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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder how to deal with this

13 replies

Thepathbeyond · 25/04/2019 21:08

DD is turning 6. She loves her two closest school friends whose mums I have distanced myself from. Over time I realised how bitchy they were and I didn't want to be part of the constant gossiping and slagging off of other mums for ridiculous reasons. I decided to avoid out of school activities with them but still say 'hello' and be civil etc. They both picked up on this and now either blank me or just stare at me without saying anything. They often stand at the school gates chatting looking over at me and sometimes laughing. I try to ignore this but feel like I'm back in the playground and have come to hate the school run. DD has other friends and parents who we still hang out with.

The problem is DD's birthday is coming up and of course she wants her 2 best friends there. What can I do? Invite them and ignore these bitchy women and sit through 2 hours of hell? I do suffer from anxiety and birthday parties make me nervous anyway. I know there are bigger problems but please advise, I have never been in this situation. I would feel so guilty if DD doesn't have a party or exclude the 2 children but how do I cope with it all? We were going to have a party at home but maybe somewhere outside is better?

OP posts:
Nnnnnineteen · 25/04/2019 21:10

Would they stay at the party if it's in your house? Many by y1 drop and run.

Heratnumber7 · 25/04/2019 21:11

Would they stay at the party? Parents our way would drop and go.

JoyceDivision · 25/04/2019 21:12

Cinemas, you pick up girlss and drop them off,no need for parents to come to yours and stay

Thepathbeyond · 25/04/2019 21:13

Yes the party would be at our house. All the parties so far the parents have stayed at. It would be much easier if they went! Could I say that on the invite??

OP posts:
CupOhTea · 25/04/2019 21:16

I’d go with @JoyceDivision‘s suggestion. Even if they decide for some weird reason to come along to cinema, you wouldn’t even know they were there!

BentBaastard · 25/04/2019 21:18

Phoebe is invited to Amelia’s unicorn party

When? Saturday 4th May
Where? Our house
Time? 2-6pm
Why? Amelia’s 6th birthday

Please feel free to drop your child off at our house and collect later and please let me know if your child has any allergies or intolerances.

CupOhTea · 25/04/2019 21:20

Oh sorry, I see you’re having it at home! X post.

Thepathbeyond · 25/04/2019 21:23

Sorry meant to say DD wants it at home but I'm sure she could be persuaded otherwise. Love the cinema suggestion and invite @BentBaastard Thank you all!

OP posts:
Thepathbeyond · 25/04/2019 21:55

For those that have had cinema parties how does the cake bit work? Confused

OP posts:
Zofloramummy · 25/04/2019 21:58

My dd had a cinema party, we had cake in the Costa coffee shop downstairs from the cinema after the film. It worked really well. Most mums went shopping and picked up after. One mum stayed and paid for her and her older dc (they didn’t sit next to us)

Thepathbeyond · 25/04/2019 22:13

Thank you @Zofloramummy! Sounds perfect.

OP posts:
BentBaastard · 25/04/2019 22:22

You would probably have to check that Costa were happy for you to have cake in their shop.

And do pick n mix sweets and juice boxes for the cinema.
Make sure you have more than one adult with you for toilet runs.

Zofloramummy · 27/04/2019 09:44

Costa didn’t have an issue with the birthday cake as we bought coffees and kids drinks from them. Just ask at your local one.

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