We have two children - a daughter (aged 4) and a new baby who is six months old. I always hummed and hawed over wanting a third, but the second pregnancy/birth and post partum period was so awful I decided very firmly that our family was complete. My husband has never wanted a third (despite being the oldest of 4!).
I've just found out that I am pregnant again. Early days. Complete surprise, we had been using contraception very carefully.
My husband does not want the baby. He doesn't even think having a termination is an issue because it's just a ball of cells. I am very pro choice, but I am really struggling. In my head, I know we cannot possibly afford a third. We are going to struggle to pay childcare fees when I go back to work soon. Me being a SAHP is not an option. I am hoping to increase my earnings when I return to work, but this will only cover our costs.
I've already booked an appointment to have the abortion pills, because I'd rather have an appointment then cancel it, rather than risk having delays which take me past 9 weeks.
AIBU to have no idea what to do? My husband really sees this as a cut and dry decision. He isn't cruel, he just doesn't understand why I would have doubts. I had no joy when I saw the positive results on the test, just dread. I feel guilty, but that was my reaction.
But maybe it's the hormones, but I'm beginning to think maybe we could just deal with it.
Basically, AIBU to not know what the fuck to do. Would I be unreasonable to suggest continuing the pregnancy even though it would cause financial difficulties for years to come, and we had agreed no more kids? It would also have a big impact on my career and possibly marriage.
Please help.