AIBU to move our 4 year old to Singapore

[pollypot123]

An opportunity has arisen for our family to move to Singapore - DH’s job is becoming heavily focused on Asia and they’ve offered to move us there.

We have a 4 year old daughter. No other children and no plans to have more. My parents live abroad (Europe) and I have two siblings (and two nieces) about two hours away, that we see infrequently. DH is not close to his family and we see them a handful of times a year, for a day at a time.

My main concern is that my DD is very sensitive and took ages to settle into Primary school, so the thought of changing everything she knows worries me. Flip-side is that the alternative might mean DH is having to travel to Asia all the time, DD will hardly see him and she will hate that. I’m a SAHM so no career move currently to factor in.

My parents are getting on and won’t do long haul travel, so the onus will be on us to visit but that’s doable and budget should allow for that. We of course will miss our friends, but we have a small group of very very close friends, so getting to see everyone when we visit shouldn’t be difficult (I think).

Does anyone have any experience of such a move? Was it positive? AIBU to subject DD to such upheaval at this age?

Yes she is 4 she will be fine. If she was 14 then maybe but 4?! Do it!

The international schools in Singapore are excellent! It will be upheaval but positive for your DD. I'd only ask about you- it might be a bit more isolating to be a SAHM in such a different country- could you handle it?

Definitely do it. They don't start formal school in Singapore until age 6, so she'll have plenty of time to get settled.

It sounds like a wonderful opportunity and your DD is at the perfect age to make the move.

She'll be fine. Fabulous opportunity, perfect age, loads of really good schools with experience helping kids settle.

Do it!
Singapore is one of the coveted postings in my circles. So long as the package is sufficient (it's an expensive place to live!), I wouldn't hesitate. I'd say you are pretty much at the perfect age to give it a go.

She will be fine. We did it and it was a life changing experience. Just make sure DH’s relocation package includes a guaranteed school place, it is very competitive over there.

Singapore is great- I went with my 2 yr old. There are big expat communities that are very welcoming. If you have a generous package, the lifestyle is fantastic. We took the opportunity to travel in that area while we were there. Bali is divine.

Have you looked at the financial package? We used to live in the region and I always fancied Singapore and so we looked a bit last year but the market out there has changed beyond recognition. The packages offered are much weaker and the cost of living much higher because the local employment market is more skilled. I would say that expats are no longer welcomed in the way they were 25 years ago and it can be an isolated life.

Where would you be able to afford to live?
What schooling is included?
Cars ? Very expensive in Singapore.
What return travel? Business class- how many times a year for family? Singapore is not a place that you can typically get cheap flights to.

Have you ever been to Singapore? It is a unique place but not for everyone. The weather isn't great- smog etc is regular.

It is very safe. Good to hop to other places for the weekend- which are cheaper.

Amazing place/superb educational system/so many opportunities to travel to many mind-expanding places...

She’s the perfect age. Enjoy!

Go!!!!

Honestly I am waiting for my husband to be offered a job in Tokyo (he already travels there a lot!) the second he does, I will be on a plane.

I have a few cliches for you; Opportunities don’t come around like this often. The pros far out weigh the cons, and finally, you only live once.

Just watched Crazy Rich Asians last night. I am desperate to go to Singapore now.

Go and have the adventure

No brainer!

Sounds good, OP. And treat it as the most natural thing in the world for your dd, if she sees you worrying, she will think there is something to stress about.