches them humility and forgiveness.

I grew up with two parents who NEVER EVER said sorry for ANYTHING. It’s not good. Seeing you take responsibility and ownership is a great lesson.

Like PP says, you said “in a long time” which is key. Everyone loses it at times. We are human.

I got a good piece of advice the other day when asking for advice about my defiant 3 year old. “Act, Don’t React” So always act to control a situation but don’t instantly react with negative emotion.

I have taken that on board and it’s re helped. Like every parent however, there will come a time I lose my shit again. And I will apologise.

Youre a good mum - you care and so you feel bad - this is a sign of a great mum, when you care enough to feel bad. Tomorrow will be a better day. It happens to all of us. ❤️

I usually go in for natural consequences rather than harsh discipline but IMO, sometimes the "natural consequence" is that they really, really piss someone off. Don't beat yourself up about it.

It happens to everyone don't worry :) The most important factors here are a) they now know there's a boundary not to be crossed 2) Parents are humans who make mistakes too c) You can be wrong and you recognise when you're wrong and issue an apology. You handled it just fine :)