Married for 15 years, dc 9 and 6, no family to help closeby. DH is self-employed, I work unsocial contracted hours, early starts and late finishes plus night shift. We have dc equally and occasionally pay for childcare or ask friends to help. I pay almost all of the bills, he pays for the mortgage. He is good at hiding his income to the extent I really don't know how much he makes. I know that his business is growing.
Every time we have a disagreement he threatens not to have the kids when I go to work, leaving me destitute. He is very abusive, name calling, every single name under the sun. Shouting at me in front of the dc. Yesterday, I was late coming from work, nipped in ASDA to pick up ds sch uniform, I had a welcome party, before i even got out of the car. Poor dd 6 had a friend, she covered her freind's little ears so she wouldn't hear her dad's swearing at me on the drive.
Everything we own is in his name only, the house, a property in another country, 3 cars, a jet ski and a motorbike. Why do I accept this you ask "for peace". I know i need to leave him, but i cannot see how i would be able to work as a single parent. Unsociable hours means its hard to get paid childcare. Today following on from yesterday, he has played his last card - if I walk out he will have nothing to do with the children.
Has anyone been through this before. I feel so trapped, we really don't have a relationship since dd was born 6 years ago if am honest apart from the childcare arrangement. He is ville, but these are his dc. Sorry for the ramblings.