To ask what you would do?

[Cakeandable]

Posted in WWYD but it's a bit quiet over there.

NC'd as anyone who reads this will know exactly who I am, but I need help. The things that have happened to me are not okay and I need answers as to why it happened and feel wronged.

So, to start off. I have had 4 pregnancies total but only 1 baby as my first 3 pregnancies all ended in miscarriage.

In April 2017 I found out I was pregnant for the third time. Since I'd MC'd previously I knew this wouldn't 100% mean a baby and I was booked in for an early scan at 8 weeks. At 6 weeks I started bleeding again and went to the EPU at my local hospital. A doctor did a scan after I passed something and just said "it's empty". I was sent home with painkillers and that was that. 4 weeks later I collapsed and was very ill, and my Fallopian tube had burst. It turns out there were two baby's in there and I lost both separately. After talking to my GP when I had a post surgery check (I needed laparoscopy to remove my burst tube), they informed me that 1 - my Fallopian tube should have been visible on the scan as it had a baby in it, and that 2 - I easily could have died (I lost a lot of blood). So that's the first mistake that has been made on a scan for me and the rudeness of the doctor who scanned me was very upsetting and she was clearly rushed.

My 4th pregnancy was different. Due to the previous ectopic pregnancy, I was booked in for a scan at 6 weeks and I got there with no pain or bleeding and nausea in full swing. At the scan, in which I was made to put my legs up on a chair, in front of a lot of people and push my bum up with my legs whilst the doctor dug the wand around way too far up my vagina, it was agony. He then took measurements and told me there was no fetal pole. I asked what the chance was of my pregnancy continuing and he told me absolutely zero. The midwife said 1% but I think that was only to be nice. As I'd had so much shit with pregnancies previously I was offered medical management of the MC that day and booked in for a scan a week and a half later to see if 'product' remained in my tubes. I declined medical management and went home completely drained of anything.

The next scan was due and I've still not had any bleeding or anything but I decided to ask for medical management that day. Went into the scan, and I saw instantly that the little lump looked bigger and the sonographer (I finally got to see an actual sonographer) said there was a heart beat and that baby looked perfect. A lot of time later I'm now holding my sleepy 3 month old and all is well with him.

But, surely this isn't okay at all? What can I do about it? What would you do?

I tried emailing PALS but was told it could take ages to get anywhere and they seem to have ignored this completely. I also tried contacting no win no fee law places but got told they didn't want the case. So any idea what I can do next?

Thank you if you got to the end!

That is awful OP, I am so sorry.

It’s hard to say whether there is a valid personal injury claim here. Regarding the second situation, you could only claim for stress / psychiatric injury, and any payout would likely to be too low to be worth it.

Regarding the first incident, as it caused you harm there might be more chance of a claim. Again though, as you haven’t been left with permanent injury, pain or scarring any payout would likely be very small.

I would try PALS again; and make it clear that you will escalate if they don’t respond appropriately.

I hope you’re ok now with your lovely baby

I am sorry for your losses. Congratulations on the safe arrival of your baby.

A transvaginal scan isn’t the most comfortable or dignified but there should only have been medically trained people in the room with you. If there were any students you should have asked if you gave permission for them to be there. It sounds like he was very brusque in his reply when you asked about the pregnancy continuing, which is awful and unforgivable, and the offer of MM upsetting giving that had you taken it you wouldn’t now have your little one.

What outcome are you wanting? What is it that you actually want to happen? An apology from the dr or change of protocol or compensation? I do think you need to contact PALS again but it isn’t a quick thing. They have to look into your notes, get a response from the dr, the midwife etc so they won’t be ignoring you it just takes a lot longer than you imagine.

I'd keep pushing at a formal complaint, rather than expecting compensation or something.

It's horrifying that you were being pushed into an accidental abortion. That doctor needs to know (and possibly retraining).

Congratulations on your little one

Thank you so much for your replies. Finally being a mum after everything feels amazing!

I'll try again with PALS. What I really would love to happen, in an ideal world, is for the doctors who did my scans to be re-trained, especially in delivering bad news. I get they probably do every day but it should still be done with empathy and grace.

I'd also love for scans to only be done by sonographers who are actually trained to. I saw a sonographer recently for a post-birth issue and she was horrified (had to go over previous pregnancies and outcomes).

I could easily have accidentally aborted my son and wouldn't have known it wasn't a MC and that terrifies me that it might be happening to other women. I can't believe how close I came. I was going to do it after the first scan but DP asked if we could wait and cling to that tiny bit of hope.