To be upset that my partner ‘forgets’ that I had an eating disorder?

[yadayadayesokay]

In my past I have been anorexic and then bulimic. It took me years and was a mighty battle to overcome, one of the hardest things in my life. Even though I have been a healthy weight for years, the negative thoughts still creep back in. It’s always in the background but the difference is that I don’t act on the bad thoughts anymore.

Sometimes when I get over-hungry I feel the fear associated with my eating disorders that I may never eat again. It’s more than just hangry! I do get irrational about food in these moments so try to make sure it doesn’t happen. (Examples of me being irrational are having to have a specific food and nothing else will do, or having to eat in absolute peace and quiet without being disturbed)

I have explained my history in detail to my partner, who I have been with for 5 years, and told him how sick I was at the time and how it affected me. However, during the times I have ‘the fear’ and behave irrationally, we usually end up arguing about it because he treats me insensitivity and when I explain to him that it’s eating disorder related he gets defensive and says ‘I forget’ and that ‘you seem ‘normal’ now so I don’t think of it’ or his excuse today was ‘I’m tired after work and have a lot on my mind’

It was such a major part of my life, how can he just completely ‘forget it?’ Am I being over sensitive or is this something he should be mindful of?

I think it might be a case of 6 of one and half a dozen the other.

He doesn't sounds particularly empathetic, but MH issues can be difficult to understand if you've never experienced them, or if you don't know anyone who has.

But you do also sound a little oversensitive. Have you had counselling to help you deal with triggers?

It was such a major part of my life, how can he just completely ‘forget it?’
But it sounds as if he wasn't part of your life at the time so therefore it's easy to forget! And to be honest the things that you describe (having to have a particular food or peace & quiet to eat in) aren't things that most people would associate with an eating disorder, they're just people being a bit different to normal for 5 minutes. I think YABU.

Yabu
You expect him to be on alert to your thoughts?
It was a big part of your life and you haven't overcome it if this still happens to you.

I’m sorry OP. It’s hard, but not your partner’s fault.

You need to ensure you never get over hungry, have easy meals/snacks ready to go.