Just need a rant

[AllesAusLiebe]

So there have been a number of posts recently re neighbours, but this evening I’m really about to lose my shit.

We’ve always had a great relationship with ours. When DS was born, the woman next door called in with gifts, we’ve given them gifts for landmark birthdays etc.

I’ve spoken to them a couple of times recently and all has been perfectly amicable, therefore I’m puzzled as to why the fuck they think it’s ok to begin hammering nails into our adjoining walls and drilling after 7pm when they’re fully aware that we have a 6 month old.

He’s been at home since before 5, but this has just started now! They’ve also had a whole bank holiday weekend off during which this ‘work’ could’ve commenced, but no, the asshole waits until I’ve bathed DS and I’m getting him ready for bed. DH is currently giving him a bottle and I’m contemplating asking them what the fuck they think they’re doing at this time on an evening.

To add context, because I was concerned about disturbing them when we had DS, I slept downstairs with him every night for the first 3 months until we got into a bedtime routine because I knew that next door’s son had just started a new (pretty stressful) job and I didn’t want him to be disturbed overnight. I also repositioned our wardrobes in our room in an attempt to dampen the noise when we moved DS in our room with us. They know this and have told me that it was completely unnecessary 😂, but I’m such a pedant when it comes to noise that I was hoping that karma would reward me for my efforts! Ha ha.

The son said to me just last week, “we never hear him”, so I’m wondering whether they’ve forgotten!

Why can’t people just fucking think?! I’ll be really disappointed if our relationship deteriorated, but I cannot believe that people can be so thoughtless when we’ve been nothing but considerate neighbours towards them.

Should I knock and ask him how long he reckons this project will take? Wwyd?

7pm isn't late though, it's a normal time of day to do stuff in the house. They aren't going to know what times your baby is actually asleep unfortunately. A baby could be asleep at any time of the day, or hardly asleep at all. They can't put their life on hold on the offchance that they might wake a baby up.

Are they doing it regularly? Maybe just ask them if they can keep the noisy work to a minimum after 7, if you get on then it shouldn't be a difficult conversation. If its a one off I'd just let it go to be honest, maybe they've had a DIY emergency that needs sorting quickly - 7 isn't that late in the evening to get a quick job done.

I always think it a complete novelty if people actually get up, walk round, knock on the door and TALK with their neighbours. It astounds me when people do this. One would think the art of communication was dead.

Perhaps he wanted to relax on his Bank Holiday. 7 is a perfectly normal time to do DIY. He got in at 5. Relax a bit, eat dinner, do some DIY around 7. You are bonkers for sleeping downstairs with your baby and can’t exoect everyone else to be bonkers to the same degree. Thoughtful neighbourliness should only go so far...

Just knock and ask them to stop? Especially as they’re clearly nice neighbours.

Sorry but I think you are being totally unreasonable! We HAVE a baby and still do DIY at that hour!

Noise doesn't seem to affect sleeping babies in the same way...

No time is the right time for drilling and banging. If hey don't do it now, they'll do it some other time equally inconvenient.

Why don't you just speak to them? It might just be a quick, like putting up selves or a TV bracket.

You really slept downstairs? That's crazy.

If it's a one off just suck it up, they may have had something fall off a wall or something that needed fixing straight away. If it's every night for days on end then politely point out. But if it's a one off stop being so bloody picky!

quick job*
Shelves*

🤦🏽‍♀️

Really? 7pm isn’t late for diy. I always thought 9pm was the cut off point?

Op, he likely doesn't think you can hear him and seven o clock isn't late. He's likely had his dinner and simply getting whatever it is done.

I think it's a bit unreasonable to expect him to know your babies sleeping habits and not be allowed to diy at seven o clock or be expected to do it on bank holidays.

If it’s a one off in an otherwise pleasant relationship I would calm the fuck down and realise that 7pm isn’t late and sometimes people have to make do with whatever time they have and that one night where you are inconvenienced a bit isn’t the actual end of the world.

If they carry on over multiple evenings, pop over and politely ask if they could try and avoid evening work.

I don’t really want to go and ask them to stop, because as has been pointed out, it’s not late at night. I just find it incredibly stupid that you’d select 7pm at night to start DIY when you have neighbours whom you profess to like with a baby.

Cardibach I know I’m bonkers for doing that! I’m not from the UK and still have it drilled (excuse the pun) into me that all noise is bad and completely unnecessary.

YABU. And I say that as someone who wanted to throttle a neighbour last weekend for drunkenly ringing our bell at 8pm
And waking our baby to ask for free funfair tickets (yes, really). Peoples lives don’t revolve around your baby. It’s annoying but when it’s a one off but it down to them not thinking and move on.

Isn't it 9pm before it's considered antisocial? I can't remember the rules.

I don't think 7pm is late either I must say

If you’re working till 5 when else are you supposed to do it?! Literally cannot fit any more fucking chores into my weekend.

I’ve had a bad day.

That's very annoying I agree. I'd go ask nicely what's going on and just drop into conversation the bed time your child has. I'm going through something similar but can't divulge as I'm sure neighbours a mumsnetter!!! Involves a different noise at a much later hour. You need to be diplomatic with neighbours always, they live closer to you than family does at the end of the day!!! x

Bring back tribal villages with community councils for sorting this shit out 😂

I'm in genuine awe that you have a 6 month old who will be disturbed by this. Mine didn't sleep at this point in the evening until 3 or 4 years old

No harm in knocking and asking how long they think they'll be though.

We hung a shelf about 20 mins ago. It took about 12 minutes in total....

Is 9pm really the cut-off point???

Oh god I have overreacted. 😂 Carry on as you were, ignore this thread.

This is quite an extreme reaction to a bit of DIY at 7pm.

It doesn't sound like they do this all the time? They probably just got round to it and didn't think it was particularly late so no problem. Just go round and ask them if they mind doing it earlier another day?

7pm isn’t too late when you’ve been at work all day. Perhaps they had other plans or were entertaining over Easter. Sorry but their DIY schedule doesn’t revolve around you DS. Yabu

They could have done it at 3pm when your baby was napping. They don’t really have any way of knowing when the baby is asleep.

You genuinely can’t expect that you will never hear your neighbours. It’s simply an impossibility in adjoining houses. Ranting and raving about one night of diy isn’t really reasonable.

Op do you have anger issues? Your reaction was really ott.