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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Trying to write my last uni essay of the year for 9am Friday and so tired. Anyone else?

76 replies

FinalFurlongs · 24/04/2019 18:47

Not an AIBU but posting in busy part of the site for support. I'm excited at the thoughts of being done but so tired! Is anyone in the same boat?

2500 words to go Shock I have all evening and all day tomorrow to do it. Will I survive? Wondering if I should work through part of the night to get a big chunk done?

I know my topic fairly well, though have to do a bit more research. I have opinions on it so lots to say in anyway. I'm just really tired and feeling daunted, and definitely need a bit of a break after this is handed in.

Who can relate?

OP posts:
Original poster
FinalFurlongs · 25/04/2019 16:46

I still have a fair amount left to write but I don't even care about word counts anymore, I can't write any good fucking words so what's the point?

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UCOinanOCG · 25/04/2019 16:47

How far through it are you now?

MollysLips · 25/04/2019 16:50

I write for a living and I still feel like this almost every time!

Did you get any sleep? Writing is so hard when your brain is tired.

Can I help?

Original poster
FinalFurlongs · 25/04/2019 16:50

Technically I have just over 1000 left to write but the stuff I've written is honestly so shite.

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MollysLips · 25/04/2019 16:52

All the planning is done, with quite a lot of detail. I'm kind of just filling in each section now.

Honestly, if you've planned it all out, it can't be a bad essay. You might not have hit your flow yet, but it can't be bad technically.

MollysLips · 25/04/2019 16:52

Why do you think it's shite?

SagelyNodding · 25/04/2019 16:53

Keep going! My Easter break was ruined this year by me writing my 'master's thesis' but the feeling when I decided it was finally finished is amazing!
I also feel that I could have done better and that my classification might well go down, but there's no way in hell I'm going to touch it again...
One more short but tough assignment and my viva and I am freeeee...ignores individual teaching inspection The French pgce thing is horrendous!

Original poster
FinalFurlongs · 25/04/2019 16:53

I slept well, so I'm not physically tired I'm just completely shattered mentally. I want it to be done but done well and it's just rubbish. So upset.

Spent ages checking and re checking my data and statistics over and over as I'm afraid of making a BIG mistake with these numbers and not only looking stupid but totally invalidating my arguments. This is what slowed me down, I have anxiety and can get trapped in cycles like this. That was very time consuming and now all the fucking time has run out.

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MollysLips · 25/04/2019 16:54

I find it helpful to imagine the person I'm writing to, and write it TO them. When you feel like you're taking to yourself, or to thin air, it works clunky. But when you're writing to talk to another person, it comes alive.

Picture your reader. Write to them.

Original poster
FinalFurlongs · 25/04/2019 16:55

Sage that sounds horrendous, is Easter not quite early for a thesis to have to be done by? Everyone I know has until August or September! I can't imagine squeezing in a dissertation over the Easter hols fucking hell.

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MollysLips · 25/04/2019 16:56

It takes 1 hour to write 1600 words. You have AGES left!

I get anxiety too. This is just perfectionism. It's paralysing.

But you haven't messed up! You've got HOURS left and it's 55% done!

Have a break. Make a coffee. Walk for 15 minutes. Come back, keep going.

Original poster
FinalFurlongs · 25/04/2019 16:57

Thanks Molly, I'm having a break away as sick of staring at the numbers and still can't shake the anxiety I've made a glaring error with them.

When I get stuck back into it I'm going to try your technique of picturing the reader.

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MollysLips · 25/04/2019 16:58

Spent ages checking and re checking my data and statistics over and over as I'm afraid of making a BIG mistake with these numbers

I think that's a really good use of your time. Really! Far better than writing something that's creative and engaging, but factually bollocks.

Burnshersmurfs · 25/04/2019 17:00

My deadline is next Friday- totally feel your pain. Every single word is like swimming through mud at the moment. Can't wait for it all to be over and I can dive head first into a large gin.

MollysLips · 25/04/2019 17:03

You'll be fine. I promise.

I get this every time I try to write something that's brilliant. It just cripples me. I second-guess every sentence, edit it all to death, stop, start, slump over my desk, ear biscuits, sigh, go on netflix...

You know the phrase "Good enough is good enough" was coined by a psychoanalyst, to help patients who were paralysed by perfectionism?

Make it your mantra now. Good Enough is good enough.

Write out one whole draft then have a break, then go back and tidy it up.

Don't stop. If something feels crap, highlight it in s different colour to look at later, but carry on.

Burnshersmurfs · 25/04/2019 17:07

Thanks Molly- that's really good advice, and so kind.

UCOinanOCG · 25/04/2019 17:09

So you have checked and rechecked your figures so you now have to accept they are correct and continue to write using those figures. Go for a quick walk to get some fresh air. Sit down and continue with the next part of your essay plan. Get to the magic word count and then take a break. Re-read it later and tweak bits but don't do any major rejigging. Add your references and you are done. You can do it!

Original poster
FinalFurlongs · 25/04/2019 17:40

Had a coffee and a break. Have only managed 13 words in last quarter of an hour.

How can some people type 1000's of words in an hour? Shock

Jesus Christ. I do have issues with perfection (and a massive, massive fear of failure) but I'm really trying to just keep on pushing and write stuff without nitpicking at myself and now I can't write anything.

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Original poster
FinalFurlongs · 25/04/2019 17:40

Even if something like a diary I don't think I'd manage more than about 500 words in an hour!

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Burnshersmurfs · 25/04/2019 21:48

It sometimes helps if I write it out by hand first- try that. It takes the pressure off somehow.

Original poster
FinalFurlongs · 25/04/2019 21:50

I have basically given up Sad not written a thing for over two hours now.

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Original poster
FinalFurlongs · 25/04/2019 21:54

The whole thing doesn't make any sense to me anymore and I think I've done most of it wrong. I have just regurgitated a bunch of facts about my topic.

Going to fail and possibly fail the whole degree if I can't manage to pass it for a capped mark. Which I can't. I can't make myself understand it or form coherent thoughts.

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Rarotonga · 25/04/2019 21:56

Oh OP I can totally relate. How long do you have left? It doesn't have to be perfect, just good enough. You can do this.

Stiffasaboard · 25/04/2019 22:03

When is it due in?

Is anyone around who can have a read through for you and see if it makes sense (even if they don’t really know the subject?)

Try and just get stuff down now for each section so it is finished of sorts, then have a short walk in the fresh air and then read through the whole essay.

Cross thru anything obviously wrong and correct any glaring errors then another 15 min walk and read it though in its entirety again.

Original poster
FinalFurlongs · 25/04/2019 22:18

I found a serious mistake in one of the stats I'd put in, which I'd thought I'd checked thoroughly. And then written a big paragraph about it to support my argument. So that's bullshit and had to scrap about 300 words, that's when I ran out of steam.

I just do not know what to do, I feel numb.

Messing up with the accuracy of the stats makes me feel I don't deserve this degree, like I'm just not cut out for it. My anxiety is driving me mad because it drives me to check and check and check but it's all highly anxious checking so doesn't really work - I'm not analysing with a clear head.

DP can read it later tonight but is was at a conference and is entertaining clients and such at the moment.

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