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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to of told DP he can't go to pub tonight

15 replies

WheresAllTheGoodInTheWorld · 24/04/2019 20:19

So DP last min suggested going to watch football at the pub with my dad.
Normally I would have no issue with this.
However at 5w6 last week I started to bleed. Its been heavy since. 111 said not much can be done. To check next week with a PG test and go from there. I'm 100 percent sure the baby is no longer. Without tmi. A lot of blood and tissue has came out.
When I told DP I was bleeding he was gutted. But is trying to bg hopeful, maybe a bit naieve that it's gonna be OK?
He's had to work as the manager is in hospital and altho everyone would cope without him I havent asked him to take time off. I have been uncomfortable and heavy loss running round after 13m old.
All I've wanted tonight is a soak in the bath. And he watch dd. Who had a late nap.

So In an unreasonable tone said. Are you for real. You know what I'm going through and have been trying to do things alone and you want to go out. Are you having a laugh?

He was fine and cancelled my dad's offer. And said he feels bad. But now I feel bad.. Or maybe it's the hormones?
I've buggered off for a soak but now feel guilty.

What do I say to him when I get out.

For context he didn't get shitty or anything he's not like that and has no issue in staying in. It's not like he'd of gone and got drunk as he's driving so would only drink coke.

OP posts:
WheresAllTheGoodInTheWorld · 24/04/2019 20:20

An yes I know I was BU for speaking to him quite sarcastic

OP posts:
DizzyPhillips · 24/04/2019 20:22

Nah. You’re not BU and neither is he. Sometimes they just don’t get it and sometimes you just need to say what you need.

DizzyPhillips · 24/04/2019 20:22
Flowers
Gruzinkerbell1 · 24/04/2019 20:23

Be kind to yourself OP, you’re going through a lot. I’m glad your DP stayed at home with you Flowers

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 24/04/2019 20:23

I am so sorry to read about your poor health you must be v scared
Understandably you’re feeling vulnerable and presence is he stay in
Take care,don’t overthink a brief convo
I hope you get a resolution about the bleeding

Karwomannghia · 24/04/2019 20:24

Not unreasonable and good on him for being good about it. Just show how grateful you are!

Outnotdown · 24/04/2019 20:25

Sometimes you have to spell things out. Enjoy your bath. Glad he's responded properly.

You'll both be fine Flowers

WheresAllTheGoodInTheWorld · 24/04/2019 20:25

Thank you. When I get out I will say. Any other time you know I wouldn't have an issue with it. But I've been trying to do it alone so as not to get you out of work and it's just got too much.?

OP posts:
Jengnr · 24/04/2019 20:27

Just say ‘I’m sorry I spoke to you like that, I’m shit scared’ and give him a hug.

Good luck. I hope it’s good news. xx

User12879923378 · 24/04/2019 20:29

Not even a tiny bit unreasonable to ask him to stay. Nothing to feel bad about or apologise for. Flowers for your loss.

Bobbiepin · 24/04/2019 20:29

You are not being unreasonable in the slightest but remember that he will be upset too and might need to talk. Going out and going to work might be a way of denying the reality by avoiding it.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, you deserve to be looked after and enjoy your bath.

TixieLix · 24/04/2019 20:29

Just give him a big hug and tell him you love him. I'm sorry if you have lost your baby OP Flowers.

saraclara · 24/04/2019 20:50

Yep. Give him a hug and tell him you were scared and sad and need him around.

ConfCall · 24/04/2019 21:20

I’m sorry that you’re going through this.

He sounds like a nice guy so I’m sure it’ll be ok later. Just explain how nervous you are.

WheresAllTheGoodInTheWorld · 24/04/2019 21:33

Thank you. He's watching football indoors now. So I got out bath and am just making a cuppa and will go hug him. When football finished I'll make sure I tell him.

OP posts:
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