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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know if I'm wrong here?

5 replies

Stoptheworldandmelt · 24/04/2019 06:15

Genuinely uncertain. Obviously I lean towards me being reasonable, but maybe I was insensetive.
For reference, both me and my friend have ASD.

I've had to worst run for the past few months. I finished my PGCE in July as an outstanding teacher, but old head out, new head in and suddenly I'm wildly inadequate depsite teaching virtually identical lessons (obviously adapted). I was bullied at work by my head (union was involved), and I eventually resigned in December, having been told I'd fail my NQT year. One thing led to another and now I'm working overseas, and I've just had my first formal observation since being told I was a 'special measures teacher'. My head here was very impressed, and has passed my probation early, as she doesn't see any immediate needs to be addressed by probation.
My best friend works for a locally known prick. He is still on probation having worked there for a year, no one at his workplace passes probation, his manager/owner uses it as an excuse to sack people with only days notice. My friend is employable, could get another job, but thinks he can push on with this one. The probation thing has gotten him down before, but he has been told he is good at his job.
I excitedly texted my friend when I got my news, thinking he'd be happy for me because of the year I had, I nearly left teaching believing that I shouldn't be a teacher (due to my ASD largely, which was something my old head had suggested to me). I feel I have bounced back and was really proud. Well now he's sulking and has said that I shouldn't have said anything "given his position'.
That was probably too long, but I worry about these things and I have apologised, but I'm not used to such sulking from him, my DH said I may have just caught him at a bad time, and to leave it be for a minute, but that I have nothing to be sorry for.
So, was I BU? Or was my friend for getting a sulk on and raining on my parade?

OP posts:
CareBear50 · 24/04/2019 06:33

Well done you! Your friend is being very unreasonable. You did nothing wrong. I'd just leave things for the moment with your friend and let the dust settle.

SnowsInWater · 24/04/2019 06:44

I don't think you did anything wrong. We should still be able to be happy when good things happen to our friends despite what is going on in our own lives. Hopefully your friend will realize he reacted badly and apologize. Well done you 😊

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 24/04/2019 06:46

They are BU, well done on passing your probation!

longwayoff · 24/04/2019 06:58

Friend feeling insecure and patronised. Absolutely not your fault, well done on your success.

Stoptheworldandmelt · 24/04/2019 08:37

Thanks so much all :) I am super proud of myself, although I didn't want to be another statistic of a teacher leaving the UK. But what happens happens! I'll let him chill out, and then check in on his MH. He might just be in an ebb.

OP posts:
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