DSis and uni, aibu?

[bettydavid1972]

My DSis is 21 and in final year of degree. Throughout uni, she suffered from anorexia. This is well documented with the uni. She’s spoken to them, counsellors, etc...

She has an essay due in three days, and has asked for an extension as she is currently suffering from a relapse.

They’ve asked for medical evidence which I understand, but they want it by Friday. Considering she’s asked for an extension due to poor mental health and the fact she is barely eating and unable to concentrate, which they know, and Aibu to think they should give her more than 48 hours to get medical evidence for the extension, especially considering how long it can take to get a doctors appointment these days?

She is now ringing up the doctor (I’ve offered to help) 250 miles away to get medical evidence, and will have to travel home to collect it by Friday this seems counterproductive seeing as she’s asked for an extension to enable her to finish the essay, and if it is denied, she’ll have wasted all the time anyway

AIBU to think she should have more than 48 hours to find medical evidence?

Why cant she go to urgent care/walk in clinic ?

Does she really have to travel to get it? Is there no way this can be sent electronically?

Has she spoken to her doctor yet? The doctor may be able to email the university. They did this for my brother when he was suffering a mental health relapse. I then picked up the actual doctors letter and posted it to him. Obviously the doctors note took a little longer to get to them, but the university were fine with this.

I'm sorry to hear about the difficult time your sister is facing. Could she elect someone else to deal with the university at present so she can concentrate on recovery? I agree 48 hours isn't long to provide evidence. Who is she seeing at the moment? Is she getting specialist care? Perhaps they could produce some generic document? Either way I would hope either you or her parents could deal with the uni for her and say clearly it make take longer than 48 hours to provide evidence. This time limit may be just the automatic one for students who are sick (which would usually just be flu etc and easier to prove immeditaley).

Urgent care/walk in clinic are awkward about providing medical evidence, in the past they’ve provided evidence a week or two later, in the form of a doctors note.

Also, she’s not eating much and struggling mentally but I’m not sure it’s something urgent care can do much about- physically she is okay, and I’m not sure what they can actually do. She’s in therapy, etc.

If she had told them a week before deadline she wouldve had a week to get it

I dont think its unreasonable to require it before submission date

will have to travel home to collect it by Friday

Does her GP not have a fax machine or email ? It really isnt difficult for her tp phone and email in, follow up with a hard written copy of her authority, giving the G P all the details of the university department/person dealing with this.

She could ask the practice manager to do an interim email detailing there is a history of MH problems.

You're making a mountain out of a mole hill and TBH at 21, at uni she should be capable of sorting her own problems out without relying on you to do her fetching and carrying. .

Can the GP not put the letter in the post to her to save her travelling 250 miles to get it?

Not sure if the uni ABU but I would probably expect more time than that to get hold of the medical evidence.

I wonder if she has left the work to the last minute anyway and the stress if it has triggered her relapse (just thinking out loud). If so, the Uni may think that most of it should have been completed by now.

Anyway good luck with getting it quickly and I hope your DSis recovers quickly too.

Getting doctor to email university is a good idea, actually. She is seeing someone, long term things are good, she’s just having a bad few days as it’s the anniversary of a traumatic event that caused her eating disorder in the first place.

I think the problem is she has only informed them with three days to go so understandably they will need the evidence before the deadline.

GP have said she must collect it in person, for some reason.

Admittedly it is very soon, she’s done a large chunk of it but the last bit she’s struggling with to finish

But they don't know if they can grant the extension without the medical evidence.

She can't hand the evidence in next month and then go back in time to complete the essay by the deadline if it isn't accepted. But if she can't get the medical evidence sorted sufficiently then she currently does have a chance to complete the essay by the deadline.

You'd be complaining so much more if they let her hand the evidence in late then didn't accept it.

If she has done a large chunk of it can you or someone else travel to her and help her focus on getting it finished?

You have said 'she is in therapy' - wouldn't it make more sense for the therapist to e-mail the university ?

I can totally see that the Dr - if he hasn't seen her - can't provide a note without seeing her, and I can understand that the University needs evidence or all students could say anything to avoid deadlines.

She probably thought she was going to get it together to be able to write the essay though. And has only now admitted to herself that she's actually not.

This is a mental health issue, not a bad head cold. The university both can and should exercise some flexibility here. That said, she needs to speak to them with a sensible suggestion (email, fax, post) and sort it with the GP ASAP.

Oh damn, I cross posted. In that case she probably still needs to go back to the university to discuss.

Who is she speaking to about it? A lecturer or department secretary? Or a dedicated member of staff who deals with and processes extensions?

I was also going to say that surely it would be more appropriate for her medical team at uni to provide evidence rather than the family doctor.

Could she go to a drs local to uni as a temporary resident?

I work for a university. I think normally if someone is unwell enough to need an extension on a major project, then they would be receiving medical care in someway, either from a GP, hospital, or mental health team. There are a lot of students who try to get out of things with all sorts of completely ridiculous excuses because they just partied too hard over the weekend or are lazy. If she is unwell and having a relapse, she needs to be seeking support somewhere. That should be a priority now. Whoever is providing that care can write the letter.

Can’t someone else pick up the letter and scan it them email?

It's a few years since I worked at a uni. but the extension rules were pretty strict. For example if you'd been in hospital the extension time was the length of your hospital stay. There were always many many students wanting extensions for reasons which were deliberately concocted to be vague and difficult to prove. They would only be accepted if the student was unwell enough to have received medical help (for their current bout of sickness) and they would be able to provide evidence from whichever doctor they saw (which would be local if it was term time).

Hopefully your dsis is getting specialised treatment from an ED clinic? Can she get evidence from someone there?

Could a parent collect it for her?